Where does an Irish family go on holiday?
A different bar.
A nose walks into a bar and asks for a drink.
The bartender says, "Sorry, I can't serve you. You're already off your face."
Death was created after Chuck Norris was born.
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Water can drown if Chuck Norris stays underwater for too long.
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Chuck Norris once planted a box of Cheerios in his yard, the result was a donut tree.
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Chuck Norris once gave a cop a ticket for speeding.
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The energizer bunny freezes when it sees Chuck Norris.
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Did you hear about the man who won the gold medal at the Olympics?
He had it bronzed.
Yo' Mama is like ass hair: totally useless and full of sh*t.
Yo' Mama is so flat, the last time she felt a breast was in a KFC bucket.