The best animal jokes

Teacher: Billy, how do you spell "Crocodile"? Billy: ‘K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L' Teacher: No, that's wrong Billy: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!
Vote:
has 41.91 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, school, teacher
What did the cow wear to the football game? A Jersey.
Vote:
has 41.91 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, football, game
Would a Police-Dog arrest itself for fouling the street? Police Dog Joke Submitted by Kabogga.
Vote:
has 41.91 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog
How does a cow do math? With a cowculator.
Vote:
has 41.89 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: animal, math
A blond a, a brunette and a redhead were at the top of a cliff looking down at the beach. Suddenly a genie appears to them and says "I will grant you each one wish if you'll jump off the side of this cliff." So the redhead jumps off and shouts "Seagull" and turns into a seagull and flies away. Then the brunette jumps off and shouts "Whale" and turns into a whale, falls into the sea and swims away. Finally the blond runs towards the cliff edge, but trips at the last second, as as she falls she shouts out "Shit"
Vote:
has 41.85 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, genie, ginger
Racehorses have to pee like Chuck Norris.
Vote:
has 41.85 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he'd lost his cigarettes. In the middle of the room, under the carpet, was a bump. ''No sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack of smokes,'' he said to himself. He proceeded to get out his hammer and flattened the hump. As he was cleaning up, the lady came in. ''Here,'' she said, handling him his pack of cigarettes. ''I found them in the hallway.'' ''Now,'' she said, ''if only I could find my parakeet.''
Vote:
has 41.84 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, work
In the year 3000, animals rule the Earth; they talk and drive sportscars. An owl enters a psychologist's office. The psychologist says to the owl, "What is your problem?" The owl replies, "I always sleep at night and am awake during the day. I am an owl and we usually are awake during the night." The psychologist tells the owl to come back in two days to solve his problem, as he is very busy. The next night, a cat comes in. He says, "I always sleep during the day. Like my friends, I want to sleep during the night. Can you help?" The psychologist advises the cat to come back in one day, as he is very busy. The next day, the cat comes very, very, very early for his appointment and ends up at the same time as the owl. The cat is told to wait outside. He peeks in the owl's appointment and figures out his problem... and his address! During the next evening, when the owl usually comes in for his appointment, the cat comes in. The psychologist asks the cat why he is here instead of the owl. The cat replies, "He is here!" and poops on the floor, explaining, "I was sent to deliver him."
Vote:
has 41.82 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, car, cat, disgusting, time
Q: What did the seal say when found nuts in the sea? A: "Look I found deep nuts."
Vote:
has 41.82 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, communication, dirty
Little Johnny wanted to go to the zoo and pestered his parents for days. Finally his mother talked his reluctant father into taking him. "So how was it?" his mother asked when they returned home. "Great," Little Johnny replied. "Did you and daddy have a good time?" asked his mother. "Yeah, daddy really liked it too," exclaimed Little Johnny, "especially when one of the animals came home at 30 to 1!"
Vote:
has 41.12 % from 142 votes. More jokes about: animal, dad, little Johnny
<<<124125126127
More jokes →
Page 124 of 151.