Chuck Norris is the reason you turn a light on when you enter a room.
Nuclear weapons were discovered after a failed attempt to harness the power of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris stared in to the mirror and said, "There can only be one Chuck Norris." Then his reflection cried and walked away.
While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.
Chuck Norris doesn't cry. His eyes sweat.
That recent tsunami was caused when Chuck Norris dropped a pebble into the ocean.
Chuck Norris doesn't have a shadow. His shadow isn't stupid enough to follow him around.
Chuck Norris can bend light with a roundhouse kick.
Chuck Norris doesn't have a Facebook, he has a Fistbook... No one's his friend.
Chuck Norris looks at IEDs and the trigger man blows up.