When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet.
Water gets Chuck Norris.
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For fear of Chuck Norris, his shoes tie themselves.
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Chuck Norris eats gummy bears and shits out grizzly bears.
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Chuck Norris's programs can pass the Turing Test by staring at the interrogator.
Hercules strangled two snakes in his crib when he was a baby.
Chuck Norris strangled a grizzly bear moments after birth with his own umbilical cord.
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Chuck Norris doesn't check the time - he decides it.
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Kryptonite is ancient Latin for Chuck Norris
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When Chuck Norris visits Egypt, the sand didn't burn his feet, his feet burnt the sand, hence the discovery of glass.
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Some people wear Superman pajamas.
Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
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When Chuck Norris lifts weights, the weights get stronger.
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Reading Chuck Norris Facts is the same as learning history.
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