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Yo momma’s so fat, when she went to the beach, she was the only one that got a tan.
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Don’t spend money having your shirts laundered. Donate them to a charity shop, then when they’ve cleaned them, buy them back.
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Chuck Norris doesn’t shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris was a baby he didnt have teddy bears. He had real bears.
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Yo mama is so skinny that she eats a nut and thoughts that she’s pregnant...
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Lawyer’s creed – a man is innocent until proven broke.
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A mouse chanced on a pool of whiskey that was the result of a raid by prohibition-enforcement agents. The mouse had had no previous acquaintance with liquor, but now, being thirsty, it took a sip of the strange fluid, and then retired into its hole to think. After some thought, it returned to the pool, and took a second sip of the whiskey. It then withdrew again to its hole, and thought. Presently, it issued and drew near the pool for the third time. Now, it took a big drink. Nor did it retreat to its hole. Instead, it climbed on a soap box, stood on its hind legs, bristled its whiskers, and squeaked: "Now, bring on your cat!"
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Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
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Yo momma’s so ugly, when she was lying on the beach, the cat tried to bury her.
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Your momma so fat... Her blood type is Ragu.
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