Yo mamas teeth are so yellow she helped Dorothy get to the emerald city.
*Me when I turn 18*
Parents: Do this.
Me: Dobby has no master. Dobby is a free elf.
What did the computer do at lunchtime?
Had a byte!
Grandmother is so stupid, she’s gone on the pill because she doesn’t want any more grandchildren.
Install the Blue Screen of Death screen-saver on someone's computer.
Vote:
One elf said to another elf, "We had Grandma for Christmas dinner".
And the other elf said, "Really? We had turkey!"
There are 5 birds in a tree.
A hunter shoots 2 of them dead.
How many birds are left?
2 birds.
The other 3 fly away!
I like black people . . .
. . I used to have some black friends 'till my dad sold them!
Vote:
A wife sending a short message to her husband:
It was just said on the news that they found a hideous corpse with a hollow head, a cigar among ugly rotten teeth and a bottle of liquor in his hand. I'm worried about you!. Please, give me a ring...
Q: You know what would make America great again?
A: If we kept the Mexicans and deported the hipsters.