Best jokes ever

A woman goes into an antique shop and says to the owner, "when I was in here last week I saw a big mug with a flat head that holds a lot of beer. I’d like to buy it." "Sorry," replied the owner, "but I can’t sell you that." "Why not" asked the customer? "Because that’s my husband."
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has 48.02 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: beer, husband, marriage
Barbwire wants a tatoo of Chuck Norris.
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has 48.02 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Jamaica has named Usain Bolt its Sportsman of the Year. In related news, the island has also made Michael Phelps an honorary citizen.
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has 48.02 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: athlete, celebrity, ethnic, sport
"Mom, where do tampons go?" "Where the babies come from, darling." "In a stork?
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has 48.02 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: dirty, kids, stupid
Why should you only put 239 beans in bean soup? Cuz one more will make it "too farty!"
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has 48.02 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, fart, food
Once a teacher asked one of her students to memorize the numbers from 1-10. And that night when he was memorizing he saw his mother drinking 7up, so the next day the teacher asked the student to say the numbers that he memorized so he replied," 1-2-3-4-5-6-8-9-10". The teacher was confused so she asked the student," Where is the 7" so he said," my mom drank it last night!"
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has 48.02 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: family, math, memory, teacher
Yo mama so fat when she went swimming, The Japanese harpooned her and took her back to Japan to sell her blubber.
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has 48.02 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: ethnic, fat, sport, Yo mama
I think the best analogy for where we are right now is that America is Elvis Presley - the most beautiful, talented, rebellious nation in the history of Earth. And now, you're in your Vegas years. You've squeezed yourself into a white jumpsuit, you're wheezing your way through 'Love Me Tender' and you might be about to pass away bloated on the toilet. But you're still the King.
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has 48.02 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: ethnic, geography, music
Q: What do you call a blonde chick standing on her head? A: A brunette.
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has 48.02 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: blonde, women
Chuck Norris does not have to answer the phone. His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and translates them into audible sound.
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has 48.02 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, phone, technology
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