A fellow always wanted to own a pet skunk, so in the dead of winter, he took his girlfriend with him to go hunting for one. After a bit of waiting, they bagged a skunk and brought him back to the truck. The skunk was very scared and very cold, so the guy asks his girlfriend if she can keep the skunk between her legs to keep him warm. "But what about the smell?" asks his girlfriend. "Oh, he'll get used to it, just like I did."
Chuck norris can eat chicken tonight tomorow.
Why can’t elephants go on the beach? Because they can’t keep there trunks up.
What do you call a dinosaur that's a noisy sleeper? A Brontosnorus.
Chuck Norris once rode a bull, and nine months later it had a calf.
The last time Chuck Norris was hungry, all the dinosaurs suddenly got extinct...
Zebras are just horses that escaped from prison.
What does a spider do when he gets angry? He goes up the wall!
A mother was reading a book about animals to her 3 year old daughter. Mother: "What does the cow say?" Child: "Moo!" Mother: "Great! What does the cat say?" Child: "Meow." Mother: "Oh, you're so smart! What does the frog say?" And this wide-eyed little 3 year-old looked up at her mother and in her deepest voice replied, "Bud."