Lactose is Chuck Norris intolerant.
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Everybody knows that Chuck Norris can't shoot a bow even though he got 5 bullseyes in a row.
The only reason he got the bullseye is that his arrows know better than to miss.
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The real reason that Oprah is ending her show on television is that Chuck phoned and said "That's enough!"
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The Statue of Liberty is alive, but Chuck Norris told her not to move.
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Chuck Norris is the only person who can kick someone in the back of the face.
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Chuck norris was born on May 6 1945.
De Nazi surrenderd on May 7 1945.
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Chuck Norris hit you tomorrow, is going to hit you yesterday, and you're now dead.
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One day Chuck Norris went into Wal Mart.
The clerk told him to have a nice day.
The next day the clerk was found dead.
The police asked Chuck Norris if he killed her and he said yes so they asked him why.
He said " Nobody tells Chuck Norris what to do"
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When Chuck Norris opens a bag of Doritos, it's fucking full!
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When Chuck Norris donates blood, he gives twenty gallons.
None of it is his own.
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Chuck Norris has never used a question mark in his life.
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