Best jokes ever

Q: Why do Retirees smile all the time? A: Because they can't hear a word you're saying!
Vote: has 48.37 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, old people, time
Q: What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose? A: Full.
Vote: has 48.30 % from 65 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
Q: How do you know if your baby is dead? A: Your 3-year-old daughter has put on allot of weight in the last day or two.
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dead baby, morbid, time
Your momma is so ugly she made One Direction go another direction.
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Yo mama
A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks. After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, then orders the bartender to prepare another double martini. After he finishes that it, he again peeks inside his shirt pocket and orders the bartender to bring another double martini. The bartender says, "Look, buddy, I'll bring ya' martinis all night long - but you gotta tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order a refill." The customer replies, "I'm peeking at a photo of my wife. When she starts to look good, I know it's time to go home."
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, bar, bartender, beauty, business
Jose approaches the Mexican border on his bicycle. Hanging from his shoulders he has two large, bulky bags. The border patrol guard stops him and says,"Hey mister what ya got in those bags?" "Just sand," replied Jose.
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
Why did God give women legs? So they don't leave a trail like a slug.
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting
After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. It was more "humane".
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, political
Where did the mooron take the baby cow to eat? To the calf-ateria.
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
I wouldn’t say that inflation is making my life difficult, but I’m now starving on an income I used to dream about.
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money