The best animal jokes

Zebras are just horses that escaped from prison.
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One day a blonde, brunette, and redhead were stuck on an island 100 miles away from civilization. The only way to get home was to swim. The brunette swam 50 miles before drowning. The redhead swam 64 miles before getting attacked by a shark. The blonde went 99 miles but got tried a swam back to the island.
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Three animals were having a drink in a cafe, when the owner asked for the money. I'm not paying," said the duck. "I've only got one bill and I'm not breaking it." "I've spent my last buck," said the deer. "Then the duck'll have to pay," said the skunk. "Getting here cost me my last scent."
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Why do female black widow spiders kill the males after mating? To stop the snoring before it starts.
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Why did the dinosaur have so few friends? Because Tyrannosaurus reeks!
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I love my cat. My cat does not care.
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Q: What's gray on the inside and clear on the outside? A: An elephant in a plastic bag.
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Your house is so dirty I saw rats on dirt bikes.
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Bears do not eat bears. Tigers do not eat tigers. Dogs do not eat dogs. Cats stopped eating kebabs.
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More jokes about: animal, cat, dog, food
I heard my tire thumping, I thought it was flat. When I looked at my tire I discovered your cat. Sorry...
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More jokes about: animal