Q:What's the hardest thing about learning to play tennis?
A:Telling your parents that your gay!
Q: What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
A: I want to hold your hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand.
People believe in God. God believe in Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't just bring home the bacon, he brings home the whole pig.
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A Football team was on the field during practice, when to their surprise, a big turkey suddenly walked up to the coach and demanded a tryout. "Are you crazy," hollered the coach, "we don’t give tryouts to turkeys."
Before he knew it the turkey started dashing towards the football and made a fantastic catch.
"That was amazing," exclaimed the coach.
"I have never seen anything like that! How much do you want for a year?"
"Don’t worry about money," said the turkey, "let me just ask you something, does the season go past thanksgiving?"
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The light at the end of the tunnel is actually Chuck Norris holding a flashlight.
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What do you give a deer with an upset stomach?
Elkaseltzer.
Chuck Norris solved Unsolved Mysteries.
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Why was the cannibal fined by the judge?
He was caught poaching.
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Chuck Norris can eat food while his mouth is closed.
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