What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? A.A dog is always happy to see you B.A dog only takes a couple of months to train.
Question: What’s the difference between a woman with PMS and a pit bull? Answer: Lipstick.
So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says ''Your eyes sparkle like diamonds''. I said, ''Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck'
A guy walks into a bar with a giraffe, and the giraffe gets waay too drunk. The bartender says, "Hey! you can't leave that lyin' there!" The guy goes, "that's not a lion its a giraffe!"
Q: Why does a dog lick himself? A: He can't make a fist.
Q: Why do cops arrest black people? A: Because monkeys belong in cages.
What does a spider do when he gets angry? He goes up the wall!
How does a frog feel when he has a broken leg? Unhoppy.
Q: What's a tiger running a copy machine called? A: A copycat!
There's two fish in a tank, and one says ''How do you drive this thing?''