Q. Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A. Breasts don't have eyes.
Q. What do you call a sensitive, intelligent man?
A. An oxymoron.
Why do elephants squirt water through their noses?
If they squirted it through their tails, it'd be very difficult to aim.
A baby snake asked it's mom, "Mommy are we poisonous?"
The mother snake responded, "Yes honey, but why do you want to know?"
The baby snake responded, "Because I just bit myself..."
A man walked into a bar and ordered martini after martini, each time removing the olives and placing them in a jar.
When the jar was filled with olives and all the drinks consumed, the guy started to leave.
"Excuse me", said a customer, who was puzzled over what the guy had done.
"What was that all about?"
"Nothing", said the guy, "My wife just sent me out for a jar of olives."
In the High Court:
Do you know what you get for false testimony?
Yes, they promised me a Mercedes...
The male worm towards the female worm:
Baby, if you don’t take me as you’re husband, I’m throwing myself to the chickens!
First Caribou: Which bug does amazing motor cycle stunts?
Second Caribou: Evel Boll Weevil.
How can you tell when a skunk is angry?
It raises a stink.
Did you hear about the argumentative skunk?
He always liked to make a stink.