Why couldn't the skunk use her phone? It was out of odor!
A blonde is driving down the road and she sees a dead rabbit. She stops the car and called out, "Does anybody got any hairspray!?" A man pulls up and gives her a bottle of spray and she sprays it on the dead rabbit and the man stares and says "Why u doing that?" The blonde says "Hairspray is for dead hairs"
What is the difference between turkey and mother-in-law? There is no difference: both are the best when they are cold on the table.
Is it just me, or do alligators always look like they are in the middle of a push-up?
Q. What's black and white and green? A. A frog sitting on a newspaper.
Why did the frog read Sherlock Holmes? He liked a good croak and dagger.
What did the frog say to the fly? You are really starting to bug me!
How come sharks don’t attack lawyers? From professional courtesy.
Name an animal that lives in Lapland? A reindeer Good, now name another. Another reindeer!
Two men were walking along the street when they came upon a dog licking his dick. One man said, "I sure wish I could do that." The other replied, "You can, but you're probably going to have to pet him first."