Lactose is Chuck Norris intolerant.
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In fourth grade, a teacher edited Chuck Norris's essay.
Big mistake.
You don't edit Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris edits you... with his fist.
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I named my dog Chuck Norris, but I couldn't train him because no one tells Chuck Norris what to do.
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Do you know why Chuck Norris doesn't have a shadow?
You just don't follow him that close!
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Chuck Norris doesn’t shave; he kicks himself in the face.
The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
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When Bruce Banner's angry he turn into the Hulk.
When the Hulk's angry he turns into Chuck Norris
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When Chuck Norris steps on a crack he breaks another persons mother's back.
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Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
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Who would win in a fight between a bear and a lion?
Answer - neither, Chuck Norris would beat them both with a single round-house-kick.
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Chuck Norris is the ghost in paranormal activity.
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Chuck Norris can eat rice with one chop stick.
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