The ground hog only pokes his head out to check for Chuck Norris.
The girl says to the guy; "Honest to God, tell me what you think... Can anyone love me?" "Yeah, for sure..." "And then... What are you waiting for...?"
The cannibal priest told his flock to close their eyes and say grace. "For whosoever we are about to eat, may the Lord make us truly thankful."
Having past almost 30 years, the same question still bothers him… Why he does not look alike his brothers and parents at all - every single one pretty and he so ugly. He summoned all his courage and decided to ask his mother: "Mom, tell me the truth please, I am adapted, aren’t I?" The mother burst into tears and said: "Yes, my child! But it didn’t work, they returned you back!"
Chuck Norris uses gasoline as aftershave just for the pleasant tingling sensation.
Chuck Norris didn't sign the Declaration of Idependence because he wanted the British to think they had chance.
What is the difference between a black monopoly board and a white one. The black on you roll any number and you go to jail.
You momma's teeth are so nasty the b*tch spits yoohoo.
Batman is to Robin as Chuck Norris is to Death.
Once, an entire country disagreed with Chuck Norris. It's now known as the moon