Is it just me, or do alligators always look like they are in the middle of a push-up?
Little Susan was helping her mother to set the table, cause her father invited over his company managers. When everybody sat on the table, her mother noticed that a flatware set was missing. "Susan, why didn’t you put flatware on Mr. Marc’s seat?" "I thought that I didn’t have to, since dad told us that Mr. Marc, eats like a pig…"
What’s the difference between a pigeon and a nigger? The pigeon is white and the nigger can’t fly!
Q: What do you call a chilly dog sitting on bunny? A: A Cold dog on a bun.
What's black and white and green? A frog sitting on a newspaper.
What happens when you mix a frog with a bathtub scrubby-mit? A rubbit!
A circus owner walked into a bar to see everyone crowded about a table watching a little show. On the table was an upside down pot and a duck tap dancing on it. The circus owner was so impressed that he offered to buy the duck from its owner. After some wheeling and dealing, they settled for $10,000 for the duck and the pot. Three days later the circus owner runs back to the bar in anger, "Your duck is a ripoff! I put him on the pot before a whole audience, and he didn't dance a single step!" "What!?" asked the duck's former owner, "did you remember to light the candle under the pot?"
How can you tell that elephants have been doing it in your garage? All your Hefty Bags are missing.
What is the longest organ in a sheep's body? A New Zealander's cock!
A kangaroo mom with seven babies in her pouch told another kangaroo mom, "These sleepovers are killing me."