Husband: What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you? Wife: Turn sideways and look in the mirror.
Two lawyers are walking down the road when they see a beautiful woman walking towards them. ‘What a babe,’ one says. ‘I’d sure like to screw her!’ ‘Really?’ replies the other. ‘Out of what?’
Yo' Mama is so stupid, it took her an hour to cook instant rice.
Dick’s family were very poor – when the wolf came to the door, they ate it.
Why do milking stools only have three legs? 'Cause the cow's got the udder!
Q: What does a plumber need to know about his job? A: Sh*t runs downhill and payday is on Friday.
A Woman asks a Waiter What is this fly doing in my Ice cream? The waiter says, "SHIVERING MADAM".
Chuck norris farted in a ditch and the grand canyon was created.
How many lawyers does it take to stop a moving bus? Never enough.
Yo momma's so stupid when her son said break a leg, she really did.