The best animal jokes

A worm gets out from cherry compote and, after he stretches a little, says satisfied: I love sauna!
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has 43.73 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal, love
I saw some ducks practicing their teenage girl faces at the pond today.
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has 43.61 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, duck, teen
A guy walks into a Raptors bar with a dachshund under his arm. The dog is wearing a "Toronto Raptors" jersey and helmet, and is festooned with "Raptors" pom-poms. The bartender says: "Hey! No pets are allowed in here! You'll have to leave!" The guy begs him: "Look, I'm desperate. We're both big fans, the TV is broken, and this is the only place around where we can see the game!" After securing a promise that the dog will behave, and warning him that he and the dog will be thrown out if there's any trouble, the bartender relents and allows them to stay in the bar and watch the game. The big game begins and Vince Carter does a great slum dunk. With that the dog jumps up on the bar, and begins walking up and down the bar giving high-fives to everyone. The bartender says: "Wow, that is the most amazing thing I've ever seen! What does the dog do if Raptors win?" The owner replies: "I don't know, I've only had him for a half year."
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has 43.52 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, bartender, dog, game
One day a teacher asked the class, "What is the difference between a bird and a fly?" A student then replied, "A bird can fly but a fly cannot bird."
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has 43.42 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: animal, bird, student, teacher, white people
Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest? A: An Investigator
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has 43.39 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: animal
Why do milking stools only have three legs? 'Cause the cow's got the udder!
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has 43.21 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal
Teacher: Give me an example of animal. Jimmy: Frog Teacher: Give me another. Jimmy: Another Frog.
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has 43.21 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: Why do hippos have to have sex in water? A: Ever try to keep two tons of pussy wet?
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has 43.21 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal
A guy enters a bar carrying an alligator. Says to the patrons, "Here’s a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside. The gator will close his mouth for one minute, then open it, and I'll remove my unit unscathed. If it works, everyone buys me drinks." The crowd agrees. The guy drops his pants and puts his privates in the gator's mouth. Gator closes mouth. After a minute, the guy grabs a beer bottle and bangs the gator on the top of its head. The gator opens wide, and he removes his genitals unscathed. Everyone buys him drinks. Then he says: "I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try." After a while, a hand goes up in the back of the bar. It's a woman. "I'll give it a try," she says, "but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with the beer bottle."
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has 43.21 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal
What do you call a grizzly bear caught in the rain? (A drizzly bear!)
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has 43.21 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal
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