A crocodile has 2 eyes and 80 teeth. Question: What has 80 eyes and 2 teeth? Answer: A full bus of old men.
What does a spider do when he gets angry? He goes up the wall!
A passenger train is creeping along, slowly. Finally it creaks to a halt. A passenger sees a conductor walking by outside. "What's going on?" she yells out the window. "Cow on the track!" replies the conductor. Ten minutes later, the train resumes its slow pace. Within five minutes, however, it stops again. The woman sees the same conductor walk again. She leans out the window and yells, "What happened? Did we catch up with the cow again?"
What's the difference between an old cat and a baby kitten? An old cat scratches and bites but a little pussy never hurt anybody!
Q: What's a tiger running a copy machine called? A: A copycat!
There's two fish in a tank, and one says ''How do you drive this thing?''
Why did the zombie baby cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.
How does a frog feel when he has a broken leg? Unhoppy.
Q: What do you get when 100 rabbits stand in a row and 99 take a step back? A: A receding hare line.
What do you call a dinosaur that's a noisy sleeper? A Brontosnorus.