Q. Why did the man cross the road? A. He heard the chicken was a slut.
How do you know when a crab is drunk? It walks forwards.
There where two snakes talking. The 1st one said 'Sidney, are we the type of snakes who wrap ourselves around our prey and squeeze and crush until they're dead? Or are we the type of snake who ambush our prey and bite them and they are poisioned?'. Then the second Snake says "Why do you ask?" The 1st one replies: "I just bit my lip!"
Why did the zombie baby cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.
A mother and baby camel are talking one day when the baby camel asks, "Mom why have I got these huge three-toed feet?" The mother replies, "Well son, when we trek across the desert your toes will help you to stay on top of the soft sand." "Okay," said the son. A few minutes later the son asks, "Mom, why have I got these great long eyelashes?" "They are there to keep the sand out of your eyes on the trips through the desert," "Thanks Mom," replies the son. After a short while, the son returns and asks, "Mom, why have I got these great big humps on my back?" The mother, now a little impatient with the boy replies, "They are there to help us store fat for our long treks across the desert, so we can go without water for long periods." "That's great mom, so we have huge feet to stop us sinking, and long eyelashes to keep the sand from our eyes and these humps to store water, but Mom ..." "Yes son?" "What good does all that do us here in the San Diego Zoo?"
Yo mommas so stupid when she licked a dog she said meow.
What's a moo hoo for a darling bull? A dear steer.
What's a moo hoo for a stuffed steer? A full bull.
What do you call a cow who argues with her husband? A bullfighter.
What did the mooron say when he saw the milk cartons in the grass? "Hey! Look at the cow's nest!"