A truck driver was driving along on the freeway.
A sign comes up that reads, "Low Bridge Ahead."
Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge.
Cars are backed up for miles.
Finally, a police car comes up.
The cop gets out of his car and walk s to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says,
"Got stuck, huh?"
The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas.
Yo mama so fat she puts insurance on her food.
I never married because there was no need – I have three pets which serve the same purpose as a husband.
I have a dog that growls every morning, a parrot that swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late every night.
Q: What's blue and doesn't fit?
A: A dead epileptic.
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Chuck Norris was once so famished, he ate Turkey.
The country there now is only an impostor.
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Jamaica has named Usain Bolt its Sportsman of the Year.
In related news, the island has also made Michael Phelps an honorary citizen.
The original CBS Survivor series was filmed in Chuck's mansion.
No episode aired, as no one survived.
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Q: What do you call a blonde chick standing on her head?
A: A brunette.
A kid walks up to his teacher and says "When is lunch."
The teacher said "When its my break."
"Your break for what? the kid asks.
"My break up" the teacher said.
When someone is in trouble it's a job for Superman, when Superman is in trouble it's a job for Chuck Norris.
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