A dog with three legs walks into a Wild West bar and says, ‘I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.’
How is cat food sold? Usually purr can!
Q: What do you call a black and white thing rolling down a hill A: A maori and a segull fighting over a fishhead.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. What do you call a dog with no legs? You don't because it won't come.
What happened to the frog's car when his parking meter expired? It got toad!!
What is the difference between turkey and mother-in-law? There is no difference: both are the best when they are cold on the table.
Question: Why did the Army send do many women with PMS to the Persian Gulf? Answer: They fought like animals and retained water for 4 days.
Q: What's the difference between a dog and a fox? A: About eight beers.
A blind man was describing his favorite sport - parachuting. When asked how this was accomplished, he said that things were all done for him: "I am placed in the door and told when to jump. My hand is placed on my release ring for me, and out I go." "But how do you know when you are going to land?" he was asked. "I have a very keen sense of smell and I can smell the trees and grass when I am 300 feet from the ground," he answered. But how do you know when to lift your legs for the final arrival on the ground?" he was again asked. He quickly answered "Oh, the dog's leash goes slack."