"Mommy, all the kids at school say I'm a werewolf! Is that true?" "No, of course not. Now shut up and comb your face."
What do you call a cow on a trampoline? A milkshake.
Chuck Norris created the platypus by roundhouse kicking a duck at a beaver.
How do you know when a crab is drunk? It walks forwards.
Why do elephants squirt water through their noses? If they squirted it through their tails, it'd be very difficult to aim.
A lion once put his head inside the mouth of Chuck Norris.
Q: What do you get when you cross a rooster with a jar of peanut butter? A: A cock that sticks to the roof of your mouth.
What do cows like to listen to? Moo-sic.
What do cows usually fly around in? Helicowpters and Bulloons.
What do you call a cow that fell in a hole? A hole-y Cow.