Chuck Norris once gave a cop a ticket for speeding.
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Researchers once tried to measure Chuck Norris' IQ, but found that numbers don't count that high.
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The energizer bunny freezes when it sees Chuck Norris.
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Two things in life are certain: Death and a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris.
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Q: Why do men take showers instead of baths?
A: Pissing in the bath is disgusting.
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Did you hear about the man who won the gold medal at the Olympics?
He had it bronzed.
Yo' Mama is like ass hair: totally useless and full of sh*t.
Yo' Mama is so flat, the last time she felt a breast was in a KFC bucket.
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she smashed open her TV hoping to find a TV dinner.
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Yo' Mama is so fat, when she did a cartwheel, she kicked an angel in the nuts.