There are three men on a desert island: Genius, Smart, and Idiot.
Genius has concluded that at least one man must swim to shore and get help.
Genius volunteered himself, as he is the most likely to get remember to get help.
Genius, not being very athletic, swam halfway to safety and then drowned.
Days later, Smart finally realized Genius drowned.
Smart then decided it was his turn to swim and get help.
Idiot agreed because he didn't know what was happening.
Smart, not being very athletic, swam three quarte rs of the way to safety and drowned.
Days later, Idiot decided it must his turn to swim.
He also did not know what his goal was.
Idiot, not having very much intelligence, swam halfway to safety, felt tired, so he swam back to the island he was stranded on.
Two firemen are butt fucking in a smoked filled room.
The fire chief walks in and says "what are you doing?"
Give this man mouth to mouth then one of the firemen says:
"I did how do you think all this shit got started..."
Q:Why did the cow cross the road?
A:To go to the moo-vies.
‘I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.’
Steve Martin
Q: What's the only thing faster than a black man running away with your TV?
A: His son running away with your VCR.
Vote:
Are you a mum?
I am not a dad!
Maybe you could help me with that!
Girl, do you need to get your protein macros up?
Because I'd gladly put my meat inside you.
There is no such things as a tornado.
Just Chuck Norris proving that ballet ain't that hard.
Vote:
Doctor, doctor, should I surf the Internet on an empty stomach?
No, you should do it on a computer.
Vote:
Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence–a life sentence.
Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over, the strings are attached.
Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind.
Marriage is a thing which puts a ring on a woman's finger and two under the man's eyes.
Marriage requires a man to prepare 4 types of "rings":
* The Engagement Ring
* The Wedding Ring
* The Suffe-Ring
* The Endu-Ring