Chuck Norris has no need to walk.
The universe simply moves around him.
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When Chuck Norris eats teddy grahams, he craps out grizzly bears.
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Chuck Norris can read an eye chart with his eyes closed.
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"May I buy half a rabbit?"
"No, we don't split hares."
If you want a list of Chuck Norri's enemies, just check the extinct species list.
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Chuck Norris uses 8'x10' sheets of plywood as toilet paper.
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The Terminator said, "I'll be back" because he saw Chuck Norris was coming.
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What's the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator?
When you take sausage out of the fridge it doesn't fart.
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Chuck Norris jumped off a building once.
The ground didn't make it.
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Yo momma so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon!