The best animal jokes

Little Susan was helping her mother to set the table, cause her father invited over his company managers. When everybody sat on the table, her mother noticed that a flatware set was missing. "Susan, why didn’t you put flatware on Mr. Marc’s seat?" "I thought that I didn’t have to, since dad told us that Mr. Marc, eats like a pig…"
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has 35.12 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: animal, dad, kids
What is the longest organ in a sheep's body? A New Zealander's cock!
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has 34.87 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: animal
One day little Bill was playing in the sand out of the sun underneath his front steps. Soon his mother walked up the steps without underwear due to the heat of the day and little Bill looked up and yelled out, ''Mother, what's that black thing that you're carrying under your dress?'' ''Don't worry, Bill, it's just a squirrel,'' she said. So little Bill kept on playing, and soon his grandmother came along, also without underwear, and little Bill looked up and said, ''Grammie what is that hairy animal under your dress?'' ''Ah, it's a squirrel,'' she answered. So little Bill asked his grandmother, ''Why is it that your squirrel is grey intead of black?'' The grandmother replied, ''If your mother's squirrel had popped the nuts that this one has popped, it would be gray too.''
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has 34.87 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: animal
A mailman meets a boy and a huge dog. ‘Does your dog bite?’ asks the mailman. ‘No,’ replies the boy. And the dog bites the mailman’s leg. ‘You said he doesn’t bite!’ yells the mailman. ‘That’s not my dog,’ replies the boy.
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has 34.87 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: animal
Yesterday I saw a man trying to chat up a cheetah. ‘Hello,’ I thought. ‘He’s trying to pull a fast one.’
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has 34.78 % from 6 votes. More jokes about: animal
A passenger train is creeping along, slowly. Finally it creaks to a halt. A passenger sees a conductor walking by outside. "What's going on?" she yells out the window. "Cow on the track!" replies the conductor. Ten minutes later, the train resumes its slow pace. Within five minutes, however, it stops again. The woman sees the same conductor walk again. She leans out the window and yells, "What happened? Did we catch up with the cow again?"
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has 34.72 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, time, travel
What is a Zebra? A Z-bra is 25 sizes bigger than an A-bra.
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has 34.72 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, women
Q: What's the difference between a dog and a fox? A: About eight beers.
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has 34.72 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, beer
Q: What do you get when 100 rabbits stand in a row and 99 take a step back? A: A receding hare line.
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has 34.72 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal
Why did the dolphin feel crabby? Because he ate too many crabs.
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has 34.72 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
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