The best animal jokes

Why can’t elephants go on the beach? Because they can’t keep there trunks up.
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has 32.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal
What's the difference between an old cat and a baby kitten? An old cat scratches and bites but a little pussy never hurt anybody!
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has 32.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: age, animal, cat, kitty
Q: What do women and cats have in common? A: Pussy farts.
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has 32.38 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting, fart, women
A fellow always wanted to own a pet skunk, so in the dead of winter, he took his girlfriend with him to go hunting for one. After a bit of waiting, they bagged a skunk and brought him back to the truck. The skunk was very scared and very cold, so the guy asks his girlfriend if she can keep the skunk between her legs to keep him warm. "But what about the smell?" asks his girlfriend. "Oh, he'll get used to it, just like I did."
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has 31.97 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting, hunting, relationship
What does a spider do when he gets angry? He goes up the wall!
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has 31.97 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal
A mother was reading a book about animals to her 3 year old daughter. Mother: "What does the cow say?" Child: "Moo!" Mother: "Great! What does the cat say?" Child: "Meow." Mother: "Oh, you're so smart! What does the frog say?" And this wide-eyed little 3 year-old looked up at her mother and in her deepest voice replied, "Bud."
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has 31.97 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: age, animal, kids
A hippo once told me he hated gangs, but then he joined one What a HippoCrip.
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has 31.97 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: Why do gorillas have big noses? A: Because they have big fingers!
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has 31.56 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: animal
A mouse chanced on a pool of whiskey that was the result of a raid by prohibition-enforcement agents. The mouse had had no previous acquaintance with liquor, but now, being thirsty, it took a sip of the strange fluid, and then retired into its hole to think. After some thought, it returned to the pool, and took a second sip of the whiskey. It then withdrew again to its hole, and thought. Presently, it issued and drew near the pool for the third time. Now, it took a big drink. Nor did it retreat to its hole. Instead, it climbed on a soap box, stood on its hind legs, bristled its whiskers, and squeaked: "Now, bring on your cat!"
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has 31.56 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal
Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating? To stop the snoring before it starts.
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has 31.56 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: animal, men
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