Voldemort once ran into Chuck Norris.
He is now known as Harry Potter.
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When Chuck Norris gets angry, forests explode from their own boiling sap.
When Chuck Norris laughs, flowers bloom and butterflies hatch.
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All of Chuck Norris's opinions can be proven with science.
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People with Pogonophobia (fear of beards) do not fear Chuck Norris beard.
They are too scared of his entire existance to focus on 1 part.
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What did the customer say to the pet shop assistant after buying a bunny?
Rabbit up nicely, it's a gift.
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Much controversy surrounds Area 51, which is also known as Chuck Norris's playground.
Those flying saucers are similar to our model cars and planes.
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Chuck Norris knows who's buried in Grant's Tomb.
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Chuck Norris can access the internet from a walkie talkie.
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Chuck Norris can't fly, gravity just looks the other way when he leaves the ground.
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A doctor at an insane asylum decided to take his patients to a baseball game.
For weeks in advance, he coached his patients to respond to his commands.
When the day of the game arrived.
Everything went quite well.
As the National Anthem started, the doctor yelled, "Up Nuts", and the patients complied by standing up.
After the anthem, he yelled, "Down Nuts", and they all sat back down in their seats.
After a home run was hit, the doctor yelled, "Cheer Nuts."
They all broke out into applause and cheered.
When the umpire made a particularly bad call against the star of the home team, the Doctor yelled, "Booooo Nuts" and they all started booing and cat calling.
Comfortable with their response, the doctor decided to go get a beer and a hot dog, leaving his assistant in charge.
When he turned, there was a riot in progress.
Finding his tizzied assistant, the doctor asked, "What in the world happened?"
The assistant replied, "Well everything was going just fine until this guy walked by and yelled, 'peanuts'".