How do you lead a horse to water? With lots of carrots.
Why do milking stools only have three legs? 'Cause the cow's got the udder!
Q: What is the pink stuff between elephant’s toes? A: Slow clowns.
Yo' Mama is so fat, she tried to eat her chicken pox.
Q: Why are fish so smart? A: Because they live in schools.
Q: What was the last thing her husband said to her? A: I'll feed the dog, you feed the fish.
"Mommy, all the kids at school say I'm a werewolf! Is that true?" "No, of course not. Now shut up and comb your face."
Racehorses have to pee like Chuck Norris.
A lady goes into a bar with her goose. Then the bartender comes up to her and says, "Why did you have to bring the pig in with you?" Then the lady answered, "Excuse me, I think this is a goose." And the bartender says, "Excuse me, I was talking to the goose."
Q) What do you call a dog with no legs? A) It doesn't matter, he won't come!