Did you hear the joke about the skunk? Never mind, it stinks.
Q: How do you recycle a condom? A: Turn it inside out and shake the f**k out of it.
Q: Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days? A: Because then the children have to play inside.
Does running out of a burning barn make a cow unusual? No, only medium rare.
Q: What does Frosty's wife put on her face at night? A: Cold cream!
Postcard from a blonde: Having a wonderful time. Where am I?
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side…
A guy named Benny is sitting in a bar mouthing off that he knows everybody. So his buddy bets $10 the next person to walk in the bar didn't know him. Somebody walks in the bar and says "Hey Benny what's up?" so the guy then bets him $100 he doesn't know the first person they see outside walking down the street. So they go outside and see some coming up to the bar and says "Hey Benny how are things going?". Flustered the guy bets him $500 he doesn't know the President. So they drive up to the white house and the security guard says "Benny you know you can't just show up here like this." Then a limo pulls up with the president in it and he rolls down the window and says "Hey Benny how have you been?" So then he bets him $1000 he doesn't know the Pope. So they take a plane down to Rome and he says" Ok now watch up there on that balcony I'm gonna come out there with the Pope." So he goes up there and looks down to see his friend pass out. He goes down there and says "Are you that surprised that I know the Pope?" he goes "No somebody walked behind me and said who's that guy up there with Benny!"
Q: What did the blonde say when she was offered a position at the UN? A: Would that be a "missionary position?"
Q: What did the dentist say to the computer? A: This won't hurt a byte