‘I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he’s gone.’ Steven Wright
Thousands of years ago cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.
Q: What is a thespian pony? A: A little horse play
Q: What do you call a chilly dog sitting on bunny? A: A Cold dog on a bun.
A snail is walking down the road, when all of a sudden two turtles appear. They rough up the snail, take his money, and leave him for dead. Months later in the courtroom, after the two turtles have been arrested, the judge asks the snail to describe what happened on the night of the assault. The snail says, "Gee, I would love to, your honor, but it all happened so fast!"
What did the blonde call her pet zebra? Spot.
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road without looking both ways? "Dead."
Why did the frog walk across the road? He didn't... he jumped.
Why did the frog cross the road? To see what the chicken was doing.
Why did the frog cross the road? Some mean little kid super-glued it to the chicken.