A New Zealander walking along the road with a sheep under each arm. He meets another New Zealander who says "you sheerin' mate?" and the first guy replies "naw, they're all mine"
Teacher: "If you bought 8 hotdogs,9 cheese burgers and 7 fillet o fishes and you ate 8 hotdogs 9 cheese burger and 7 fillet o fish what do you have at the end?" Little Johnny: "A bad blatter issue."
If you look back far enough in your family tree, Chuck Norris appears at least three times.
Q: How do you make a dog go ‘miaow’? A: Freeze it in liquid nitrogen, and run it through a bandsaw…
Why did Hitler go to the eye doctor? Because he can Nazi.
Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because no one has told him he's black.
When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat kids into a camp fire.
Chuck Norris got swept over Niagara Falls... He liked it so much, he swam back up and did it again.
It is genetically pre-recorded in men’s brain to look for a women, which is alike his mother – said Mr. John to the judge at the court, where he was being blamed for raping his sister.
Chuck Norris ate once at Hard Rock Cafe. It's now called Shakey's.