The only reason world peace doesn't exist is because Chuck Norris doesn't feel like bringing peace to the whole world.
Q: What is a sheep's favorite sport? A: Baaasket baaall!
Chuck Norris once won an underwater breathing contest with a fish.
Chuck Norris can eat peanut butter with a straw.
Your moma is so ugly...she could make medicine sick!
What's green and sits in the corner? That same baby three weeks later.
Having past almost 30 years, the same question still bothers him… Why he does not look alike his brothers and parents at all - every single one pretty and he so ugly. He summoned all his courage and decided to ask his mother: "Mom, tell me the truth please, I am adapted, aren’t I?" The mother burst into tears and said: "Yes, my child! But it didn’t work, they returned you back!"
Chuck Norris once bench pressed an 18 wheeler. With him inside it.
Yo mamma so fat that why people think the earth is flat.
A woman asks an agriculturalist: "Please, tell me what shall I do? I have a garden but nothing grows there, like flowers or vegetables." The agriculturalist says: "You know, it is to dung the garden with a good fertilizer." The woman says: "And wouldn´t it be better to plant the vegetables directly into the ass?"