In the year 3000, animals rule the Earth; they talk and drive sportscars.
An owl enters a psychologist's office.
The psychologist says to the owl, "What is your problem?"
The owl replies, "I always sleep at night and am awake during the day. I am an owl and we usually are awake during the night."
The psychologist tells the owl to come back in two days to solve his problem, as he is very busy.
The next night, a cat comes in.
He says, "I always sleep during the day. Like my friends, I want to sleep during the night. Can you help?"
The psychologist advises the cat to come back in one day, as he is very busy.
The next day, the cat comes very, very, very early for his appointment and ends up at the same time as the owl.
The cat is told to wait outside.
He peeks in the owl's appointment and figures out his problem... and his address!
During the next evening, when the owl usually comes in for his appointment, the cat comes in.
The psychologist asks the cat why he is here instead of the owl.
The cat replies, "He is here!" and poops on the floor, explaining,
"I was sent to deliver him."
Chuck Norris doesn't bug hunt as that signifies a probability of failure, he goes bug killing.
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Why is manna from heaven like horse hay?
Both are food from aloft!
What does a frog say when it sees something' great?
Toadly awesome!
Why couldnt the teddy bear eat any more thanksgiving dinner?
He was already stuffed!
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There are two cows in a field.
One says to the other:
"So what do you think of mad cow disease?"
The other replies: "I don't know, I'm a chicken!"
What kind of shoes do frogs wear?
Open toad!
Q: What is a zebra?
A: A horse behind bars.
Q:Why don't giraffes like fast food?
A:Because they can't catch it!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The interrupting cow.
Interrupting cow wh-
Moooooo!
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