Best jokes ever

A son and the dad are walking around on the streets. The dad stops the son and says, "Son, if you don't stop masturbating, you are going to go blind." The son says, "Dad! I'm over here!"
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has 48.02 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: age, dad, kids, life, masturbation
A blonde calls a pizza place to have one ordered to her house. They ask her if she wants the pizza cut into 6 or 12 pieces and she says, "Cut it into 6, I could never eat 12 pieces."
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has 48.02 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: blonde, food
They once made a "Chuck Norris" brand toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
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has 48.02 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris does not have to answer the phone. His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and translates them into audible sound.
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has 48.02 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, phone, technology
The computer programmer to his son: "Here, I brought you a new basketball." Son: "Thank you, daddy, but where is the user's guide?"
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has 48.02 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: computer, IT, programmer, sport
What do you call a blonde between two brunettes? A mental block.
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has 48.02 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeders, a State Policeman sees a car puttering along at 22 miles per hour. He thinks to himself, "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver...
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has 48.02 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: men
Chuck Norris' Facebook status has a dislike button...nobody clicks it.
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has 48.02 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, Facebook
What happened when the soldier went into an enemy bar? He got bombed.
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has 48.02 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: bar, military
The father with his daughter are taking a walk to a public place of their town; "Ann! Why are you so nervously looking around?" observes the father. "How else can I find you a really good son in law, dad?"
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has 48.02 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: dad, kids, lawyer
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