Lactose is Chuck Norris intolerant.
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He, who laughs last, laughs best.
He who laughs at Chuck Norris … dies.
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Chuck Norris can fly a submarine.
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Chuck Norris doesn't run out of bullets, bullets run out of Norrises.
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One day Chuck Norris went into Wal Mart.
The clerk told him to have a nice day.
The next day the clerk was found dead.
The police asked Chuck Norris if he killed her and he said yes so they asked him why.
He said " Nobody tells Chuck Norris what to do"
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When Chuck Norris asks you to stop mid-sentence, you.
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When Chuck Norris rides into the sunset, the sun is actually running from him.
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Chuck Norris doesn't go to therapy, therapy goes to Chuck Norris.
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When the fire department catches fire, they call Chuck Norris.
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James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator.
However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
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Chuck Norris does not wear a seatbelt and reclines his seat before takeoff and landing on an airplane because he can.
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