Chuck Norris eats black holes for breakfast.
They taste like chicken.
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Chuck Norris can kill a Great White Shark by drowning it.
Vote:
The snake was punished because Chuck Norris tempted it to ate the apple.
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In what state will you find the most cows?
Moo York.
On the show Man v.s Wild, when they talk about the profesionals that Bear recieves help from, they are refering to Chuck Norris.
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What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and sheep?
A wooly jumper.
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road without looking both ways?
"Dead."
Jesse starts wailing to the vet, "you gotta save my dog, he looks real bad - please you just gotta!"
"There, there Jesse, your dog just has a broken hip he'll be fine in no time.
My fee, of course, will be $1,500."
Jesse starts to wail - "oh, my dog's going to die!!!"
The T. Rexes were all angry.
You know why?
Because these huge muscular creatures with these big muscular legs and these tiny little hands!
How would you feel, 60 million years never being able to masturbate?
That is the real reason dinosaurs are extinct right there.
They say animal behavior can warn you when an earthquake is coming.
Like the night before that last earthquake hit, our family dog took the car keys and drove to Arizona.