The best animal jokes

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side…
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has 47.37 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal, travel
Why is it difficult to identify horses from the back? They re always switching their tails.
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has 47.37 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q) What do you call a dog with no legs? A) It doesn't matter, he won't come!
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has 47.21 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal
A man walks into his bedroom after work and is surprised to find his wife lying naked on the bed. After careful examination, he spies a pair of bare feet sticking out from underneath the curtains. He rips open the blinds to find a naked man standing there. "Who the hell are you?" he yells. The naked guy replies, "I'm the moth inspector." "Oh, yeah? What are you doing naked?" He looks down and exclaims, "Oh my God, I'm too late!"
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has 47.21 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, god, marriage, wife, work
How do you turn a fox into an elephant? Marry it.
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has 47.06 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: animal, elephant, marriage
A man goes to a party and has too much to drink. His friends plead with him to let them take him home. He says no -- he only lives a mile away. About five blocks from party, the police pull him over for weaving and ask him to get out of the car and walk the line. Just as he starts, the police radio blares out a notice of a robbery taking place in their area. The police tell the drunk party animal to stay put, they will be right back and they hop a fence and run down the street to the robbery. The guy waits and waits and finally decides to drive home. When he gets there, he tells his wife he is going to bed, and to tell anyone who might come looking for him that he has the flu and has been in bed all day. A few hours later the police knock on the door. They ask if Mr. SMITH is there and his wife says yes. They ask to see him and she replies that he is in bed with the flu and has been so all day. The police have his driver's license. They ask to see his car and she asks why. They insist on seeing his car, so she takes them to the garage and opens the door where they find their police car, with the lights still flashing.
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has 46.87 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, car, cop, party
Q: Why can't you take a turkey to church? A: Because they use such FOWL language.
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has 46.87 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: animal, church, communication
Q: Whats worse then finding half a worm in your apple? A: The Holocaust.
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has 46.70 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, black humor, food
It takes a master to shoot a fly from a hundred Paces, but it takes a Chuck Norris to roundhouse-kick one from a thousand.
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has 46.70 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death
A old snake goes to see his Doctor. "Doc, I need something for my eyes...can't see well these days". The Doc fixes him up with a pair of glasses and tells him to return in 2 weeks. The snake comes back in 2 weeks and tells the doctor he's very depressed. Doc says, "What's the problem...didn't the glasses help you?" "The glasses are fine doc, I just discovered I've been living with a water hose the past 2 years!"
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has 46.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal
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