What happens when you kiss a canary?
You get chirpes, it can't be tweeted because its a canarial disease.
What do cows sing at their friends birthday parties?
"Happy Birthday to MOO, Happy Birthday to Moo."
That bull you sold me is a lazy good-for-nothing.
I told you he was a bum steer.
Where did the mooron take the baby cow to eat?
To the calf-ateria.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a millionaire?
A bunny with money.
Why is it difficult to identify horses from the back?
They re always switching their tails.
How far can a rabbit run into the woods?
Halfway.
After that she's running out of the woods.
A cat died and went to heaven. St. Peter said to the cat, "Is there anything I can do to make your stay here better?"
The cat said, "I've been sleeping on a cold floor and I'd love a warm pillow to sleep on.
St. Peter gave a pillow to the cat, and the cat headed off to bed.
Later, some mice came to St. Peter. They wanted roller skates to get around faster so St. Peter gave them their skates and the mice went off.
The next evening St. Peter checks in on the cat. "How was your night last night?"
The cat said "That pillow you gave me is really nice, but what I like the most about heaven is the Meals on Wheels."
Q. What do frogs do with paper?
A. Rip-it!
Q) What do you call a dog with no legs?
A) It doesn't matter, he won't come!