Chuck Norris can eat food while his mouth is closed.
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Yo mama so stupid... she died of starvation in a grocery store.
Q: What does a dentist do on a roller coaster?
A: He braces himself.
Ozzy Osbourne once snorted a line of ants.
Chuck Norris once snorted a line of bricks.
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The light at the end of the tunnel is actually Chuck Norris holding a flashlight.
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What do you give a deer with an upset stomach?
Elkaseltzer.
Chuck Norris solved Unsolved Mysteries.
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Why was the cannibal fined by the judge?
He was caught poaching.
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How did Barack propose to Michelle?
He got on one knee, pulled out a ring, and said "I don't wanna be obamaself."
Q: What is it called when a soldier slips into a fox hole?
A: Bestiality