Unicorns are extinct but Chuck Norris used all their horns as toothpicks.
What do cows sing at their friends birthday parties? "Happy Birthday to MOO, Happy Birthday to Moo."
That bull you sold me is a lazy good-for-nothing. I told you he was a bum steer.
What do you call a rabbit that plays with foxes? A dumb bunny.
Did you hear the joke about the skunk? Never mind, it stinks.
How do you lead a horse to water? With lots of carrots.
Two bats are hanging upside down on a branch. One asks the other, "Do you recall your worst day last year?" The other responds, "Yes, the day I had diarrhea!"
Why are there no zebras in Czech zoos? Czechs and stripes don’t mix.
Thousands of years ago cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.
There was once a man from the city who was visiting a small farm, and during this visit he saw a farmer feeding pigs in a most extraordinary manner. The farmer would lift a pig up to a nearby apple tree, and the pig would eat the apples off the tree directly. The farmer would move the pig from one apple to another until the pig was satisfied, then he would start again with another pig. The city man watched this activity for some time with great astonishment. Finally, he could not resist saying to the farmer, “This is the most inefficient method of feeding pigs that I can imagine. Just think of the time that would be saved if you simply shook the apples off the tree and let the pigs eat them from the ground!” The farmer looked puzzled and replied, “What’s time to a pig?”