Lactose is Chuck Norris intolerant.
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Chuck Norris doesn't run out of bullets, bullets run out of Norrises.
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The reason Chuck Norris has never been a doctor on House is because, he would find the diagnosis in one second.
It'd always be Norris Anger Disease.
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The only reason world peace doesn't exist is because Chuck Norris doesn't feel like bringing peace to the whole world.
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Chuck Norris does not cleanse himself with your everyday shower.
He uses Meteor Showers.
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You know why Chuck Norris is always on top during sex?
Because he never fucks up.
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Chuck Norris uses 8'x10' sheets of plywood as toilet paper.
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Scientists did not in fact slipt the atom, Chuck Norris just roundhouse kicked it.
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During vacation my front door's open and I left a note saying "This house is protected by Chuck Norris 3 days a week you guess which 3."
All was good.
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Chuck Norris is the only weapon allowed through airport security
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If there's something strange...
In your neighborhood... Who ya gonna call?...
CHUCK NORRIS!
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