Unicorns are extinct but Chuck Norris used all their horns as toothpicks.
Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger? A: You can park in the handicap zone.
The wind of Chuck Norris's round house kick can be felt from 1600 million miles away.
What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk? An udder failure.
I hear you take milk baths. That's right. Why? I can't find a cow tall enough for a shower.
Two hunters are stalking through the forest when one says to the other that he has to take a dump. "Well, go in the bushes." "What should I use to wipe my ass?" "Use a dollar bill." A few minutes later the hunter steps out of the bushes with s**t all over his hands. "What happened?" asks his friend. "I didn't have a dollar bill, so I used four quarters."
A wife to her husband as they watch their young son playing: "He's such a sensitive child. Let's wait until he's older before we tell him you're an accountant."
Chuck Norris is so cool, ice cubes are jealous...
What's the important part of a horse? The manr part.
Chuck Norris sent Jesus a birthday card on December 25th and it wasn't Jesus birthday. Jesus was to scared to correct Chuck Norris and to this day December 25th is known as Jesus' birthday.