The best animal jokes

A farmer was bragging. "I've got 350 sheep." "That's a lot of sheep," said another farmer. "And I've got 500 chickens," bragged the farmer. "That's a lot of chickens," answered the second farmer. "And 40 bulls," added the farmer. The other farmer replied, "Boy! That IS a lot of bull."
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has 39.64 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: Why did the lion brake up with his girlfriend? A: Cuz she was a CHEETAH!
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has 39.64 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, relationship
According to leading scientists, the deadliest animal on the planet is the Bearded Norris.
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has 39.64 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, science
One day there was a tortoise walking on the road. Along came the hare that had once been defeated by the tortoise in a race. The hare was so angry from what had happened to him so he challenged him to another race. The tortoise gladly accepted his challenge. It ended up that the tortoise and the hare never finished the race because they both took a nap right before the finish line. So the tortoise is still the champion of the race. So remember this you snooze you loose!
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has 39.64 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal
If toast always lands butter-side down and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast to the back of a cat and drop it?
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has 39.62 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: animal
Why do female black widow spiders kill the males after mating? To stop the snoring before it starts.
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has 39.50 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, men
Two blondes were walking through the woods when one looked down and said "Oh, look at the deer tracks." The other blonde looks and says "Those aren't deer tracks, those are wolf tracks." "No. Those are deer tracks." They keep arguing, and arguing, about half hour later they were both killed by a train.
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has 39.50 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde
Two Bear Hunters Two men went bear hunting. While one stayed in the cabin, the other went out looking for a bear. He soon found a huge bear, shot at it but only wounded it. The enraged bear charged toward him, he dropped his rifle and started running for the cabin as fast as he could. He ran pretty fast but the bear was just a little faster and gained on him with every step. Just as he reached the open cabin door, he tripped and fell flat. Too close behind to stop, the bear tripped over him and went rolling into the cabin. The man jumped up, closed the cabin door and yelled to his friend inside, "You skin this one while I go and get another one!"
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has 39.50 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, hunting
Q: Why did the elephant paint himself diffrent colours? A: So he could hide in the crayon box!
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has 39.50 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal
What do cows wear when they are on vacation in Hawaii? Moo moos.
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has 39.50 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, geography, holiday
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