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Lawyer’s creed – a man is innocent until proven broke.
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A mouse chanced on a pool of whiskey that was the result of a raid by prohibition-enforcement agents. The mouse had had no previous acquaintance with liquor, but now, being thirsty, it took a sip of the strange fluid, and then retired into its hole to think. After some thought, it returned to the pool, and took a second sip of the whiskey. It then withdrew again to its hole, and thought. Presently, it issued and drew near the pool for the third time. Now, it took a big drink. Nor did it retreat to its hole. Instead, it climbed on a soap box, stood on its hind legs, bristled its whiskers, and squeaked: "Now, bring on your cat!"
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Yo momma’s so stupid, she ordered her sushi well done.
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Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
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Yo momma’s so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead, because she wanted to make up her mind.
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Yo momma’s so stupid, she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
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Yo momma’s so ugly, when she was lying on the beach, the cat tried to bury her.
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Your momma so fat... Her blood type is Ragu.
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Your mom is so stupid she tried to wake up a sleeping bag.
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What do you call 35,000 men with their hands up? "Iraqi Army."
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More jokes about: military