When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet.
Water gets Chuck Norris.
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How many push-ups can Chuck Norris do?
All of them.
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Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded.
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Last year Chuck Norris won the prize for best float at the Carnival in Rio simply by walking in the parade wearing his cowboy hat.
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Only Chuck Norris knows a bigger number than infinity, and it's not infinite plus one.
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Two things in life are certain: Death and a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris to Major Tom - Stay there.
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When Chuck Norris asks you to stop mid-sentence, you.
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Chuck Norris doesn't think he's better than everyone, everyone thinks Chuck Norris is better than them.
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Chuck Norris is allowed to draw pictures of Mohammad.
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Right angles used to be called wrong angles until Chuck said, "I don't see anything wrong with them."
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