Q: Where did the newlywed horses stay? A: In the bridle suite.
YOUR MOMS HOUSE IS SO POOR I WENT TO KNOCK ON HER DOOR AND A ROACH TRIPPED ME AND A RAT TOOK MY WALET.
Q: What do you call a chilly dog sitting on bunny? A: A Cold dog on a bun.
What did the blonde call her pet zebra? Spot.
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road without looking both ways? "Dead."
Why did the frog cross the road? To see what the chicken was doing.
Why did the frog cross the road? Some mean little kid super-glued it to the chicken.
The old mosquito puts the little baby’s to bed and tells them: If you are good, tomorrow I’m going to take you to the nudists.
A circus owner walked into a bar to see everyone crowded about a table watching a little show. On the table was an upside down pot and a duck tap dancing on it. The circus owner was so impressed that he offered to buy the duck from its owner. After some wheeling and dealing, they settled for $10,000 for the duck and the pot. Three days later the circus owner runs back to the bar in anger, "Your duck is a ripoff! I put him on the pot before a whole audience, and he didn't dance a single step!" "What!?" asked the duck's former owner, "did you remember to light the candle under the pot?"
Patty was sitting in her back yard digging a hole to bury her dead goldfish. Mrs. Johnson, who lived next door, was watching her over the fence. Mrs. Johnson said, "Patty, what are you doing?" Patty said, "I'm digging a hole to bury my dead goldfish." Mrs. Johnson said, "Patty, don't you think that hole is a little BIG for a goldfish?" Patty said, "No...it's inside your damn cat!"