Chuck Norris got swept over Niagara Falls...
He liked it so much, he swam back up and did it again.
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Yo mama so fat that when god said let there be light.
When god saw her he said let there be darkness.
Once a teacher asked one of her students to memorize the numbers from 1-10.
And that night when he was memorizing he saw his mother drinking 7up, so the next day the teacher asked the student to say the numbers that he memorized so he replied," 1-2-3-4-5-6-8-9-10".
The teacher was confused so she asked the student," Where is the 7" so he said," my mom drank it last night!"
Q: Why did the tree go to the dentist?
A: To get a root canal.
Chuck Norris can get a Black-Jack with one card.
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Harry Potter needs 8 movies to seek and destroy Voldemort.
Chuck Norris needs 4 seconds.
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Using only a black king, Chuck Norris defeated the world-champion grand-master in chess.
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Chuck Norris doesn't break bricks.
They fold under pressure.
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When Chuck Norris breaks a sweat... he tries to do it as quickly as possible so as not to hurt it.
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You don't have to wait until midnight to see my balls drop.