In the High Court:
Do you know what you get for false testimony?
Yes, they promised me a Mercedes...
The male worm towards the female worm:
Baby, if you don’t take me as you’re husband, I’m throwing myself to the chickens!
Q. Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A. Breasts don't have eyes.
Q. What do you call a sensitive, intelligent man?
A. An oxymoron.
Why do elephants squirt water through their noses?
If they squirted it through their tails, it'd be very difficult to aim.
A baby snake asked it's mom, "Mommy are we poisonous?"
The mother snake responded, "Yes honey, but why do you want to know?"
The baby snake responded, "Because I just bit myself..."
What leads most people into debt?
Trying to catch up with people who are already there.
What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios?
‘Oh look! Doughnut seeds!’
A feminist walks into a bar that has a sign marked: ‘For Men Only.’
‘I’m sorry, ma’am,’ says the bartender.
‘We only serve men in this place.’
‘That’s OK,’ she says. ‘I’ll take two of them.’
Why can't cinderella get in the basketball team?
Because she keeps running away from the ball.