The best animal jokes

Q: What do you get when 100 rabbits stand in a row and 99 take a step back? A: A receding hare line.
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has 31.03 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: What did the pig say at the beach on a hot summer's day? A: I'm bakin'.
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has 31.03 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal
A bear walks into a bar in Billings, Montana and sits down. He bangs on the bar with his paw and demands a beer. The bartender approaches and says, "We don't serve beer to bears in bars in Billings." The bear, becoming angry, demands again that he be served a beer. The bartender tells him again, more forcefully, "We don't serve beer to belligerent bears in bars in Billings." The bear, very angry now, says, "If you don't serve me a beer, I'm going to eat that lady sitting at the end of the bar." The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings." The bear goes to the end of the bar, and, as promised, eats the woman. He comes back to his seat and again demands a beer. The bartender states, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings who are on drugs." The bear says, "I'm NOT on drugs." Te bartender says, "You are now. That was a barbitchyouate."
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has 30.77 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bar, bartender, beer
Zebras are just horses that escaped from prison.
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has 30.43 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, prison
Two Bear Hunters Two men went bear hunting. While one stayed in the cabin, the other went out looking for a bear. He soon found a huge bear, shot at it but only wounded it. The enraged bear charged toward him, he dropped his rifle and started running for the cabin as fast as he could. He ran pretty fast but the bear was just a little faster and gained on him with every step. Just as he reached the open cabin door, he tripped and fell flat. Too close behind to stop, the bear tripped over him and went rolling into the cabin. The man jumped up, closed the cabin door and yelled to his friend inside, "You skin this one while I go and get another one!"
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has 30.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: animal, hunting
On the street strolls a chick dressed with fur from head to toes. Near hear another chick stops and says to hear: Do you imagine how many animals they had to kill for this coat? But do you know with how many animals I had to sleep with for it?
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has 30.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: animal
What do you call a dog wearing ear muffs? Anything you want, he cant hear you.
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has 30.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: animal
Law of Cat Disinterest A cat's interest level will vary in inverse proportion to the amount of effort a human expends in trying to interest him.
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has 30.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: animal
Cats took many thousands of years to domesticate humans.
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has 30.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: Where did the newlywed horses stay? A: In the bridle suite.
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has 30.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: animal
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