Best jokes ever

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have: the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.
Vote: has 51.12 % from 76 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage
The teacher had given the class an assignment. He stressed the importance of this particular assignment, and that no excuses would be accepted except illness or a death in the immediate family. A smart-ass student pipes up: "What about extreme sexual exhaustion, sir?" The class breaks up laughing, and when they settle down the teacher responds with: "Well, I guess you'll have to learn to write with your other hand."
Vote: has 51.08 % from 60 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, family, school, sex, teacher
Why are blacks afraid of lawn mowers? Because it goes run nigger nigger run.
Vote: has 50.98 % from 87 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people
A man comes home to find his wife packing her bags and asks her where she's going. "To Las Vegas. I found out there are men who will pay me $400 to do what I do to you for free." The man started packing his bags. "Where are you going?" she asked. "I'm going to Las Vegas with you. I want to see how you'll live on $800 a year."
Vote: has 50.97 % from 39 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage
What's faster than a black guy running with a TV? His brother with the DVD player.
Vote: has 50.97 % from 39 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: racist
How did the Vikings send secret messages? By norse code! Why did the knight run about shouting for a tin opneder? He had a bee in his suit of armour! Teacher: Who can tell me where Hadrians Wall is? Pupil: I expect it’s around Hadrian’s garden miss! Why were the early days of history called the dark ages? Because there were so many knights!
Vote: has 50.97 % from 39 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: history, kids
I met a sista once who told me she could tell how good a brotha is in bed simply by the way he opens the door to his apartment. So, I asked her how. She said if that brotha fumbles with the keys, that means he doesn't know what he's doing. If he opens the door too quick, means he's too fast and he's a total waste of time. But if that brotha opens the door with a smooth, controlled movement, that means he's real good in bed. Then she asked me how I open the door to my apartment. I told her, "Honey, I lick the lock first."
Vote: has 50.96 % from 46 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage
An evening of Valentine's Day. A man comes to a drug store: "Good evening!" "Sorry, we are sold out..."
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More jokes about: drug, sex, Valentines day
Question: Why do women have smaller feet than men? Answer: So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.
Vote: has 50.96 % from 46 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women
I know when god becomes angry. When teenage girls get pregnant and their parents exclaim, "Oh god! What have you done?!"
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More jokes about: god, life, teen