Q: Why do hippos have to have sex in water?
A: Ever try to keep two tons of pussy wet?
A dog goes into a job centre and asks for employment.
‘Wow, a talking dog,’ says the clerk.
‘With your talent I’m sure we can find you a job at the circus.’
‘The circus?’ says the dog.
‘What does a circus want with a plumber?’
Q: What is red and black?
A: A sunburnt zebra.
A scientist and a philosopher were being chased by a hungry lion.
The scientist made some quick calculations, he said “it’s no good trying to outrun it, its catching up”.
The philosopher kept a little ahead and replied “I am not trying to outrun the lion, I am trying to outrun you !”
Q. Why don't lions eat clowns?
A. Because they taste funny.
What South American dance do cows like to do?
The Rump-a.
What is the feeling that you've smelled a certain skunk before?
Deja phew.
Why did the frog go to the mall?
Because he wanted to go hopping.
Why did the frog cross the road?
To see what the chicken was doing.
What do you call a smart blonde?
A Golden Retriever.