Q: What do u do when your sitting in the dark and your TV starts to float?
A: You turn on the lights and shoot the black people stealing it.
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Q: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
A: A teacher.
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A sloth named Herman is walking through the forest one day.
A gang of snails approach him and beat him up.
He is left at the bottom of a tree with several cuts and bruises.
Several hours later he gathers up enough strength to go to a local police station.
Herman walks into the Sergeant's office.
"What happened to you? the officer asks.
"A gang of snails beat me up," Herman replied.
"Can you describe what they looked like?"
"I don't know," the sloth says.
"It all happened so fast."
I never thought that the Internet was very useful, but now I've changed my mind.
Let's hope your new one works better than the one you had before.
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What's the warmest organ in a dead woman's body?
My dick.
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Q: How many Anglicans or Catholics does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They always use candles.
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Q: What do you call a group of 8 hobbits
A: Hobbyte.
A guy goes in for a job interview and sits down with the boss.
The boss asks him, "What do you think is your worst quality?"
The man says "I'm probably too honest."
The boss says, "That's not a bad thing, I think being honest is a good quality."
The man replies, "I don't give a shttp://unijokes.com/admin/h*t what you think!"
Chuck Norris can check his facebook on a typewriter.
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What's the last thing that goes through your mind when you fight Chuck Norris?
His foot.
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