Lactose is Chuck Norris intolerant.
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The best part of waking up is not the Folgers in your cup, it's knowing that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep.
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When Chuck Norris was kidnapped by aliens he did experiments on them.
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When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet.
Water gets Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't drive a car he walks.
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Chuck Norris' free advice is worth a fortune.
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You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life?
In reality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.
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When Chuck Norris plays Nazi Zombies it's the Zombies who build barriers.
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The chemical formula for the highly toxic cyanide ion is CN-.
These are also Chuck Norris' initials.
This is not a coincidence.
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With just two toothpicks, a lightbulb, and his RoundHouse Kick, Chuck Norris can override the Pentagon's computer system.
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Most kids pee their name into snow...
Chuck Norris pisses his in concreate...
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