The best animal jokes

A mother was reading a book about animals to her 3 year old daughter. Mother: "What does the cow say?" Child: "Moo!" Mother: "Great! What does the cat say?" Child: "Meow." Mother: "Oh, you're so smart! What does the frog say?" And this wide-eyed little 3 year-old looked up at her mother and in her deepest voice replied, "Bud."
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has 31.97 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: age, animal, kids
A hippo once told me he hated gangs, but then he joined one What a HippoCrip.
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has 31.97 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: Why do gorillas have big noses? A: Because they have big fingers!
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has 31.56 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: animal
Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating? To stop the snoring before it starts.
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has 31.56 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: animal, men
Two drunks had just gotten thrown out of the bar and are walking down the street when they come across this dog, sitting on the curb, licking his balls. They stand there watching and after a while one of them says, " I sure wish I could do that!" The other one looks at him and says, "Well, I think I'd pet him first".
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has 31.56 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bar, dog, drunk
What kind of shoes do frogs wear? Open toad!
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has 31.56 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: What's a tiger running a copy machine called? A: A copycat!
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has 31.56 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: animal
Why didn’t the internet get any e-mail? Because his e-dog kept chasing the e-postman.
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has 31.48 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog, internet, IT
A guy goes into an antique shop. He's browsing around the shop and comes across a brass rat. He picks up the rat and is looking at it when the shop owner approaches him. He asks the owner how much the Brass Rat is. The shop owner says $20 For the rat and $10 for the story behind it. The customers say I don't need to know the story but I'll buy the rat. So he pays for the rat and leaves the shop. After about 50 yards he hears a Wierd noise behind him and so looks around. There's a bunch of rats following him so he picks up the pace a walks faster but the noise gets louder. He glances behind and there are hundreds of rats following him so he starts to run. Still, the noise gets louder and there are thousands of rats chasing him. He comes to a bridge over the river and thinks the rats are chasing him because of the Brass Rat, he has so he throws the rat as far as he can into the river. All the rats that were chasing him then all jump into the river and drown. The guy thinks for a while and then walks back to the shop. As he enters the shop the owner who saw him coming said I bet you came back for the story behind the Brass Rat did you? The customer says no I didn't. Have you got a brass Nigger?
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has 31.14 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: animal, business, customer service, money, racist
What’s the difference between a pigeon and a nigger? The pigeon is white and the nigger can’t fly!
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has 31.13 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: animal, black people
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