The best animal jokes

Two drunks had just gotten thrown out of the bar and are walking down the street when they come across this dog, sitting on the curb, licking his balls. They stand there watching and after a while one of them says, " I sure wish I could do that!" The other one looks at him and says, "Well, I think I'd pet him first".
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has 31.56 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bar, dog, drunk
What kind of shoes do frogs wear? Open toad!
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has 31.56 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: animal
What do frogs do with paper? Rip-it!
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has 31.56 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: What's a tiger running a copy machine called? A: A copycat!
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has 31.56 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: animal
There was a papa mole, a momma mole, and a baby mole. They lived in a hole out in the country near a farmhouse. Papa mole poked his head out of the hole and said, "Mmmm, I smell sausage!" Momma mole poked her head outside the hole and said, "Mmmm, I smell pancakes!" Baby mole tried to stick his head outside but couldn't because of the two bigger moles. Baby mole said, "The only thing I smell is molasses."
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has 31.56 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: animal
A rabbit went to the fortune-teller, “what do you see in my future?” asked the rabbit. “Very soon,” replied the fortune-teller, “you will meet a pretty young girl who will want to know everything about you.” “That’s great!” said the rabbit, hopping up and down. “But when will I meet her?” “Next week in science class,” said the fortune-teller.
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has 31.56 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: animal
The more people I meet, the more I like my cat.
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has 31.56 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: animal
Question: What’s the difference between a woman with PMS and a pit bull? Answer: Lipstick.
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has 31.03 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, women
Q: What do you get when 100 rabbits stand in a row and 99 take a step back? A: A receding hare line.
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has 31.03 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal
A fellow always wanted to own a pet skunk, so in the dead of winter, he took his girlfriend with him to go hunting for one. After a bit of waiting, they bagged a skunk and brought him back to the truck. The skunk was very scared and very cold, so the guy asks his girlfriend if she can keep the skunk between her legs to keep him warm. "But what about the smell?" asks his girlfriend. "Oh, he'll get used to it, just like I did."
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has 30.77 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting, hunting, relationship
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