Chuck Norris has no need to walk. The universe simply moves around him.
When Chuck Norris eats teddy grahams, he craps out grizzly bears.
Chuck Norris can read an eye chart with his eyes closed.
If you want a list of Chuck Norri's enemies, just check the extinct species list.
Chuck Norris uses 8'x10' sheets of plywood as toilet paper.
The Terminator said, "I'll be back" because he saw Chuck Norris was coming.
Q: What does a plumber need to know about his job? A: Sh*t runs downhill and payday is on Friday.
Chuck Norris jumped off a building once. The ground didn't make it.
What is the golden rule for cows? Do unto udders as you would have udders do to you.
Yo momma so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon!