Chuck Norris was in all the Star Wars movies, he played the force.
Q: How do you wake up Lady gaga? A: Poke her face.
Where do you go if you become ‘at one’ with your computer? Nerdvana.
A: Who sings "Blue Christmas" and makes toy guitars? A: Elfis!
Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God.
What’s the difference between cats and dogs? Dogs have owners, cats have staff.
Randy Johnson can throw a fastball 101mph. Chuck Norris can throw Randy Johnson 101mph.
Q: What do you call a frog who wants to be a cowboy? A: Hoppalong Cassidy.
I have enough money to last me the rest of my life. Unless I buy something.’ Jackie Mason
Chuck Norris once gave a box of his old watches to a group of kids. These kids are now known as the power rangers.