Where does an Irish family go on holiday? A different bar.
A nose walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says, "Sorry, I can't serve you. You're already off your face."
Death was created after Chuck Norris was born.
Water can drown if Chuck Norris stays underwater for too long.
Chuck Norris once planted a box of Cheerios in his yard, the result was a donut tree.
Chuck Norris once gave a cop a ticket for speeding.
The energizer bunny freezes when it sees Chuck Norris.
Did you hear about the man who won the gold medal at the Olympics? He had it bronzed.
Yo' Mama is like ass hair: totally useless and full of sh*t.
Yo' Mama is so flat, the last time she felt a breast was in a KFC bucket.