A son and the dad are walking around on the streets.
The dad stops the son and says, "Son, if you don't stop masturbating, you are going to go blind."
The son says, "Dad! I'm over here!"
A blonde calls a pizza place to have one ordered to her house.
They ask her if she wants the pizza cut into 6 or 12 pieces and she says,
"Cut it into 6, I could never eat 12 pieces."
They once made a "Chuck Norris" brand toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
Vote:
Chuck Norris does not have to answer the phone.
His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and translates them into audible sound.
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The computer programmer to his son: "Here, I brought you a new basketball."
Son: "Thank you, daddy, but where is the user's guide?"
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What do you call a blonde between two brunettes?
A mental block.
Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeders, a State Policeman sees a car puttering along at 22 miles per hour.
He thinks to himself, "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!"
So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver...
Chuck Norris' Facebook status has a dislike button...nobody clicks it.
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What happened when the soldier went into an enemy bar?
He got bombed.
The father with his daughter are taking a walk to a public place of their town;
"Ann! Why are you so nervously looking around?" observes the father.
"How else can I find you a really good son in law, dad?"