Q: Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused a Novocain injection during root canal treatment?
A: He wanted to transcend dental medication!
Usain Bolt is so fast I saw a Cheetah giving him a High 5.
Chuck Norris once shaved his beard.
People now call it Bigfoot.
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A blonde walks into a library and asks the librarian, "Can I have a burger and fries?"
She replies, "Sorry, this is a library."
The blonde whispers, "Oh, sorry. May I have a burger and fries?"
A blonde, a brunet and a red head were running from the cops when they came upon three empty sacks laying in front of a closed store.
"Let's hide in these and the cops won't find us!" said the red head, and they each dove into the sacks.
The brunet hid in one that said CAT.
The red head hid in one that said DOG, and the blonde hid in one that said POTATOS.
When the cops came by, they saw the bags and said: "Maybe they're in these sacks. Kick one of them." to the other.
The other cop kicked the bag the brunet was in that said CAT and she said: "Meow!".
So the cop kicked the second bag with the red head that said DOG. She said once kicked: "Woof!".
So the cop moved on to the final sack that said POTATOS and kicked it.
The blonde cried out: "Potatos!"
Charlie Sheen winning?
Chuck Norris says "I think not."
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What do you call a cow that doesn't give milk?
A milk dud.
Apple, Microsoft and Sony, among others, strive to invent the most cool device to please Chuck Norris, the fail all the time.
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Q: What do you call cattle with a sense of humor?
A: Laughing stock.
The only mark ever made on Chuck Norris is his birth mark.
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