What's green green green green green?
A frog rolling down a hill.
A kangaroo mom with seven babies in her pouch told another kangaroo mom, "These sleepovers are killing me."
A man is walking through a park when he steps in a pile of dog mess.
He pauses to wipe his shoe on the grass and sees another man step into the same pile.
‘I just did that,’ says the man, so the other man rubs his nose in it.
Q: What do you call a cow that's had an abortion?
A: De-calf-i-nated.
What does a spider do when he gets angry?
He goes up the wall!
Q: What side of the cow gives the most milk?
A: The utter side.
A hippo once told me he hated gangs, but then he joined one
What a HippoCrip.
Q: Why do gorillas have big noses?
A: Because they have big fingers!
What's the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts?
Deer Nuts are always under a buck.
A mouse chanced on a pool of whiskey that was the result of a raid by prohibition-enforcement agents.
The mouse had had no previous acquaintance with liquor, but now, being thirsty, it took a sip of the strange fluid, and then retired into its hole to think.
After some thought, it returned to the pool, and took a second sip of the whiskey.
It then withdrew again to its hole, and thought.
Presently, it issued and drew near the pool for the third time.
Now, it took a big drink. Nor did it retreat to its hole. Instead, it climbed on a soap box, stood on its hind legs, bristled its whiskers, and squeaked:
"Now, bring on your cat!"