The best animal jokes

The T. Rexes were all angry. You know why? Because these huge muscular creatures with these big muscular legs and these tiny little hands! How would you feel, 60 million years never being able to masturbate? That is the real reason dinosaurs are extinct right there.
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has 39.90 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: animal
They say animal behavior can warn you when an earthquake is coming. Like the night before that last earthquake hit, our family dog took the car keys and drove to Arizona.
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has 39.90 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: animal
My tomcat used to stay out all night, so I took him to the vet and had him neutered. Now he still stays out all night – it turns out he likes to watch!
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has 39.90 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: animal
Chuck Norris was sitting around a campfire with two cowboys. The cowboys were competing to see which one is more hardcore. The first one says," Once, I was charged by an angry bull. I proceeded to jump on its back and kill it by gorging its eyes out." The second says, " Once I was swimming in a river, and an annocanda tried to strangle me. I ripped its head off with my teeth." Chuck norris just smiles and continues tending to the campfire with his penis.
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has 39.80 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, cowboy, death
What do ducks wear to party's? A duck-sedo!
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has 39.78 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal, duck, party
A farmer was bragging. "I've got 350 sheep." "That's a lot of sheep," said another farmer. "And I've got 500 chickens," bragged the farmer. "That's a lot of chickens," answered the second farmer. "And 40 bulls," added the farmer. The other farmer replied, "Boy! That IS a lot of bull."
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has 39.64 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: Why did the lion brake up with his girlfriend? A: Cuz she was a CHEETAH!
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has 39.64 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, relationship
According to leading scientists, the deadliest animal on the planet is the Bearded Norris.
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has 39.64 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, science
One day there was a tortoise walking on the road. Along came the hare that had once been defeated by the tortoise in a race. The hare was so angry from what had happened to him so he challenged him to another race. The tortoise gladly accepted his challenge. It ended up that the tortoise and the hare never finished the race because they both took a nap right before the finish line. So the tortoise is still the champion of the race. So remember this you snooze you loose!
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has 39.64 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal
Two blondes were walking through the woods when one looked down and said "Oh, look at the deer tracks." The other blonde looks and says "Those aren't deer tracks, those are wolf tracks." "No. Those are deer tracks." They keep arguing, and arguing, about half hour later they were both killed by a train.
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has 39.50 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde
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