Nails wish they were as tough as Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can check out books from the Library of Congress.
Chuck Norris has no need to walk. The universe simply moves around him.
When Chuck Norris eats teddy grahams, he craps out grizzly bears.
Chuck Norris can read an eye chart with his eyes closed.
If you want a list of Chuck Norri's enemies, just check the extinct species list.
Chuck Norris uses 8'x10' sheets of plywood as toilet paper.
The Terminator said, "I'll be back" because he saw Chuck Norris was coming.
Yo momma so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon!
What do you call a lion wearing a cravat and a flower in its mane? A dandy lion.