This antique pocket watch has been in my family for generations.
It’s true.
My grandfather sold me it on his deathbed.
What do you call a lion wearing a cravat and a flower in its mane?
A dandy lion.
Teacher: "Name five things that contain milk."
Pupil: "Butter, cheese, ice cream … and two cows."
Chuck Norris can check out books from the Library of Congress.
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If you want a list of Chuck Norri's enemies, just check the extinct species list.
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What is the golden rule for cows?
Do unto udders as you would have udders do to you.
Chuck Norris uses 8'x10' sheets of plywood as toilet paper.
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The Terminator said, "I'll be back" because he saw Chuck Norris was coming.
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How can you tell when a skunk is angry?
It raises a stink.
It's 4:04.
Do you know where your auditor is?
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