Chuck Norris once shaved his beard.
People now call it Bigfoot.
Vote:
A blonde walks into a library and asks the librarian, "Can I have a burger and fries?"
She replies, "Sorry, this is a library."
The blonde whispers, "Oh, sorry. May I have a burger and fries?"
The Dead Sea was formerly known as The Living Sea.
Until it met Chuck Norris.
Vote:
What's green and yellow and eats nuts?
Gonorrhea.
Vote:
Two friends talking:
"What's up?"
"My wife left me for my best friend.."
"I thought I was your best friend..."
"Now he is."
Me: If a blonde girl and brunette girl jumped off a cliff at the same time, who would hit the ground first?
Friend: I don't know, who?
Me: The brunnete, the blonde had to ask for directions.
Why do bankruptcy lawyers expect to be paid?
Your mama's teeth are so messed up....i thought her tongue was in jail!
A beautiful princess comes upon a frog in a meadow near her castle.
The frog hops into the princess' lap and says, "My lady, one kiss from you, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I once was, and then, my sweet, we can marry and set-up housekeeping in yon castle with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children and forever be happy doing so."
That night, as the princess dines on lightly sauteed frog legs, she chuckles to herself, "I don't f**kin' think so."
You momma's teeth are so nasty the b*tch spits yoohoo.