The best animal jokes

A penguin's car breaks down and he has it towed to a repair shop. The mechanic tells him that he should have some information in about an hour. The penguin sees an ice cream shop across the street so he wanders over while the mechanic works. He finds the vanilla is the best ice cream he's ever eaten and he eats it with messy and gluttonous abandon getting it all over his face. He goes back to the mechanic's to check on his car. The mechanic informs him, "It looks as though you've blown a seal." "Oh, no." replies the penguin "It's just some ice cream."
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More jokes about: animal, car, mechanic, work
A farmer was bragging. "I've got 350 sheep." "That's a lot of sheep," said another farmer. "And I've got 500 chickens," bragged the farmer. "That's a lot of chickens," answered the second farmer. "And 40 bulls," added the farmer. The other farmer replied, "Boy! That IS a lot of bull."
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Teacher: Billy, how do you spell "Crocodile"? Billy: ‘K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L' Teacher: No, that's wrong Billy: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!
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More jokes about: animal, school, teacher
What's a moo hoo for a tug-of-war between two longhorns? A bull pull.
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What do you call a man with a rabbit up his jumper? Warren.
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A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he'd lost his cigarettes. In the middle of the room, under the carpet, was a bump. ''No sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack of smokes,'' he said to himself. He proceeded to get out his hammer and flattened the hump. As he was cleaning up, the lady came in. ''Here,'' she said, handling him his pack of cigarettes. ''I found them in the hallway.'' ''Now,'' she said, ''if only I could find my parakeet.''
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More jokes about: animal, work
Chuck Norris and Jean-Claude Van Damme play tug a war with live annacondas.
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More jokes about: animal, celebrity, Chuck Norris, war
Q: What do cow pies and cowgirls have in common? A: The older they get the easier they are to pick up.
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More jokes about: age, animal
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road without looking both ways? "Dead."
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More jokes about: animal, death
Why did the frog go to the mall? Because he wanted to go hopping.
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More jokes about: animal


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