In what state will you find the most cows? Moo York.
A farmer was bragging. "I've got 350 sheep." "That's a lot of sheep," said another farmer. "And I've got 500 chickens," bragged the farmer. "That's a lot of chickens," answered the second farmer. "And 40 bulls," added the farmer. The other farmer replied, "Boy! That IS a lot of bull."
Q: Why did the lion brake up with his girlfriend? A: Cuz she was a CHEETAH!
According to leading scientists, the deadliest animal on the planet is the Bearded Norris.
One day there was a tortoise walking on the road. Along came the hare that had once been defeated by the tortoise in a race. The hare was so angry from what had happened to him so he challenged him to another race. The tortoise gladly accepted his challenge. It ended up that the tortoise and the hare never finished the race because they both took a nap right before the finish line. So the tortoise is still the champion of the race. So remember this you snooze you loose!
Would a Police-Dog arrest itself for fouling the street? Police Dog Joke Submitted by Kabogga.
If toast always lands butter-side down and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast to the back of a cat and drop it?
Why do female black widow spiders kill the males after mating? To stop the snoring before it starts.
Two blondes were walking through the woods when one looked down and said "Oh, look at the deer tracks." The other blonde looks and says "Those aren't deer tracks, those are wolf tracks." "No. Those are deer tracks." They keep arguing, and arguing, about half hour later they were both killed by a train.
What do cows wear when they are on vacation in Hawaii? Moo moos.