Q: What do cow pies and cowgirls have in common?
A: The older they get the easier they are to pick up.
Why did the frog cross the road?
To see what the chicken was doing.
Two crocks rest on the basin of a zoo talking:
Yesterday, the caretaker cursed me, said the older one.
What did you do?
Asks the other. - I’ve swallowed him...
Well, a man was driving down a country road, and he decided to get out and get some fresh air.
He got out, and started walking in a meadow.
As he walked, he came upon a hole.
Wanting to see how deep it was, he threw a pebble down.
No sound.
So he threw a medium-sized rock down. No sound.
The man started to get frustrated, so he threw a boulder down.
No sound.
As he searched about, he spotted a railroad beam.
He hauled it over to the hole, and shoved it in.
No sound.
He sat down on the ground, exhausted.
Suddenly, he saw a goat running at him, full speed.
He leaped up, and it brushed past him, and fell in the hole.
He listened, but there was no sound.
He sat down again. A few minutes later, a farmer came walking up.
The man asked him, "How deep is this hole?"
The farmer said, "Oh. Thats the bottomless pit. It never ends.
Say, have you seen my prize goat?"
The man, not wanting to get the blame, said, "No." The farmer said, "Oh well.
He can't get far. He was tied to a railroad beam."
If toast always lands butter-side down and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast to the back of a cat and drop it?
Q: Why does a squirrle swim on its back?
A: To keep its nuts dry
Q: What did one lesbian frog say to the other lesbian frog?
A: Gee, we really do taste like chicken!
What kind of car does a rabbit drive?
A furrari.
I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.
Chuck Norris and Jean-Claude Van Damme play tug a war with live annacondas.
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