The best animal jokes

They say animal behavior can warn you when an earthquake is coming. Like the night before that last earthquake hit, our family dog took the car keys and drove to Arizona.
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has 39.90 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: animal
Why are there no zebras in Czech zoos? Czechs and stripes don’t mix.
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has 39.90 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: animal
Thousands of years ago cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.
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has 39.90 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: animal
What do you call a man with a rabbit up his jumper? Warren.
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has 39.78 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q. Where do polar bears vote? A. The North Poll.
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has 39.64 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal
A farmer was bragging. "I've got 350 sheep." "That's a lot of sheep," said another farmer. "And I've got 500 chickens," bragged the farmer. "That's a lot of chickens," answered the second farmer. "And 40 bulls," added the farmer. The other farmer replied, "Boy! That IS a lot of bull."
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has 39.64 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal
What's a moo hoo for a tug-of-war between two longhorns? A bull pull.
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has 39.64 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, war
How are tigers like sergeants in the army? They both wear stripes.
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has 39.50 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, military
A baby hedgehog lost itself, in the garden. Sad, he strolls from here to there, whereupon he bumps in a cactus and full of hope he says: Mama, is that you?
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has 39.47 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: animal
A guy enters a bar carrying an alligator. Says to the patrons, "Here’s a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside. The gator will close his mouth for one minute, then open it, and I'll remove my unit unscathed. If it works, everyone buys me drinks." The crowd agrees. The guy drops his pants and puts his privates in the gator's mouth. Gator closes mouth. After a minute, the guy grabs a beer bottle and bangs the gator on the top of its head. The gator opens wide, and he removes his genitals unscathed. Everyone buys him drinks. Then he says: "I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try." After a while, a hand goes up in the back of the bar. It's a woman. "I'll give it a try," she says, "but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with the beer bottle."
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has 39.47 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: animal
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