"Does your dog bite?"
"No."
(Tries to touch dog. Dog bites him)
"Argh! I thought you said your dog doesn't bite!"
"That is not my dog."
Q. What’s got 4 legs and bleeds?
A. Half a spider!
Q: Why do hippos have to have sex in water?
A: Ever try to keep two tons of pussy wet?
A guy meets a hooker in a bar.
She says, "This is your lucky night.
I’ve got a special game for you.
I’ll do absolutely anything you want for $300, as long as you can say it in three words."
The guy replies, "Hey, why not?"
He pull his wallet out of his pocket, and one at a time lays three hundred-dollar bills on the bar, and says, slowly: "Paint…my…house."
Q: What do you get when you cross a rooster with a jar of peanut butter?
A: A cock that sticks to the roof of your mouth.
What is the definition of "moon"?
The past tense of "moo"!
What's a rabbits favorite TV show?
Hoppy Days.
Why is a reindeer like a gossip?
Because they are both tail bearers.
What is the most famous shark?
William Sharkspeare.
What would you get if you crossed a grizzly with the world's greatest basketball player?
Bear Jordan.