Chuck Norris once rode a bull, and nine months later it had a calf.
Why didn’t the internet get any e-mail? Because his e-dog kept chasing the e-postman.
Question: Why did the Army send do many women with PMS to the Persian Gulf? Answer: They fought like animals and retained water for 4 days.
Question: What’s the difference between a woman with PMS and a pit bull? Answer: Lipstick.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. What do you call a dog with no legs? You don't because it won't come.
Chuck Norris and Jean-Claude Van Damme play tug a war with live annacondas.
What do you call a dog wearing ear muffs? Anything you want, he cant hear you.
Law of Cat Disinterest A cat's interest level will vary in inverse proportion to the amount of effort a human expends in trying to interest him.
A dog with three legs walks into a Wild West bar and says, ‘I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.’
A man walks by a table in a casino and passes three men and a dog playing cards. ‘That’s a very smart dog,’ says the man. ‘He’s not so clever,’ says one of the players. ‘Every time he gets a good hand, he wags his tail.’