Phone talk: "Is your boss there?" "No, he left on a trip." "A recovery trip, huh?" "I don’t think so... He took his wife with him!"
Let's walk and talk. You go that way.
Chuck Norris is the only known mammal in history to have an opposable thumb. On his penis.
Q: What do you call a black light? A: A mixed person that shines too bright.
There is 5 niggers in a Cadilac. They drive off the Grand Cannon. What is sad about this story? A Cadilac seats 6 niggers.
My dad died on 9-11. He was the best amateur bomber on Iraq's flight team.
Genuine advert. In New York Newspaper Complete set of Encyclopaedia Britannia. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000 or best offer. No longer needed. Got married last weekend. Wife knows f**king everything.
Two coworkers were talking by the water fountain one guy said, "Today I got through the first step of getting divorced." The second guy replies, "Oh, did you go to Mr. Guggenheim? Everyone goes to him for divorces." The first man replies, "No, I just got married".
Wife comes back from the doctor and says to her husband: Honey, I have a sad news - a gynecologist told me not have sex for a three weeks... Husband: And what the dentist said?
There were three women who always hung their laundry out in the backyard. Two of the women noticed Sophie never had her laundry out on days that it rained. One day, they were all out in the backyard putting their clothes on the line when one of the women said to Sophie, "How come when it rains, your laundry is never out?" "Well," said Sophie, "when I wake up in the morning, I look over at Paul. If his penis is hanging over his right leg, I know I can hang out the wash. If his penis is hanging over his left leg, I know it's going to rain, so I don't hang out the wash." "What if it is pointed straight up?" asked one of the women. "On a day like that, I don't bother with the laundry."