The best animal jokes

How do you lead a horse to water? With lots of carrots.
Vote: has 44.46 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, food
Why do milking stools only have three legs? 'Cause the cow's got the udder!
Vote: has 44.24 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
A guy walks into a bar with a giraffe, and the giraffe gets waay too drunk. The bartender says, "Hey! you can't leave that lyin' there!" The guy goes, "that's not a lion its a giraffe!"
Vote: has 44.24 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bar, bartender, drunk
Chuck Norris could stab you with a worm.
Vote: has 44.24 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
Yo' Mama is so fat, she tried to eat her chicken pox.
Vote: has 44.24 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, fat, food, Yo mama
A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he'd lost his cigarettes. In the middle of the room, under the carpet, was a bump. ''No sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack of smokes,'' he said to himself. He proceeded to get out his hammer and flattened the hump. As he was cleaning up, the lady came in. ''Here,'' she said, handling him his pack of cigarettes. ''I found them in the hallway.'' ''Now,'' she said, ''if only I could find my parakeet.''
Vote: has 44.13 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, work
Why didn’t the internet get any e-mail? Because his e-dog kept chasing the e-postman.
Vote: has 44.13 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, dog, internet, IT
Yo mama so stupid that she mourned wen we slaughtered a goat for Cristmas.
Vote: has 44.13 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, Christmas, stupid, Yo mama
Q: What was the last thing her husband said to her? A: I'll feed the dog, you feed the fish.
Vote: has 44.13 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, black humor, dog, fish, husband
What is a nigger? Proof that skunks fuck monkeys.
Vote: has 43.97 % from 77 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, black people