Chuck Norris once gave a cop a ticket for speeding.
Researchers once tried to measure Chuck Norris' IQ, but found that numbers don't count that high.
The energizer bunny freezes when it sees Chuck Norris.
Two things in life are certain: Death and a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris.
Q: Why do men take showers instead of baths? A: Pissing in the bath is disgusting.
Did you hear about the man who won the gold medal at the Olympics? He had it bronzed.
Yo' Mama is like ass hair: totally useless and full of sh*t.
Yo' Mama is so flat, the last time she felt a breast was in a KFC bucket.
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she smashed open her TV hoping to find a TV dinner.
Yo' Mama is so fat, when she did a cartwheel, she kicked an angel in the nuts.