The best animal jokes

Why did the spider buy a car? So he could take it out for a spin!
Vote:
has 40.46 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: animal, car
What do you call a man with a rabbit up his jumper? Warren.
Vote:
has 40.39 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: animal
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
Vote:
has 40.24 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, horse
Three blondes were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks. The first blonde said, “Those are deer tracks.” The second blonde said, “No those are elk tracks.” The third blonde said, “You’re both wrong, those are moose tracks.” The blondes were still arguing when the train hit them. Emma: So, what kind of tracks were they?
Vote:
has 39.94 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde
Chuck Norris and Jean-Claude Van Damme play tug a war with live annacondas.
Vote:
has 39.94 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal, celebrity, Chuck Norris, war
Q: What did the seal say when found nuts in the sea? A: "Look I found deep nuts."
Vote:
has 39.94 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal, communication, dirty
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road without looking both ways? "Dead."
Vote:
has 39.90 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: animal, death
Jesse starts wailing to the vet, "you gotta save my dog, he looks real bad - please you just gotta!" "There, there Jesse, your dog just has a broken hip he'll be fine in no time. My fee, of course, will be $1,500." Jesse starts to wail - "oh, my dog's going to die!!!"
Vote:
has 39.90 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: animal
The T. Rexes were all angry. You know why? Because these huge muscular creatures with these big muscular legs and these tiny little hands! How would you feel, 60 million years never being able to masturbate? That is the real reason dinosaurs are extinct right there.
Vote:
has 39.90 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: animal
Two bats are hanging upside down on a branch. One asks the other, "Do you recall your worst day last year?" The other responds, "Yes, the day I had diarrhea!"
Vote:
has 39.90 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: animal
<<<126127128129
More jokes →
Page 126 of 152.