The best animal jokes

I love my cat. My cat does not care.
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What would happen if tarantulas were as big as horses? If one bit you, you could ride it to hospital!
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More jokes about: animal, hospital
What's black and white and green? A frog sitting on a newspaper.
Vote: has 27.32 % from 5 votes. Send joke:
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Two drunks had just gotten thrown out of the bar and are walking down the street when they come across this dog, sitting on the curb, licking his balls. They stand there watching and after a while one of them says, " I sure wish I could do that!" The other one looks at him and says, "Well, I think I'd pet him first".
Vote: has 26.98 % from 10 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bar, dog, drunk
Q: What's the difference between a dog and a fox? A: About eight beers.
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More jokes about: alcohol, animal, beer
A blind man was describing his favorite sport - parachuting. When asked how this was accomplished, he said that things were all done for him: "I am placed in the door and told when to jump. My hand is placed on my release ring for me, and out I go." "But how do you know when you are going to land?" he was asked. "I have a very keen sense of smell and I can smell the trees and grass when I am 300 feet from the ground," he answered. But how do you know when to lift your legs for the final arrival on the ground?" he was again asked. He quickly answered "Oh, the dog's leash goes slack."
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What kind of shoes do frogs wear? Open toad!
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What do frogs do with paper? Rip-it!
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What do you call a dinosaur that's a noisy sleeper? A Brontosnorus.
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How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight? Have YOU ever seen a rabbit with glasses?
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