Q: Two men are in a car. One of them is a Mexican while the other is black. Who is driving the car?
A: The cops.
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Why was the math textbook so sad?
He had a lot of problems!
Noticing a mistake in St. Peter's roster, God calls Satan; "It seems you accidentally received some of my professionals down there: a teacher, a doctor and a farmer."
"Yeah," Satan replies. "All the more for me!"
God replies, "You better send them up here immediately."
Satan says, "No way. I'm keeping them."
God says, "Send them up here, or I'll sue the horns right off you."
Satan laughs uproariously, "Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"
What leads most people into debt?
Trying to catch up with people who are already there.
What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios?
‘Oh look! Doughnut seeds!’
A feminist walks into a bar that has a sign marked: ‘For Men Only.’
‘I’m sorry, ma’am,’ says the bartender.
‘We only serve men in this place.’
‘That’s OK,’ she says. ‘I’ll take two of them.’
Why can't cinderella get in the basketball team?
Because she keeps running away from the ball.
There were two blondes, and they had just came from a store.
The blonde that owned the mustang had locked her keys in the car.
She was trying to pick the lock when she stoped to rest for a second.
When she sat down, her friend said, "Hurry up, it's starting to rain and the top's down!"
Once a programmer drowned in the sea.
Many Marines where at that time on the beach, but the programmer was shouting "F1 F1" and nobody understood it.
Q. Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A. Breasts don't have eyes.