The best animal jokes

Jesse starts wailing to the vet, "you gotta save my dog, he looks real bad - please you just gotta!" "There, there Jesse, your dog just has a broken hip he'll be fine in no time. My fee, of course, will be $1,500." Jesse starts to wail - "oh, my dog's going to die!!!"
Vote:
has 39.90 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: animal
The T. Rexes were all angry. You know why? Because these huge muscular creatures with these big muscular legs and these tiny little hands! How would you feel, 60 million years never being able to masturbate? That is the real reason dinosaurs are extinct right there.
Vote:
has 39.90 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: animal
Two bats are hanging upside down on a branch. One asks the other, "Do you recall your worst day last year?" The other responds, "Yes, the day I had diarrhea!"
Vote:
has 39.90 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: animal
They say animal behavior can warn you when an earthquake is coming. Like the night before that last earthquake hit, our family dog took the car keys and drove to Arizona.
Vote:
has 39.90 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q. Where do polar bears vote? A. The North Poll.
Vote:
has 39.78 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal
Why did the duck get arrested? because he was selling quack.
Vote:
has 39.78 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal, cop, duck
A farmer was bragging. "I've got 350 sheep." "That's a lot of sheep," said another farmer. "And I've got 500 chickens," bragged the farmer. "That's a lot of chickens," answered the second farmer. "And 40 bulls," added the farmer. The other farmer replied, "Boy! That IS a lot of bull."
Vote:
has 39.64 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal
What's a moo hoo for a tug-of-war between two longhorns? A bull pull.
Vote:
has 39.64 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, war
There's two fish in a tank, and one says ''How do you drive this thing?''
Vote:
has 39.50 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal
How are tigers like sergeants in the army? They both wear stripes.
Vote:
has 39.50 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, military
<<<126127128129
More jokes →
Page 126 of 151.