Best jokes ever

Unicorns are extinct but Chuck Norris used all their horns as toothpicks.
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Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger? A: You can park in the handicap zone.
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The wind of Chuck Norris's round house kick can be felt from 1600 million miles away.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk? An udder failure.
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I hear you take milk baths. That's right. Why? I can't find a cow tall enough for a shower.
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Two hunters are stalking through the forest when one says to the other that he has to take a dump. "Well, go in the bushes." "What should I use to wipe my ass?" "Use a dollar bill." A few minutes later the hunter steps out of the bushes with s**t all over his hands. "What happened?" asks his friend. "I didn't have a dollar bill, so I used four quarters."
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A wife to her husband as they watch their young son playing: "He's such a sensitive child. Let's wait until he's older before we tell him you're an accountant."
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Chuck Norris is so cool, ice cubes are jealous...
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What's the important part of a horse? The manr part.
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Chuck Norris sent Jesus a birthday card on December 25th and it wasn't Jesus birthday. Jesus was to scared to correct Chuck Norris and to this day December 25th is known as Jesus' birthday.
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More jokes about: birthday, Chuck Norris, god