Chuck Norris is the reason you turn a light on when you enter a room.
Vote:
Teacher: Billy, how do you spell "Crocodile"?
Billy: ‘K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
Teacher: No, that's wrong
Billy: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!
Yo mama is so poor, I saw her kicking a can down the street and I asked her, "What are you doing?" and she said, "Moving".
Q: What do you call a holy redneck with absolutely no family?
A: The Sole inbred.
Q: What is it called when a soldier slips into a fox hole?
A: Bestiality
My husband, who uses a wheelchair, showed up at his eye doctor for an appointment.
The receptionist checked the schedule, then said, "The nurse will call you in a moment. Have a seat."
He smiled. "Done."
Men, don’t buy expensive ‘ribbed’ condoms; buy an ordinary one and slip in a handful of frozen peas.
If I had my whole life to live over again, I don’t think I’d have the strength.
A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.
Vote:
Why don’t some teachers like to break wind in public?
Because they’re private tooters.