When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet.
Water gets Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris shaves with a hunting knife.
"Shaving" consists of cutting a new mouth-hole every morning.
That's how tough his beard is.
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Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar.
The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.
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If it walks like a duck, talks lidek a duck, and smell like a duck but Chuck Norris says it's a girrafe. It's a damn girrafe!
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Chuck Norris actually died a while back.
Death just can't get the nerve to tell him.
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Hurricanes are really just Chuck Norris breathing into the rain.
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Chuck Norris' jokes don't have punchlines.
They have footprints.
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Chuck Norris made the llama extinct.
Never spit in his face.
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Chuck Norris doesn't eat honey.
He chews bees...
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There are only two things that can cut diamonds: other diamonds, and Chuck Norris.
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You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life?
In reality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.
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