The best animal jokes

What are cat-erpillars afraid of? Dog-erpillars.
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has 30.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: What do you call a cow that's had an abortion? A: De-calf-i-nated.
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has 30.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: Where did the newlywed horses stay? A: In the bridle suite.
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has 30.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: animal
Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."
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has 30.36 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death, food, life
A mother was reading a book about animals to her 3 year old daughter. Mother: "What does the cow say?" Child: "Moo!" Mother: "Great! What does the cat say?" Child: "Meow." Mother: "Oh, you're so smart! What does the frog say?" And this wide-eyed little 3 year-old looked up at her mother and in her deepest voice replied, "Bud."
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has 30.11 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: age, animal, kids
What’s the difference between a pigeon and a nigger? The pigeon is white and the nigger can’t fly!
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has 29.99 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: animal, black people
Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating? To stop the snoring before it starts.
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has 29.93 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal, men
Two drunks had just gotten thrown out of the bar and are walking down the street when they come across this dog, sitting on the curb, licking his balls. They stand there watching and after a while one of them says, " I sure wish I could do that!" The other one looks at him and says, "Well, I think I'd pet him first".
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has 29.93 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bar, dog, drunk
Why can’t elephants go on the beach? Because they can’t keep there trunks up.
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has 29.93 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal
So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says ''Your eyes sparkle like diamonds''. I said, ''Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck'
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has 29.93 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal
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