Q:What's the hardest thing about learning to play tennis?
A:Telling your parents that your gay!
Q: What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
A: I want to hold your hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand.
People believe in God. God believe in Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't just bring home the bacon, he brings home the whole pig.
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A Football team was on the field during practice, when to their surprise, a big turkey suddenly walked up to the coach and demanded a tryout. "Are you crazy," hollered the coach, "we don’t give tryouts to turkeys."
Before he knew it the turkey started dashing towards the football and made a fantastic catch.
"That was amazing," exclaimed the coach.
"I have never seen anything like that! How much do you want for a year?"
"Don’t worry about money," said the turkey, "let me just ask you something, does the season go past thanksgiving?"
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Customer: "Waiter, there’s a fly in my soup."
Waiter: "That’s all right sir, he won’t drink much."
Not even Houdini can escape from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris is the reason why This Little Piggy cried wee wee wee all the way home.
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When Chuck Norris walks into a room, the mice jump on chairs.
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When Chuck Norris laughs he busts your gut.
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