The best animal jokes

Chuck Norris can make a turtle go faster.
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has 41.83 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, travel
Why did the spider buy a car? So he could take it out for a spin!
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has 41.82 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: animal, car
Q: What do cow pies and cowgirls have in common? A: The older they get the easier they are to pick up.
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has 40.95 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: age, animal
Two crocks rest on the basin of a zoo talking: Yesterday, the caretaker cursed me, said the older one. What did you do? Asks the other. - I’ve swallowed him...
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has 40.95 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: animal
Well, a man was driving down a country road, and he decided to get out and get some fresh air. He got out, and started walking in a meadow. As he walked, he came upon a hole. Wanting to see how deep it was, he threw a pebble down. No sound. So he threw a medium-sized rock down. No sound. The man started to get frustrated, so he threw a boulder down. No sound. As he searched about, he spotted a railroad beam. He hauled it over to the hole, and shoved it in. No sound. He sat down on the ground, exhausted. Suddenly, he saw a goat running at him, full speed. He leaped up, and it brushed past him, and fell in the hole. He listened, but there was no sound. He sat down again. A few minutes later, a farmer came walking up. The man asked him, "How deep is this hole?" The farmer said, "Oh. Thats the bottomless pit. It never ends. Say, have you seen my prize goat?" The man, not wanting to get the blame, said, "No." The farmer said, "Oh well. He can't get far. He was tied to a railroad beam."
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has 40.95 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: animal
Chuck Norris once won the Iditarod by pulling his team of dogs on the sled.
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has 40.88 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, sport
Little Johnny wanted to go to the zoo and pestered his parents for days. Finally his mother talked his reluctant father into taking him. "So how was it?" his mother asked when they returned home. "Great," Little Johnny replied. "Did you and daddy have a good time?" asked his mother. "Yeah, daddy really liked it too," exclaimed Little Johnny, "especially when one of the animals came home at 30 to 1!"
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has 40.68 % from 148 votes. More jokes about: animal, dad, little Johnny
I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.
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has 40.53 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: animal
Chuck Norris was sitting around a campfire with two cowboys. The cowboys were competing to see which one is more hardcore. The first one says," Once, I was charged by an angry bull. I proceeded to jump on its back and kill it by gorging its eyes out." The second says, " Once I was swimming in a river, and an annocanda tried to strangle me. I ripped its head off with my teeth." Chuck norris just smiles and continues tending to the campfire with his penis.
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has 40.51 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, cowboy, death
Chuck Norris can kill a Great White Shark by drowning it.
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has 40.09 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death
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