Best jokes ever

What do nostalgic gynaecologists do? Look up old friends.
Vote:
has 48.18 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: sex
Question: Why do women close their eyes during sex? Answer: They can’t stand seeing a man have a good time.
Vote:
has 48.18 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: sex, time, women
An old woman wanted to travel by bus to the pet cemetery with the remains of her cat. As she boarded the bus, she whispered to the driver, I have a dead pussy. The driver pointed to the woman in the seat behind him and said, "Sit with my wife. You two have a lot in common."
Vote:
has 48.18 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: age, cat, marriage, old people, wife
The sun cannot look directly at Chuck Norris. It must use specialized equipment just to gaze upon his silhouette
Vote:
has 48.18 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
There is a plaque laid next to the remnants of the Titanic which reads, "Only Chuck Norris is unsinkable"
Vote:
has 48.18 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Yo mama so fat all the McDonald's food are gone.
Vote:
has 48.18 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: fat, food, Yo mama
Chuck Norris bit a spider once then it became Spiderman!
Vote:
has 48.18 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
A medical student is driving home on a narrow country road in the middle of the night after his shift in the hospital. The weather is terrible. It's raining cats and dogs. Suddenly a motorbike is screaming by with very high speed. "Jesus Crhist! What an idiot! He will crash if he doesn't slow down!" A few minutes later he spotted in his headlights on the side of the road the torn up motorbike against a big tree. He stopped and quickly jumped out of his car to see in he can give first aid. But it's to late. The biker is already dead. He looked around if there is anyone around. Nobody to see. The student thouhgt "This is the oppertunity to finally obtain a real human eye!" He always carryrna spoon and a glass eye in his pocket for an opperunity like this. He quickly removes the left eye and places the glass eye in the socket. One quick look around and he jumps in his car and races off. The next morning when he wakes up he turned on the tv and watches the news. It said: "Biker found dead on country road with 2 glass eyes."
Vote:
has 48.18 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: doctor, hospital, school, time, travel
Pritam is driving down the Delhi-Amritsar highway when he spots his friend Shankar standing in the middle of a huge field of grass. He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that Shankar is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing. Pritam gets out of the car, walks all the way out to Shankar and asks him, "Excuse me, what are you doing?" Shankar replies, "I'm trying to win a Nobel Prize." "How?" asks Pritam, puzzled. "Well, I heard they give the Noble Prize to people who are outstanding in their field."
Vote:
has 48.18 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: car, communication, driving, friendship, stupid
A boy with a physical disability has just returned from a summer camp. His mum with an astonished face notices a diploma dancing for 1st place at the bottom of the boy's luggage. Mum: "Jimmy, did you dance with a girl?" Boy: "Nouuu." Mum: "Did you dance with a boy then?" Boy: "No, mum." Mum: "So how did you get it?" Boy: "I went to take some tea."
Vote:
has 48.13 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: health, stupid
<<<973974975976
More jokes →
Page 973 of 1429.