I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.
Little Johnny wanted to go to the zoo and pestered his parents for days. Finally his mother talked his reluctant father into taking him. "So how was it?" his mother asked when they returned home. "Great," Little Johnny replied. "Did you and daddy have a good time?" asked his mother. "Yeah, daddy really liked it too," exclaimed Little Johnny, "especially when one of the animals came home at 30 to 1!"
Q: What do women and cats have in common? A: Pussy farts.
Chuck Norris eats black holes for breakfast. They taste like chicken.
Chuck Norris can kill a Great White Shark by drowning it.
The snake was punished because Chuck Norris tempted it to ate the apple.
In what state will you find the most cows? Moo York.
On the show Man v.s Wild, when they talk about the profesionals that Bear recieves help from, they are refering to Chuck Norris.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and sheep? A wooly jumper.
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road without looking both ways? "Dead."