Lactose is Chuck Norris intolerant.
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Q: Why did the married man sell his complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica?
A: He didn't need them any longer his damn wife knows everything.
Q: What's the easiest way to a persons heart?
A: Chuck Norris' fist
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After Chuck Norris sweats the sweat evaporates into the sky and forms what we call lightning.
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There are only two things that can cut diamonds: other diamonds, and Chuck Norris.
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Voldemort once ran into Chuck Norris.
He is now known as Harry Potter.
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When Chuck Norris gets angry, forests explode from their own boiling sap.
When Chuck Norris laughs, flowers bloom and butterflies hatch.
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All of Chuck Norris's opinions can be proven with science.
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People with Pogonophobia (fear of beards) do not fear Chuck Norris beard.
They are too scared of his entire existance to focus on 1 part.
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What did the customer say to the pet shop assistant after buying a bunny?
Rabbit up nicely, it's a gift.
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