Q: Why didn't the blonde want a window seat on the plane? A: She'd just blow dried her hair and she didn't want it blown around too much.
Blonde cop pulls over blonde motorist. Cop asks the motorist to see her license so the blonde searches in her purse & tells the blonde cop that she must have forgot it at home. The blonde cop asks the blonde motorist does she have any other type of identification so she searches in her purse again, looks at a pocket mirror & says, "I have a picture of myself." The cop asks to see it so the blonde motorist hands over the pocket mirror. The blonde cop looks at it & says, "Well if I had known you were a police officer, I wouldn't have even pulled you over."
What is a moo hoo for the bucket that goes at the back end of the cow? A tail pail.
Chuck Norris does not go fishing, the fish surrender.
The war with Japan would have ended sooner, but the allies decided that dropping Chuck Norris on Hiroshima would be a crime against humanity.
Yo momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."
When Chuck Norris opens a bottle of coke happiness runs away screaming.
There was this biologist who was doing some experiments with frogs. He was measuring just how far frogs could jump. So he puts a frog on a line and says "Jump frog, jump!" The frog jumps 2 feet. He writes in his lab book: "Frog with 4 legs – jumps 2 feet." Next he chops off one of the legs and repeats the experiment. "Jump frog jump!" he says. The frog manages to jump 1.5 feet. So he writes in his lab book: "Frog with 3 legs – jumps 1.5 feet." He chops off another and the frog only jumps 1 foot. He writes in his book: "Frog with 2 legs jumps 1 foot." He continues and removes yet another leg. "Jump frog jump!" and the frog somehow jumps a half of a foot. So he writes in his lab book again: "Frog with one leg – jumps 0.5 feet." Finally he chops off the last leg. He puts the frog on the line and teels it to jump. "Jump frog, jump!" The frog doesn’t move. "Jump frog, jump!" Again the frog stays on the line. "Come on frog, jump!" But to no avail. The biologist finally writes in his book: "Frog with no legs – goes deaf."
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with an elephant? An elephant who never forgets to eat his carrots.
Rocky Balboa was a lucky man because Chuck Norris didn't pursue a boxing carreer.