Chuck Norris can check out books from the Library of Congress.
When Chuck Norris eats teddy grahams, he craps out grizzly bears.
It's 4:04. Do you know where your auditor is?
If you want a list of Chuck Norri's enemies, just check the extinct species list.
When should you feel sorry for a skunk? When its spray pump is out of order!.
Chuck Norris uses 8'x10' sheets of plywood as toilet paper.
The Terminator said, "I'll be back" because he saw Chuck Norris was coming.
What's the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator? When you take sausage out of the fridge it doesn't fart.
An asp in the grass is a snake, but a grasp in the ass is a goose.
Yo mama's so fat, she walked across the dance-floor...and the band skipped!