The Dead Sea was formerly known as The Living Sea. Until it met Chuck Norris.
An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman are wandering through the desert, hungry and hallucinating, when they come upon a rotting, dead camel. "Well," said the Englishman, "I support the Liverpool football club, so I'll eat the liver." "I support the Hearts club," said the Scotsman, "so I'll eat the heart." "I support Arsenal," said the Irishman, "but I seem to have lost my appetite."
Chuck Norris caught all the 493 Pokemon... With the Yellow version.
Chuck Norris can switch his motorcycle to four-wheel drive.
2012 is the predicted date for the end of the world. The only rational explanation is Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't do cocaine. Cocaine does Chuck Norris.
A brain walks into a bar and says, "Ill have a pint of beer please. "The barman looks at him and says "Sorry, I cant serve you." "Why not?" askes the brain. "Youre already out of your head."
Bruce Wayne first tried wearing a Chuck Norris mask to inspire fear, until he saw himself in the mirror. He immediately changed to the Batman
Chuck Norris has never received an electricity bill, he powers everything with his rage
Two friends were out drinking when suddenly one lurched backward off his barstool and lay motionless on the floor. ‘One thing about Jim,’ his buddy said to the bartender. ‘He knows when to stop.’