‘If you’re being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire. They’re trained for that.’
Yo' Mama is so flat, the last time she felt a breast was in a KFC bucket.
Yo' Mama is so fat, yo' daddy needs a Sherpa to help get him on top.
In honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be "Norrisized".
Yo' Mama is like a bus: she's big, she stinks, and it's only a dollar to ride.
Yo' Mama is so ugly, when I walked past your fence, she came out barking.
Q: Why did God make snakes just before lawyers? A: To practice.
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she called the police to report a suspicious looking person lurking in her mirror.
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she smashed open her TV hoping to find a TV dinner.
What’s the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of shit? The bucket.