The best animal jokes

Why did the dolphin feel crabby? Because he ate too many crabs.
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has 34.72 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
What’s the difference between a black and a white bull? The white bull does: “Mooo”. The black bull does: “Hey man, Mooo, man!”
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has 34.65 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: animal, racist
Q: What did the seal say when found nuts in the sea? A: "Look I found deep nuts."
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has 34.40 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: animal, communication, dirty
In the year 3000, animals rule the Earth; they talk and drive sportscars. An owl enters a psychologist's office. The psychologist says to the owl, "What is your problem?" The owl replies, "I always sleep at night and am awake during the day. I am an owl and we usually are awake during the night." The psychologist tells the owl to come back in two days to solve his problem, as he is very busy. The next night, a cat comes in. He says, "I always sleep during the day. Like my friends, I want to sleep during the night. Can you help?" The psychologist advises the cat to come back in one day, as he is very busy. The next day, the cat comes very, very, very early for his appointment and ends up at the same time as the owl. The cat is told to wait outside. He peeks in the owl's appointment and figures out his problem... and his address! During the next evening, when the owl usually comes in for his appointment, the cat comes in. The psychologist asks the cat why he is here instead of the owl. The cat replies, "He is here!" and poops on the floor, explaining, "I was sent to deliver him."
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has 34.25 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: animal, car, cat, disgusting, time
Chuck Norris doesn't bug hunt as that signifies a probability of failure, he goes bug killing.
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has 34.19 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death, hunting
What's a moo hoo for a tug-of-war between two longhorns? A bull pull.
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has 34.13 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, war
Q: What do you call a fight between you and your dad? A: Dady issues!
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has 34.13 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, dad
A passenger train is creeping along, slowly. Finally it creaks to a halt. A passenger sees a conductor walking by outside. "What's going on?" she yells out the window. "Cow on the track!" replies the conductor. Ten minutes later, the train resumes its slow pace. Within five minutes, however, it stops again. The woman sees the same conductor walk again. She leans out the window and yells, "What happened? Did we catch up with the cow again?"
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has 34.09 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, time, travel
Q: What's the difference between a dog and a fox? A: About eight beers.
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has 34.09 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, beer
Three animals were having a drink in a cafe, when the owner asked for the money. I'm not paying," said the duck. "I've only got one bill and I'm not breaking it." "I've spent my last buck," said the deer. "Then the duck'll have to pay," said the skunk. "Getting here cost me my last scent."
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has 33.50 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, duck, money
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