Best jokes ever

Chuck Norris asked his script writer for more dialogue and the script writer said "Chuck you mean more grunting?"

The Chuck Norris military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Chuck Norris could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn.

Bruce lee does not drink water, he drinks WATAAAA.

A blonde was having sharp pains in her side. The doctor examined her and said, "You have acute appendicitis." The blond yelled at the doctor... "A cute appendicitis! I came here to get medical help, not get a stupid compliment!"

Games for when we are older: 1) Sag, You're it. 2) Pin the Toupee on the bald guy. 3) 20 questions shouted into your good ear. 4) Kick the bucket. 5) Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over. 6) Doc Doc Goose. 7) Simon says something incoherent. 8) Hide and go pee. 9) Spin the Bottle of Mylanta. 10) Musical recliners.

The girl says to the guy; "Honest to God, tell me what you think... Can anyone love me?" "Yeah, for sure..." "And then... What are you waiting for...?"

How did the cannibal turn over a new leaf? He became a vegetarian.

What is a cannibal's favorite food? Baked Beings.

Chuck Norris gave Black Ops a thumbs up and people at Microsoft a roundhouse kick in the face. Suck it Microsoft.

This guy walks into a bar with this really great shirt on. The bartender goes, "Where'd you get the great shirt mate?" The man replies, "David Jones." This 2nd guy walks into the bar with really good pants on and the bartender goes "Where'd you get the great pants mate?" The man replies, " David Jones." This 3rd guy walks into the bar with really great shoes and sock on. The bartender goes, "Where'd you get the great shoes and socks mate?" The man replies, "David Jones." Then this 4th guy runs in naked and the bartender goes, "Look Who the hell are you mate?" And the naked guy says, "I'm David Jones!"