I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.
Q: What's the difference between Chuck Norris and a bear? A: Chuck Norris has more chest hair.
Chuck Norris likes his meat rare, so he eats unicorns.
Chuck Norris eats black holes for breakfast. They taste like chicken.
Racehorses have to pee like Chuck Norris.
A worm gets out from cherry compote and, after he stretches a little, says satisfied: I love sauna!
Why did the spider buy a car? So he could take it out for a spin!
Q: What do cow pies and cowgirls have in common? A: The older they get the easier they are to pick up.
Two crocks rest on the basin of a zoo talking: Yesterday, the caretaker cursed me, said the older one. What did you do? Asks the other. - I’ve swallowed him...
Patty was sitting in her back yard digging a hole to bury her dead goldfish. Mrs. Johnson, who lived next door, was watching her over the fence. Mrs. Johnson said, "Patty, what are you doing?" Patty said, "I'm digging a hole to bury my dead goldfish." Mrs. Johnson said, "Patty, don't you think that hole is a little BIG for a goldfish?" Patty said, "No...it's inside your damn cat!"