Best jokes ever

Dog rules 1. If I like it, it's mine. 2. If its in my mouth, it's mine. 3. If I can take it from you, it's mine. 4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine. 5. If I'm chewing something up, all the pieces are mine. 6. If its mine, it must never appear to be yours anyway. 7. If it just looks like mine, it's mine. 8. If I saw it first, it's mine. 9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine. 10. If its broken, it's yours.
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More jokes about: animal
Why did I divide sin by tan? Just cos.
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More jokes about: math
Chuck Norris stuffs lockers into bullies!
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More jokes about: blonde
What happened when the soldier went into an enemy bar? He got bombed.
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More jokes about: bar, military
The only difference between nunchucks and the legs of Chuck Norris is that wood eventually breaks.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris
One day Chuck Norris went into Wal Mart. The clerk told him to have a nice day. The next day the clerk was found dead. The police asked Chuck Norris if he killed her and he said yes so they asked him why. He said " Nobody tells Chuck Norris what to do"
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
A client of a hospital where they made brain transplantations asked about the prices. The doctor said, "Well, this Ph.D. brain costs $10,000. This brain belonged to a NASA top scientist and costs $15,000. Here we have a policeman's brain as well. It costs $50,000." The client asked, "What? How's that possible?" The doctor replied, "You see, it's totally unused."
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More jokes about: cop
The more self-killers, the fewer self-killers.
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More jokes about: death, life
When Adam asked Eve out for dinner she replied: "Oh I'd love to, but I haven't a thing to wear."
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More jokes about: god, love, women
Yo momma’s so fat, she has to use a lawn chair instead of a Thigh Master.
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More jokes about: Yo mama