Why do elephants squirt water through their noses?
If they squirted it through their tails, it'd be very difficult to aim. 
A lion once put his head inside the mouth of Chuck Norris.
Vote:
Chuck Norris can mess with the bull without getting the horns.
Vote:
A waitress walks up to a man to take his order.
"I'd like to get the turtle soup, please."
The waitress walks off to go get his order, but the man changes his mind and decides he wants the pea soup instead.
"Hold the turtle, make it pea!"
Vote:
Q: What do you get when you cross a rooster with a jar of peanut butter?
A: A cock that sticks to the roof of your mouth.
How much do I owe Yo' Mama?
My dog came home happy last night.
What country do cows love to visit?
Moo Zealand.
What do cows like to listen to?
Moo-sic.
Where do Danish cows come from?
Cowpenhagenf.
What do you get if you cross a longhorn with a knight?
Sir Loin.