Why did the black guy cross the road?
Who the fuck cares, why is he out of the cotton field?
Vote:
A woman came home to find her retired husband waving a rolled up newspaper round his head.
'What are you doing dear?'
'Swatting flies - I got 3 males and 2 females'
'How do you know what sex they were?'
The man very confidently replied, "Easy - 3 were on the beer and 2 were on the phone."
Host migration is Chuck Norris pausing multiplayer.
Vote:
A man hires a taxi to take him to court for his bankruptcy trial.
When they arrive he says to the driver, ‘Well, I suppose you might as well come in too.’
Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest.
Chuck Norris won by 5.
Vote:
My wife has given me a reason to live – revenge.
Yo momma’s so ugly, when she looks in the mirror her reflection ducks.
Q: What's the worst thing you're likely to find in the school cafeteria?
A: The Food!
Q: Why did the blonde have trouble in the ladies' room?
A: She is not used to pulling her own pants down.
How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
Two.
One to change it and one to keep interrupting by standing up and shouting "Objection!"