Harry Potter needs 8 movies to seek and destroy Voldemort.
Chuck Norris needs 4 seconds.
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You don't have to wait until midnight to see my balls drop.
Using only a black king, Chuck Norris defeated the world-champion grand-master in chess.
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Chuck Norris doesn't break bricks.
They fold under pressure.
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When Chuck Norris breaks a sweat... he tries to do it as quickly as possible so as not to hurt it.
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I fell in love with my wife at second sight.
The first time I didn’t know she had money.
Q: What's the difference between your wife and your job?
A: After 10 years the job still sucks.
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Your momma's pussy is so hairy, when your brother was born he died of rugburn.
Q: How do you piss off a white person?
A: Call him a racist.
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This eighty year old couple were celebrating their 60th anniversary and the wife says to her husband, " Honey lets get stark naked and sit at the dinning table and eat our dinner!"
As they sat at the dinning table the wife says, "Honey I am beginning to get very hot and very aroused!"
The husband says, " That is because you have your tits in the soup!"
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