Q: Whats worse then finding half a worm in your apple?
A: The Holocaust.
Why doesn't Sweden export it's cattle?
It wants to keep it's Stockholm!
What do cows call Frank Sinatra?
Old Moo Eyes.
What do you call a man with a rabbit up his jumper?
Warren.
What must a policeman have before searching a rabbits home?
A search warren.
Would a Police-Dog arrest itself for fouling the street?
Police Dog Joke Submitted by Kabogga.
A New Zealander walking along the road with a sheep under each arm.
He meets another New Zealander who says "you sheerin' mate?" and the first guy replies "naw, they're all mine"
Why don't sharks eat niggers?
They think it's whale shit.
In the year 3000, animals rule the Earth; they talk and drive sportscars.
An owl enters a psychologist's office.
The psychologist says to the owl, "What is your problem?"
The owl replies, "I always sleep at night and am awake during the day. I am an owl and we usually are awake during the night."
The psychologist tells the owl to come back in two days to solve his problem, as he is very busy.
The next night, a cat comes in.
He says, "I always sleep during the day. Like my friends, I want to sleep during the night. Can you help?"
The psychologist advises the cat to come back in one day, as he is very busy.
The next day, the cat comes very, very, very early for his appointment and ends up at the same time as the owl.
The cat is told to wait outside.
He peeks in the owl's appointment and figures out his problem... and his address!
During the next evening, when the owl usually comes in for his appointment, the cat comes in.
The psychologist asks the cat why he is here instead of the owl.
The cat replies, "He is here!" and poops on the floor, explaining,
"I was sent to deliver him."
When is a lion not a lion?
When he turns into his cage.