The best animal jokes

Why did the zombie baby cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.
Vote: has 39.32 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, baby, disgusting
Q: Why did the lion brake up with his girlfriend? A: Cuz she was a CHEETAH!
Vote: has 39.32 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, relationship
Q: What do women and cats have in common? A: Pussy farts.
Vote: has 39.21 % from 34 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, cat, fart, women
Q: Why did the atheist throw her watch out the window? A: She wanted to see if it was designed intelligently enough to evolve into a bird.
Vote: has 38.49 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, atheist
Q: Why does a squirrle swim on its back? A: To keep its nuts dry
Vote: has 38.25 % from 46 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, dirty
Why couldnt the teddy bear eat any more thanksgiving dinner? He was already stuffed!
Vote: has 37.92 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, food, Thanksgiving
Q: What was the last thing her husband said to her? A: I'll feed the dog, you feed the fish.
Vote: has 37.92 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, black humor, dog, fish, husband
Late one night a couple is driving down a country highway and run over an oppossum. Knowing that mother oppossums often carry babies in their pouch, they decide to check out this poor animal. Sure enough there was a baby, so they decide to rescue it. They take it into the car and continue down the road. The little oppossum is scared and squirming around like crazy so the wife asks her husband what she should do? He thinks for a minute and says, " Well it's used to being in it's mother's pouch. Maybe if you unbutton your jeans, and put it in "there" it will calm down." She exclaims, " I'm not going to do that! That thing is smelly and nasty!" The husband replies," Well, why don't you just hold it's little nose!"
Vote: has 37.61 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
Little girl: "Why does your son say, 'Cluck, cluck, cluck?'" Mother: "Because he thinks he's a chicken." Little girl: "Why don't you tell him he's not a chicken?" Mother: "Because we need the eggs."
Vote: has 37.36 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, kids
Why did the duck get arrested? because he was selling quack.
Vote: has 37.27 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, cop, duck