What kind of shoes do frogs wear?
Open toad!
Q: What's a tiger running a copy machine called?
A: A copycat!
A rabbit went to the fortune-teller, “what do you see in my future?” asked the rabbit.
“Very soon,” replied the fortune-teller, “you will meet a pretty young girl who will want to know everything about you.”
“That’s great!” said the rabbit, hopping up and down.
“But when will I meet her?”
“Next week in science class,” said the fortune-teller.
The more people I meet, the more I like my cat.
What’s the difference between a pigeon and a nigger?
The pigeon is white and the nigger can’t fly!
Vote:
Q: What do you get when 100 rabbits stand in a row and 99 take a step back?
A: A receding hare line.
Q: What did the pig say at the beach on a hot summer's day?
A: I'm bakin'.
A bear walks into a bar in Billings, Montana and sits down. He bangs on the bar with his paw and demands a beer.
The bartender approaches and says, "We don't serve beer to bears in bars in Billings."
The bear, becoming angry, demands again that he be served a beer.
The bartender tells him again, more forcefully, "We don't serve beer to belligerent bears in bars in Billings."
The bear, very angry now, says, "If you don't serve me a beer, I'm going to eat that lady sitting at the end of the bar."
The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings."
The bear goes to the end of the bar, and, as promised, eats the woman. He comes back to his seat and again demands a beer.
The bartender states, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings who are on drugs."
The bear says, "I'm NOT on drugs."
Te bartender says, "You are now. That was a barbitchyouate."
Zebras are just horses that escaped from prison.
Why didn’t the internet get any e-mail?
Because his e-dog kept chasing the e-postman.