A large construction company sent a party in charge of finding workers all over the world in the very rural areas. They sucessfully obtained a dozen men and decided to fly them back to the construction site immidately. The men were very excited and could only speak of doin the job. Suddenly the piolot flying the plane encountered some difficulties and very safely landed the plane in the desert. Unknowingly to the men they thought they reached on the site, so they opened the door and all they could see was sand all around. Then one of the men shouted out in fear, "Let`s get the f**k out of here before the cement comes."
The entire movie of "Anaconda" was recorded inside Chuck Norris' pants.
In India, cows wait until Chuck Norris crosses the street.
Chuck Norris’ PC doesn’t have a Recycle bin – because when Chuck Norris deletes something, there’s no chance of it coming back.
Two chess players were in a hotel lobby, bragging to each other about their recent victories. The manager comes over, "Could you go to your rooms now, please?" "Why?!" "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
More than anything, Bob wanted to be a cowpoke. Taking pity on him, a rancher decided to hire the lad and give him a chance. "This," he said, showing him a rope, "is a lariat. We use it to catch cows." "I see," said Bob, trying to seem knowledgeable as he examined the lariat. "And what do you use for bait?"
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she thought Meow Mix was a rap CD for cats.
After Chuck Norris sweats the sweat evaporates into the sky and forms what we call lightning.
The results of a recent Harris Poll on "what's scarier" forced the Discovery channel to cancel Shark week in lieu of Chuck Norris week.