Best jokes ever

Bob checked into his hotel room and immediately noticed a dead cockroach on the floor. He called the front desk, asked for the manager and raised a fuss. "Sir, please calm down," the manager replied. "It's dead. It can't bother you now." "The dead one doesn't bother me." Bob said. "It's his pallbearers."
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Why does a chicken coop have 2 doors? Because, if it had 4 doors it would be chicken sedan.
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Chuck Norris can skydive indoors.
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Q: Why do birds fly south in the winter? A: Because it's too far to walk!
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When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.
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Your momma's so fat that when she sits on a penny Lincoln dies once again!!
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A blonde girl walks in the street and sees a banana peel. Sad she was, thinking...damn I will stumble again...!
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Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming? A: Gulp.
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TECH: Hello, Friendly Internet. May I help you? CUSTOMER: Oh, hello young man. I was wondering if you offer online banking? TECH: We're an Internet service provider, ma'am. You can certainly use our service to connect to online banking. CUSTOMER: What do I need to do that? TECH: You just need the modem in your computer. That plugs into a phone jack. Sign up for an account, and sign up for online banking with your bank. CUSTOMER: But where does the money come out? TECH: I'm not sure I understand? CUSTOMER: You know...Does the money come out from that slot on the computer?
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Your mom is so stupid she tried to wake up a sleeping bag.
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