The best animal jokes

Your house is so dirty I saw rats on dirt bikes.
Vote: has 23.98 % from 82 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, dirty
Bears do not eat bears. Tigers do not eat tigers. Dogs do not eat dogs. Cats stopped eating kebabs.
Vote: has 22.36 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, cat, dog, food
I heard my tire thumping, I thought it was flat. When I looked at my tire I discovered your cat. Sorry...
Vote: has 22.36 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
A plowhorse, a honeybee and an old geezer are debating about which of them is the greatest. 
The horse says, "I can plow all day long to provide food for dozens of people!" "
The bee says, "I pollinate all the plants every year and make honey besides!" 
 The old geezer says... (We're waiting...)
Vote: has 22.34 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, horse, old people
"Yes, ma'am," the old salt confided to the inquisitive lady, "I fell over the side of the ship, and a shark he come along and grabbed me by the leg." "Merciful providence!" his hearer gasped. "And what did you do?" "Let 'im 'ave the leg, o' course, ma'am. I never argues with sharks."
Vote: has 22.18 % from 6 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
What does a frog say when it sees something' great? Toadly awesome!
Vote: has 22.18 % from 6 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
How to catch a polar bear: Go up north and find a frozen lake or pond. Cut a large hole in the ice. Open a can of green peas, and place the peas around the edge of the hole single file. Hide behind a nearby rock. When the bear comes up to take a pea, kick him in the ice-hole!
Vote: has 22.18 % from 6 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
''I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.''
Vote: has 22.18 % from 6 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
A mailman meets a boy and a huge dog. ‘Does your dog bite?’ asks the mailman. ‘No,’ replies the boy. And the dog bites the mailman’s leg. ‘You said he doesn’t bite!’ yells the mailman. ‘That’s not my dog,’ replies the boy.
Vote: has 22.18 % from 6 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water? He set a new lap record.
Vote: has 22.18 % from 6 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal