When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
They once made a "Chuck Norris" brand toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
Chuck Norris doesn't battle, he just allows you to lose.
When Chuck Norris was a kid he taught his parents to stay away from strangers.
The president of the USA lives in the White House. Chuck Norris lives in the Roundhouse.
Rules of fighting: 1) Don't bring a knife to a gun fight. 2) Don't bring a gun to a Chuck Norris fight.
All men are created equal. Equally inferior to Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does not open doors. Tthe doors have the common courtesy to open for him
Chuck Norris can kill with blank bullets.
The Earth was flat until Chuck Norris looked in it's direction...then it rolled up into a ball.
Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.