The neighbor from below told me that If I flood him once again, he will rape me.
So I turn on the water. I sit and wait.
One day, little Suzie was strolling around the house and just happened to pass by her sister’s room.
She heard her sister say on the phone to her boy friend.
“Your such an as***!” and she hung up.
Suzie asked what as*** had meant and her sister sayin
“Uh… it means… uhh.. boyfriend!”.
Suzie is delighted to hear a new nice word.
Then,She was walking past the bathroom where her dad was shaving.
Her dad had cut himself and yelled “SHIT!”
Then turniing around saw little Suzie ask what shit means.
Dad, being quite shocked answered
“It uhh.. It.. It means shaving cream.”
Then, Suzie walked downstairs to help her mom with the dinner turkey.
Suzie’s dad’s boss was coming to dinner tonight.
When Suzie went in the kitchen, her mom accidently cut herself yelled”F***k!”.
Suzie asked what f***k meant and mom replied ” it..it..it uummm…it means cut… yeah, cut.”
Just as mom said that, the doorbell rang and asked Suzie to go and get it.
When Suzie opened the door, her dad’s boss was standing there.
Boss asked” Well hello young lady! Can I ask where your family is?
”Then Suzie said” Well, my sister’s upstairs talking to her as*** on the phone, my dad’s in the bathroom wiping the shit off his face and my mom’s in the kitchen f***g the turkey!”
Q: Why are Christmas trees better than Men?
A: Even the small ones give satisfaction.
Q: Once there was the tooth fairy, Santa Claus, Easter bunny, a smart blonde and a dumb blonde they were walking down the road when they saw a $100 dollars bill who gets it??
A: No one the first four doesn't exist and the other blonde thought it was a gum wrapper!
Yo mama is stupid, she put a book in her friend face and named facebook.
Chuck Norris roundhoused a guy so hard he starved to death before he stopped sliding.
Vote:
What is the shortest mathematicians joke?
Let epsilon be smaller than zero.
Q: What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose?
A: Full.
There are a hundred holes in the body of a woman; one of them would be filled with a penis and 99 others could be filled with money.
Girl: Hey wanna know what gets my pussy wet?
Boy: what? ;)
Girl: Toilet water when I shit out a small whale.