The best animal jokes

A man walks into his bedroom after work and is surprised to find his wife lying naked on the bed. After careful examination, he spies a pair of bare feet sticking out from underneath the curtains. He rips open the blinds to find a naked man standing there. "Who the hell are you?" he yells. The naked guy replies, "I'm the moth inspector." "Oh, yeah? What are you doing naked?" He looks down and exclaims, "Oh my God, I'm too late!"
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has 47.21 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, god, marriage, wife, work
What's red and green and goes at 100mph? A frog in a blender.
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has 46.87 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: animal
The snake was punished because Chuck Norris tempted it to ate the apple.
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has 46.70 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, food
Q: Why can't you take a turkey to church? A: Because they use such FOWL language.
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has 46.70 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, church, communication
A old snake goes to see his Doctor. "Doc, I need something for my eyes...can't see well these days". The Doc fixes him up with a pair of glasses and tells him to return in 2 weeks. The snake comes back in 2 weeks and tells the doctor he's very depressed. Doc says, "What's the problem...didn't the glasses help you?" "The glasses are fine doc, I just discovered I've been living with a water hose the past 2 years!"
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has 46.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal
A dog goes into a job centre and asks for employment. ‘Wow, a talking dog,’ says the clerk. ‘With your talent I’m sure we can find you a job at the circus.’ ‘The circus?’ says the dog. ‘What does a circus want with a plumber?’
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has 46.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: What is red and black? A: A sunburnt zebra.
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has 46.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal
What is the feeling that you've smelled a certain skunk before? Deja phew.
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has 46.20 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal
A mouse chanced on a pool of whiskey that was the result of a raid by prohibition-enforcement agents. The mouse had had no previous acquaintance with liquor, but now, being thirsty, it took a sip of the strange fluid, and then retired into its hole to think. After some thought, it returned to the pool, and took a second sip of the whiskey. It then withdrew again to its hole, and thought. Presently, it issued and drew near the pool for the third time. Now, it took a big drink. Nor did it retreat to its hole. Instead, it climbed on a soap box, stood on its hind legs, bristled its whiskers, and squeaked: "Now, bring on your cat!"
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has 46.10 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal
Why did the frog go to the mall? Because he wanted to go hopping.
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has 46.10 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: animal
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