What do you call a dinosaur that destroys everything in its path? Tyrannosaurus Wrecks.
There where two snakes talking. The 1st one said 'Sidney, are we the type of snakes who wrap ourselves around our prey and squeeze and crush until they're dead? Or are we the type of snake who ambush our prey and bite them and they are poisioned?'. Then the second Snake says "Why do you ask?" The 1st one replies: "I just bit my lip!"
Q: What is red and black? A: A sunburnt zebra.
Yo' Mama is so ugly, her face looks like a horse's ass flapping in the breeze.
Q: Why don't black kids play in sand boxs? A: Because they are affraid the cats will try to cover them up.
Are you a shark? Cause I've got some swimmers for you to swallow.
Chuck Norris doesn't play dead for bears, bears play dead for Chuck Norris.
Q: Why do hippos have to have sex in water? A: Ever try to keep two tons of pussy wet?
Why can't Miss Piggy count to 100? Because when she gets to 69 she has a frog in her throat.
Yo mommas so stupid when she licked a dog she said meow.