What do you call a big white bear with a hole in his middle? A polo bear.
In America, Chuck Norris finds you But in Soviet Russia, you find Chuck Norris.
What do you get from a cowmedian? Cream of Wit.
Chinese and American are in a plane. Suddenly, Chinese puts his shoes off and American is angry. After some time, he goes to buy a coke, but Chinese says that he'll do it. While he's gone, American spits into his shoes. Chinese gets back and American drinks his coke. That repeats a couple of times,and after the flight American admits, "I spitted in your shoes, sorry." Chinese answers, "That's how we do it. We spit in each others shoes, we piss into each others cokes..."
‘A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.’ Bob Hope
Q: What is a sheep's favorite sport? A: Baaasket baaall!
Q: Where do blondes go to meet their relatives? A: The vegetable garden.
Why do you never see zebras or antelopes at Victoria Station? Because it's a mane-lion station.
How does herpes leave the hospital? On crotches.
UV rays are caused by Chuck Norris' smiles.