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Q: Why are hangovers better than women? A: Hangovers will go away.
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More jokes about: women
Q: Did you hear they finally made a device that makes cars run 95% quieter? A: Yeah, it fits right over her mouth.
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More jokes about: women
A prominent lawyer calls a plumber to fix a leak in his shower. After about 25 minutes the plumber hands him a bill for $200.00. The lawyer, enraged, says: “I’m a famous trial lawyer, and even I don’t make that kind of money for 25 minutes work!” “Neither did I when I was a lawyer”, says the plumber.
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More jokes about: lawyer, money, time
The snake was punished because Chuck Norris tempted it to ate the apple.
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Lisa needs brain surgery and figures its easier to buy a new brain. She asks the doctor what he has on sale. "Well you're in luck I have two in stock, a man's brain for $1000, and a woman's for $100." Surprised she asks why the price difference? "Generally women brains run cheaper because they come to us used!"
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A policeman spots a woman driving and knitting at the same time. Driving up beside her, he shouts out the window, "Pull over!" "No," she shouts back, "a pair of socks!"
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More jokes about: cop, driving, women
What do cows like to listen to? Moo-sic.
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To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
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Yo momma is so poor the ducks throw bread at her.
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More jokes about: duck, money, Yo mama
What do cows usually fly around in? Helicowpters and Bulloons.
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More jokes about: animal, travel