Yo momma’s so fat, when she went to the beach, she was the only one that got a tan.
Don’t spend money having your shirts laundered. Donate them to a charity shop, then when they’ve cleaned them, buy them back.
Chuck Norris doesn’t shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris was a baby he didnt have teddy bears. He had real bears.
Yo mama is so skinny that she eats a nut and thoughts that she’s pregnant...
Lawyer’s creed – a man is innocent until proven broke.
A mouse chanced on a pool of whiskey that was the result of a raid by prohibition-enforcement agents. The mouse had had no previous acquaintance with liquor, but now, being thirsty, it took a sip of the strange fluid, and then retired into its hole to think. After some thought, it returned to the pool, and took a second sip of the whiskey. It then withdrew again to its hole, and thought. Presently, it issued and drew near the pool for the third time. Now, it took a big drink. Nor did it retreat to its hole. Instead, it climbed on a soap box, stood on its hind legs, bristled its whiskers, and squeaked: "Now, bring on your cat!"
Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
Yo momma’s so ugly, when she was lying on the beach, the cat tried to bury her.
Your momma so fat... Her blood type is Ragu.