The best animal jokes

Q: What do you get when you cross a rooster with a jar of peanut butter? A: A cock that sticks to the roof of your mouth.
Vote: has 39.32 % from 13 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, food
There's two fish in a tank, and one says ''How do you drive this thing?''
Vote: has 39.32 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal
Q: What did one lesbian frog say to the other lesbian frog? A: Gee, we really do taste like chicken!
Vote: has 39.00 % from 107 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, dirty, lesbian
Why couldnt the teddy bear eat any more thanksgiving dinner? He was already stuffed!
Vote: has 37.92 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, food, Thanksgiving
A guy goes into an antique shop. He's browsing around the shop and comes across a brass rat. He picks up the rat and is looking at it when the shop owner approaches him. He asks the owner how much the Brass Rat is. The shop owner says $20 For the rat and $10 for the story behind it. The customers say I don't need to know the story but I'll buy the rat. So he pays for the rat and leaves the shop. After about 50 yards he hears a Wierd noise behind him and so looks around. There's a bunch of rats following him so he picks up the pace a walks faster but the noise gets louder. He glances behind and there are hundreds of rats following him so he starts to run. Still, the noise gets louder and there are thousands of rats chasing him. He comes to a bridge over the river and thinks the rats are chasing him because of the Brass Rat, he has so he throws the rat as far as he can into the river. All the rats that were chasing him then all jump into the river and drown. The guy thinks for a while and then walks back to the shop. As he enters the shop the owner who saw him coming said I bet you came back for the story behind the Brass Rat did you? The customer says no I didn't. Have you got a brass Nigger?
Vote: has 37.68 % from 33 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, business, customer service, money, racist
Why did the duck get arrested? because he was selling quack.
Vote: has 37.61 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, cop, duck
Late one night a couple is driving down a country highway and run over an oppossum. Knowing that mother oppossums often carry babies in their pouch, they decide to check out this poor animal. Sure enough there was a baby, so they decide to rescue it. They take it into the car and continue down the road. The little oppossum is scared and squirming around like crazy so the wife asks her husband what she should do? He thinks for a minute and says, " Well it's used to being in it's mother's pouch. Maybe if you unbutton your jeans, and put it in "there" it will calm down." She exclaims, " I'm not going to do that! That thing is smelly and nasty!" The husband replies," Well, why don't you just hold it's little nose!"
Vote: has 37.61 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal
I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.
Vote: has 37.61 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
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What did the cannibal say when he came home and found his wife chopping up a python and a pygmy? Oh no, not snake and pygmy pie again!
Vote: has 37.61 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, food, marriage, wife
Q: What do you call a fight between you and your dad? A: Dady issues!
Vote: has 37.61 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, dad


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