Chuck Norris eats black holes for breakfast. They taste like chicken.
Chuck Norris can kill a Great White Shark by drowning it.
Chuck Norris was sitting around a campfire with two cowboys. The cowboys were competing to see which one is more hardcore. The first one says," Once, I was charged by an angry bull. I proceeded to jump on its back and kill it by gorging its eyes out." The second says, " Once I was swimming in a river, and an annocanda tried to strangle me. I ripped its head off with my teeth." Chuck norris just smiles and continues tending to the campfire with his penis.
The snake was punished because Chuck Norris tempted it to ate the apple.
In what state will you find the most cows? Moo York.
On the show Man v.s Wild, when they talk about the profesionals that Bear recieves help from, they are refering to Chuck Norris.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and sheep? A wooly jumper.
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road without looking both ways? "Dead."
Why did the frog go to the mall? Because he wanted to go hopping.
Jesse starts wailing to the vet, "you gotta save my dog, he looks real bad - please you just gotta!" "There, there Jesse, your dog just has a broken hip he'll be fine in no time. My fee, of course, will be $1,500." Jesse starts to wail - "oh, my dog's going to die!!!"