Chuck Norris can read an eye chart with his eyes closed.
If you want a list of Chuck Norri's enemies, just check the extinct species list.
Chuck Norris uses 8'x10' sheets of plywood as toilet paper.
The Terminator said, "I'll be back" because he saw Chuck Norris was coming.
Q: What does a plumber need to know about his job? A: Sh*t runs downhill and payday is on Friday.
What's the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator? When you take sausage out of the fridge it doesn't fart.
Chuck Norris jumped off a building once. The ground didn't make it.
Yo momma so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon!
What do tigers wear in bed? Stripey pyjamas.
What is slimy and wobbly, tastes of raspberry and lives in the seas? A red jellyfish.