The best animal jokes

A kangaroo mom with seven babies in her pouch told another kangaroo mom, "These sleepovers are killing me."
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has 29.01 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: animal
One day little Bill was playing in the sand out of the sun underneath his front steps. Soon his mother walked up the steps without underwear due to the heat of the day and little Bill looked up and yelled out, ''Mother, what's that black thing that you're carrying under your dress?'' ''Don't worry, Bill, it's just a squirrel,'' she said. So little Bill kept on playing, and soon his grandmother came along, also without underwear, and little Bill looked up and said, ''Grammie what is that hairy animal under your dress?'' ''Ah, it's a squirrel,'' she answered. So little Bill asked his grandmother, ''Why is it that your squirrel is grey intead of black?'' The grandmother replied, ''If your mother's squirrel had popped the nuts that this one has popped, it would be gray too.''
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has 29.01 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: animal
A dog with three legs walks into a Wild West bar and says, ‘I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.’
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has 29.01 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: animal
A mailman meets a boy and a huge dog. ‘Does your dog bite?’ asks the mailman. ‘No,’ replies the boy. And the dog bites the mailman’s leg. ‘You said he doesn’t bite!’ yells the mailman. ‘That’s not my dog,’ replies the boy.
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has 29.01 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: What do you call a cow that's had an abortion? A: De-calf-i-nated.
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has 29.01 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: animal
I got a cat the other day. I had to swerve, but I got it.
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has 28.82 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat
What is the difference between turkey and mother-in-law? There is no difference: both are the best when they are cold on the table.
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has 28.81 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: animal, black humor, food, mother in law
A blind man was describing his favorite sport - parachuting. When asked how this was accomplished, he said that things were all done for him: "I am placed in the door and told when to jump. My hand is placed on my release ring for me, and out I go." "But how do you know when you are going to land?" he was asked. "I have a very keen sense of smell and I can smell the trees and grass when I am 300 feet from the ground," he answered. But how do you know when to lift your legs for the final arrival on the ground?" he was again asked. He quickly answered "Oh, the dog's leash goes slack."
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has 28.61 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal, sport
What do you call a dinosaur that's a noisy sleeper? A Brontosnorus.
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has 28.61 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal
I love my cat. My cat does not care.
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has 28.61 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal
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