An old woman buys herself some bright red crotchless panties and goes home to surprise her husband.
When her husband comes home, she calls him into the bedroom and points to her new panties.
"Hey old timer," she says, "come and get some of this!"
The old man says, "Hell no, woman.
It done ate a hole in your drawers!"
How are vending machines and black men similar?
They don't work but they take your money.
Where are you going for vacation this year?
I checked my budget and decided that I didn't get tired.
A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are stranded in the desert.
A genie appears and gives each of them one wish.
The redhead says " I wish I could fly" and flys away.
The brunette says "I wish I was home" and teleports home.
The blonde steps up, sighs, and says " I wish my friends were back.
Q. What do frogs do with paper?
A. Rip-it!
Using only a black king, Chuck Norris defeated the world-champion grand-master in chess.
Vote:
Chuck Norris doesn't break bricks.
They fold under pressure.
Vote:
When Chuck Norris breaks a sweat... he tries to do it as quickly as possible so as not to hurt it.
Vote:
You don't have to wait until midnight to see my balls drop.
Harry Potter needs 8 movies to seek and destroy Voldemort.
Chuck Norris needs 4 seconds.
Vote: