Chuck Norris has no need to walk. The universe simply moves around him.
When Chuck Norris eats teddy grahams, he craps out grizzly bears.
Chuck Norris can read an eye chart with his eyes closed.
"May I buy half a rabbit?" "No, we don't split hares."
If you want a list of Chuck Norri's enemies, just check the extinct species list.
Chuck Norris uses 8'x10' sheets of plywood as toilet paper.
The Terminator said, "I'll be back" because he saw Chuck Norris was coming.
What's the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator? When you take sausage out of the fridge it doesn't fart.
Chuck Norris jumped off a building once. The ground didn't make it.
Yo momma so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon!