Yo mama so fat, when your dad tried eating your mom's pussy his head stuck in.
Chuck Norris can't fly, gravity just looks the other way when he leaves the ground.
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2012 is the predicted date for the end of the world.
The only rational explanation is Chuck Norris.
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Lactose is Chuck Norris intolerant.
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Q: Why did the married man sell his complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica?
A: He didn't need them any longer his damn wife knows everything.
Q: What's the easiest way to a persons heart?
A: Chuck Norris' fist
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After Chuck Norris sweats the sweat evaporates into the sky and forms what we call lightning.
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There are only two things that can cut diamonds: other diamonds, and Chuck Norris.
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Voldemort once ran into Chuck Norris.
He is now known as Harry Potter.
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When Chuck Norris gets angry, forests explode from their own boiling sap.
When Chuck Norris laughs, flowers bloom and butterflies hatch.
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