Q: What do blondes eat to increase their breast size? A: Silicone chips.
Chuck Norris does not skip stones... he skips sheets of drywall.
Cannibal Son: Mom, I don't like my brother anymore. Cannibal Mother: You shut up and eat!
What are two things a black man can't get in a fist fight. A black eye, and a swollen lip.
Black Holes are places where parallel universes are hiding from Chuck Norris.
More than anything, Bob wanted to be a cowpoke. Taking pity on him, a rancher decided to hire the lad and give him a chance. "This," he said, showing him a rope, "is a lariat. We use it to catch cows." "I see," said Bob, trying to seem knowledgeable as he examined the lariat. "And what do you use for bait?"
The results of a recent Harris Poll on "what's scarier" forced the Discovery channel to cancel Shark week in lieu of Chuck Norris week.
A Klondike bar would do anything for a Chuck Norris.
I lost my virginity to a retard last night... I wanted my first time to be special.
Why do niggers always have sex on their minds? Because they have pubes on their heads!