Cats took many thousands of years to domesticate humans.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. What do you call a dog with no legs? You don't because it won't come.
A fellow always wanted to own a pet skunk, so in the dead of winter, he took his girlfriend with him to go hunting for one. After a bit of waiting, they bagged a skunk and brought him back to the truck. The skunk was very scared and very cold, so the guy asks his girlfriend if she can keep the skunk between her legs to keep him warm. "But what about the smell?" asks his girlfriend. "Oh, he'll get used to it, just like I did."
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
Why didn’t the internet get any e-mail? Because his e-dog kept chasing the e-postman.
Question: Why did the Army send do many women with PMS to the Persian Gulf? Answer: They fought like animals and retained water for 4 days.
Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating? To stop the snoring before it starts.
Q: What's the difference between a dog and a fox? A: About eight beers.
Chuck Norris once rode a bull, and nine months later it had a calf.
Zebras are just horses that escaped from prison.