Why was Teddy Roosevelt mean to horses? He was a rough rider!
How does a cow do math? With a cowculator.
One day a man and a giraffe go to a pub they have a couple of drinks then on their way out the giraffe falls over and blocks the door the bar. Man says "you can leave that lion here." The man said "it's not a lion its a giraffe you idiot."
What do you get if you cross a cow, a french fry, and a sofa? A cowch potato.
What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air? A seahorse.
Q: What's the difference between Chuck Norris and a bear? A: Chuck Norris has more chest hair.
Chuck Norris likes his meat rare, so he eats unicorns.
Chuck Norris eats black holes for breakfast. They taste like chicken.
Racehorses have to pee like Chuck Norris.
A worm gets out from cherry compote and, after he stretches a little, says satisfied: I love sauna!