The best animal jokes

Chuck Norris can make a turtle go faster.
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has 41.83 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, travel
Two crocks rest on the basin of a zoo talking: Yesterday, the caretaker cursed me, said the older one. What did you do? Asks the other. - I’ve swallowed him...
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has 40.95 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: animal
Well, a man was driving down a country road, and he decided to get out and get some fresh air. He got out, and started walking in a meadow. As he walked, he came upon a hole. Wanting to see how deep it was, he threw a pebble down. No sound. So he threw a medium-sized rock down. No sound. The man started to get frustrated, so he threw a boulder down. No sound. As he searched about, he spotted a railroad beam. He hauled it over to the hole, and shoved it in. No sound. He sat down on the ground, exhausted. Suddenly, he saw a goat running at him, full speed. He leaped up, and it brushed past him, and fell in the hole. He listened, but there was no sound. He sat down again. A few minutes later, a farmer came walking up. The man asked him, "How deep is this hole?" The farmer said, "Oh. Thats the bottomless pit. It never ends. Say, have you seen my prize goat?" The man, not wanting to get the blame, said, "No." The farmer said, "Oh well. He can't get far. He was tied to a railroad beam."
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has 40.95 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: animal
Chuck Norris once won the Iditarod by pulling his team of dogs on the sled.
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has 40.88 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, sport
Little Johnny wanted to go to the zoo and pestered his parents for days. Finally his mother talked his reluctant father into taking him. "So how was it?" his mother asked when they returned home. "Great," Little Johnny replied. "Did you and daddy have a good time?" asked his mother. "Yeah, daddy really liked it too," exclaimed Little Johnny, "especially when one of the animals came home at 30 to 1!"
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has 40.68 % from 148 votes. More jokes about: animal, dad, little Johnny
How do you hire a horse? Put a brick under each hoof!
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has 40.67 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: animal
One day a man and a giraffe go to a pub they have a couple of drinks then on their way out the giraffe falls over and blocks the door the bar. Man says "you can leave that lion here." The man said "it's not a lion its a giraffe you idiot."
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has 40.67 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bar, men, stupid
I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.
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has 40.53 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: What do women and cats have in common? A: Pussy farts.
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has 40.31 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat, fart, women
Chuck Norris eats black holes for breakfast. They taste like chicken.
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has 40.24 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, food
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