Joke #9712

Each hair on Chuck Norris' beard holds the soul of a victim.
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Chuck Norris knows how to kill you in more ways than you know how to die.
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Chuck Norris can won the winter Olympics... In the summer.
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Chuck Norris looks at IEDs and the trigger man blows up.
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The two thousand member Catholic church was filled to overflowing capacity one Sunday morning. The priest was ready to start the Mass when two men, dressed in long black coats and black hats entered thru the rear of the church. One of the two men walked to the middle of the church while the other stayed at the back of the church. They both then reached under their coats and withdrew automatic weapons. The one in the middle announced, "Everyone willing to take a bullet for Jesus stay in your seats!" Naturally, the pews emptied, followed by the choir. The deacons ran out the door, followed by the choir director and the alter boy. After a few moments, there were about twenty people left sitting in the church. The priest was holding steady in the pulpit. The men put their weapons away and said, gently, "All right, Father, the hypocrites are gone now. You may begin the Mass."
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Chuck Norris can blow smoke rings, but also smoke squares. Actually he can also blow your face.
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Chuck norris made medusa turn into stone.
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Chuck Norris had never escape from jail. Jail escapes from Chuck Norris.
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A horror movie is Chuck's comedy.
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Chuck Norris can win a Grammy from coughing.
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Chuck Norris can one hit kill a creeper in Minecraft... With a stick.
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