A fellow always wanted to own a pet skunk, so in the dead of winter, he took his girlfriend with him to go hunting for one.
After a bit of waiting, they bagged a skunk and brought him back to the truck.
The skunk was very scared and very cold, so the guy asks his girlfriend if she can keep the skunk between her legs to keep him warm.
"But what about the smell?" asks his girlfriend.
"Oh, he'll get used to it, just like I did."
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Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder.
Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky.
Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."
Q. How do rednecks have safe sex?
A. They mark the sheep that kick!
What are cat-erpillars afraid of?
Dog-erpillars.
Zebras are just horses that escaped from prison.
Chuck Norris once rode a bull, and nine months later it had a calf.
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What’s the difference between a black and a white bull?
The white bull does: “Mooo”.
The black bull does: “Hey man, Mooo, man!”
The last time Chuck Norris was hungry, all the dinosaurs suddenly got extinct...
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Question: Why did the Army send do many women with PMS to the Persian Gulf?
Answer: They fought like animals and retained water for 4 days.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
You don't because it won't come.