The Terminator said, "I'll be back" because he saw Chuck Norris was coming.
What's the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator? When you take sausage out of the fridge it doesn't fart.
An asp in the grass is a snake, but a grasp in the ass is a goose.
What do tigers wear in bed? Stripey pyjamas.
Chuck Norris jumped off a building once. The ground didn't make it.
What did the slug say as he slipped down the window very fast? How slime flies.
Yo mama's so fat, she walked across the dance-floor...and the band skipped!
Yo momma so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon!
What's yellow, comes from Peru, and is completely unknown? Waterloo Bear, Paddington Bear's forgotten cousin.
Q: What animal rotates at least 200 times after it dies? A: A rotisserie chicken.