There is three kids sitting at the lunch table one day. One kid ask what do you call a mixed baby? One replies a zebra,another replies a mistake and the third one replies. Rape
What's red and green and goes at 100mph? A frog in a blender.
Yo' Mama is so fat, after sex, she smokes a turkey.
Q: Whats worse then finding half a worm in your apple? A: The Holocaust.
What do you call a cow that doesn't give milk? A milk dud.
It takes a master to shoot a fly from a hundred Paces, but it takes a Chuck Norris to roundhouse-kick one from a thousand.
A old snake goes to see his Doctor. "Doc, I need something for my eyes...can't see well these days". The Doc fixes him up with a pair of glasses and tells him to return in 2 weeks. The snake comes back in 2 weeks and tells the doctor he's very depressed. Doc says, "What's the problem...didn't the glasses help you?" "The glasses are fine doc, I just discovered I've been living with a water hose the past 2 years!"
A dog goes into a job centre and asks for employment. ‘Wow, a talking dog,’ says the clerk. ‘With your talent I’m sure we can find you a job at the circus.’ ‘The circus?’ says the dog. ‘What does a circus want with a plumber?’
Q: What is red and black? A: A sunburnt zebra.
Q: What's meaner than a pit bull with herpes? A: The guy who gave it to him.