A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are stranded in the desert.
A genie appears and gives each of them one wish.
The redhead says " I wish I could fly" and flys away.
The brunette says "I wish I was home" and teleports home.
The blonde steps up, sighs, and says " I wish my friends were back.
Q. What do frogs do with paper?
A. Rip-it!
Where are you going for vacation this year?
I checked my budget and decided that I didn't get tired.
Chuck Norris got swept over Niagara Falls...
He liked it so much, he swam back up and did it again.
Vote:
Yo mama so fat that when god said let there be light.
When god saw her he said let there be darkness.
Once a teacher asked one of her students to memorize the numbers from 1-10.
And that night when he was memorizing he saw his mother drinking 7up, so the next day the teacher asked the student to say the numbers that he memorized so he replied," 1-2-3-4-5-6-8-9-10".
The teacher was confused so she asked the student," Where is the 7" so he said," my mom drank it last night!"
Q: Why did the tree go to the dentist?
A: To get a root canal.
You don't have to wait until midnight to see my balls drop.
Using only a black king, Chuck Norris defeated the world-champion grand-master in chess.
Vote:
Chuck Norris doesn't break bricks.
They fold under pressure.
Vote: