The new Marine Captain was assigned to a recon company in a remote post in the desert. During his first inspection, he noticed a camel hitched up behind the mess tent. He asks the First Sergeant why the camel is kept there. Well, sir," is the reply, "as you know, there are 250 men here and no women. And sir, sometimes the men have ... urges. That's why we have the camel,sir." "The Captain says, "I can't say that I condone this, but I understand about urges, so the camel can stay." About a month later, the Captain starts having a real problem with his own urges, and asks the First Sergeant to bring the camel to his tent . Putting a stool behind the camel, the Captain stands on it, pulls down his pants, and has sex with the camel. When he is done, he asks the First Sergeant, "Is that how the men do it?" "No sir," the First Sergeant replies. "They usually just ride the camel into town."
Q: What happens when you feed gun powder to a chicken? A: Egg-splosion
When is a lion not a lion? When he turns into his cage.
Q: Did you hear about the couple that "96ed?" A: After they "69ed" they rolled over and sh*t in each other's hair.
My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.
What do sick cannibals have for breakfast? Vitamin bills!
Why is it so sad that Steve Jobs died? Everyone at Apple are crying their's out!
There is the story of a preacher who got up one Sunday and announced to his congregation: "I have good news and bad news. The good news is, we have enough money to pay for our new building program. The bad news is, it's still out there in your pockets."
Would a Police-Dog arrest itself for fouling the street? Police Dog Joke Submitted by Kabogga.
Q: Whats worse then finding half a worm in your apple? A: The Holocaust.