Chuck Norris is the reason why This Little Piggy cried wee wee wee all the way home.
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When Chuck Norris walks into a room, the mice jump on chairs.
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When Chuck Norris laughs he busts your gut.
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Chuck Norris can eat food while his mouth is closed.
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Yo mama so stupid... she died of starvation in a grocery store.
Q: What does a dentist do on a roller coaster?
A: He braces himself.
Q: What is it called when a soldier slips into a fox hole?
A: Bestiality
My husband, who uses a wheelchair, showed up at his eye doctor for an appointment.
The receptionist checked the schedule, then said, "The nurse will call you in a moment. Have a seat."
He smiled. "Done."
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Men, don’t buy expensive ‘ribbed’ condoms; buy an ordinary one and slip in a handful of frozen peas.
If I had my whole life to live over again, I don’t think I’d have the strength.