TEACHER: Why would you paint something black? STUDENT: So it runs faster.
At a rally John McCain was asked if he wore boxers or briefs. He replied, "Depends."
Chuck Norris was in all the Star Wars movies, he played the force.
Lawyer: ‘Now that you have been acquitted, will you tell me truly? Did you steal the car?’ Client: ‘After hearing you in court, I’m beginning to think I didn’t.’
Q: How do you wake up Lady gaga? A: Poke her face.
At recent trade talks the American representative offered to sell sophisticated American telephone technology to the Russians. American : "In the United States, anyone can pick up any phone and dial 9-1-1. This will record the call and connect them with the police." Russian : "In Russia we don't require that you dial anything."
The mouse and the elephant pas together over a bridge, very proud the mouse says: Do you hear how the bridge vibrates under OUR footsteps?
Golfer: The doctor says I can't play golf. Caddy: O! So, he too has played with you?
When you think that you are looking at Chuck Norris' picture, think again... he's looking at you.
An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn’t happen today.