Nails wish they were as tough as Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can check out books from the Library of Congress.
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Chuck Norris has no need to walk.
The universe simply moves around him.
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When Chuck Norris eats teddy grahams, he craps out grizzly bears.
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Chuck Norris can read an eye chart with his eyes closed.
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If you want a list of Chuck Norri's enemies, just check the extinct species list.
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Chuck Norris uses 8'x10' sheets of plywood as toilet paper.
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The Terminator said, "I'll be back" because he saw Chuck Norris was coming.
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It's 4:04.
Do you know where your auditor is?
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Yo momma so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon!