A Klondike bar would do anything for a Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris gets angry, forests explode from their own boiling sap. When Chuck Norris laughs, flowers bloom and butterflies hatch.
Chuck Norris doesn't make typos. Words simply stutter in his presence.
Charlie Sheen winning? Chuck Norris says "I think not."
When Chuck Norris is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people. He walks through them
Chuck Norris once encountered the men in black and he still remembers it.
Chuck Norris watched the entire Lord of the Rings without blinking.
John: How old are you? Peter: Hmmm..I'm 7 John: You know what, when I was your age, I was also 7.
More than anything, Bob wanted to be a cowpoke. Taking pity on him, a rancher decided to hire the lad and give him a chance. "This," he said, showing him a rope, "is a lariat. We use it to catch cows." "I see," said Bob, trying to seem knowledgeable as he examined the lariat. "And what do you use for bait?"