Little Johnny was in Maths class when his teacher asked him:
"Johnny, if your Mother had to repay a loan of $100,000, and you gave her $50,000, what would she need to repay the loan?"
Johnny replied, "To repay the loan? $50,000 more. To stay alive? CPR."
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What do you call a gay bar with no bar stools?
A fruit stand.
Chuck Norris can light ants on fire with a magnifying glass.
At Night.
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A New Zealander walking along the road with a sheep under each arm.
He meets another New Zealander who says "you sheerin' mate?" and the first guy replies "naw, they're all mine"
Teacher: "If you bought 8 hotdogs,9 cheese burgers and 7 fillet o fishes and you ate 8 hotdogs 9 cheese burger and 7 fillet o fish what do you have at the end?"
Little Johnny: "A bad blatter issue."
If you look back far enough in your family tree, Chuck Norris appears at least three times.
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Q: How do you make a dog go ‘miaow’?
A: Freeze it in liquid nitrogen, and run it through a bandsaw…
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Why did Hitler go to the eye doctor?
Because he can Nazi.
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When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat kids into a camp fire.
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Chuck Norris got swept over Niagara Falls...
He liked it so much, he swam back up and did it again.
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