Each hair on Chuck Norris' beard holds the soul of a victim.
Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
When Chuck Norris was kidnapped by aliens he did experiments on them.
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris
Revenge is a dish best served...by Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does not need to freeze water to make ice, he just stares at water and scares it stiff.
The best part of waking up is not the Folgers in your cup, it's knowing that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep.
Chuck Norris can hear sign language.
When Chuck lit a match earth saw the sun for the first time!
Chuck Norris can speak Spanish in three different languages.
Chuck Norris made Ellen Degeneres straight.