When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet.
Water gets Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris is the ultimate hide and seek player; no one dares find him.
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Chuck Norris cannot only accelerate beyond the speed of light.
He can also accelerate beyond the speed of dark.
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Chuck Norris cuts off parts of his beard and sells it...we know this as kevlar.
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Chuck Norris can install a 64 bit OS on 32 bit machines.
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Chuck Norris is never late... time is just early.
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Chuck Norris kissed a girl once.
She's still blushing, we call her Sun.
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Chuck Norris doesn't get drunk.
He simply lowers his IQ to yours.
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Even after muting "Walker, Texas Ranger", you can still hear Chuck Norris's victims screaming after getting roundhouse kicked.
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Chuck Norris never swam.
Every time he was about to get in a pool the water ran away in terror!
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Chuck Norris does not have to answer the phone.
His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and translates them into audible sound.
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