I fell in love with my wife at second sight.
The first time I didn’t know she had money.
Q: What's the difference between your wife and your job?
A: After 10 years the job still sucks.
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Boy while kissing his girlfriend: "Thank u baby... For give me your chewing gum.."
Girl says, "This is not chewing gum my love. I’m suffering from cough!"
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This eighty year old couple were celebrating their 60th anniversary and the wife says to her husband, " Honey lets get stark naked and sit at the dinning table and eat our dinner!"
As they sat at the dinning table the wife says, "Honey I am beginning to get very hot and very aroused!"
The husband says, " That is because you have your tits in the soup!"
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Q: What has 2 arms, 3 legs, and 4 feet?
A: The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
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Hey! I don't have a mom, me and my dad share yours.
Chuck Norris has never received an electricity bill, he powers everything with his rage
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Bruce Wayne first tried wearing a Chuck Norris mask to inspire fear, until he saw himself in the mirror.
He immediately changed to the Batman
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One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked the class for a show of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice.
First, she called on Little Lisa, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."
"Very good, Lisa," replied the teacher. She then called on Little Tommy.
"My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully," he said.
"Excellent, Michael!"
Then, the teacher called on Little Johnny...
Last night, during supper, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said, Beautiful, just fucking beautiful!"
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Joke has 48.93 % from 132 votes. More jokes about: beauty, communication, family, little Johnny, teacher
A wife catches her husband masturbating under the shower and approaches him.
The husband: Oh dear, it was so dirty that I had to rub it so hard... it almost hurts!