According to leading scientists, the deadliest animal on the planet is the Bearded Norris.
Vote:
Why doesn't Sweden export it's cattle?
It wants to keep it's Stockholm!
Q: What do women and cats have in common?
A: Pussy farts.
I had a knock at my door earlier, it was a policeman…
“Mr Cook?”
“Yes,” I replied.
“I’m afraid your dog has just been reported to have chased someone on a bike.”
I said, “That’s bullshit – my dog doesn’t have a bike!”
What do cows wear when they are on vacation in Hawaii?
Moo moos.
What must a policeman have before searching a rabbits home?
A search warren.
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and sheep?
A wooly jumper.
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road without looking both ways?
"Dead."
Why did the frog go to the mall?
Because he wanted to go hopping.
Three sons left home to make their fortunes, and they all did very, very well for themselves.
They got together recently and were discussing what they each had done to benefit their aging mother.
"Well," said the first one, "I bought Mom a huge house in Beverly Hills."
"I bought her a Mercedes and hired a full-time driver for her."
"I've got you both beat," said the third. "I bought her a miraculous parrot that can recite any Bible verse you tell it to."
A little later, the mother sent out a thank you letter to all three sons.
"Gerald - the house you bought was too big.
I only live in one room, but I have to clean the entire house.
Milton - the car is useless because I don't go anywhere because I'm too old.
But Robert - you know exactly what I like.
The chicken was delicious."