The best animal jokes

A kangaroo mom with seven babies in her pouch told another kangaroo mom, "These sleepovers are killing me."
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has 29.01 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: animal
One day little Bill was playing in the sand out of the sun underneath his front steps. Soon his mother walked up the steps without underwear due to the heat of the day and little Bill looked up and yelled out, ''Mother, what's that black thing that you're carrying under your dress?'' ''Don't worry, Bill, it's just a squirrel,'' she said. So little Bill kept on playing, and soon his grandmother came along, also without underwear, and little Bill looked up and said, ''Grammie what is that hairy animal under your dress?'' ''Ah, it's a squirrel,'' she answered. So little Bill asked his grandmother, ''Why is it that your squirrel is grey intead of black?'' The grandmother replied, ''If your mother's squirrel had popped the nuts that this one has popped, it would be gray too.''
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has 29.01 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: animal
A mailman meets a boy and a huge dog. ‘Does your dog bite?’ asks the mailman. ‘No,’ replies the boy. And the dog bites the mailman’s leg. ‘You said he doesn’t bite!’ yells the mailman. ‘That’s not my dog,’ replies the boy.
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has 29.01 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: animal
What kind of shoes do frogs wear? Open toad!
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has 29.01 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: What creature has more lives than a cat? A: A frog, after all, they croak every night.
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has 28.62 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: animal
A mouse chanced on a pool of whiskey that was the result of a raid by prohibition-enforcement agents. The mouse had had no previous acquaintance with liquor, but now, being thirsty, it took a sip of the strange fluid, and then retired into its hole to think. After some thought, it returned to the pool, and took a second sip of the whiskey. It then withdrew again to its hole, and thought. Presently, it issued and drew near the pool for the third time. Now, it took a big drink. Nor did it retreat to its hole. Instead, it climbed on a soap box, stood on its hind legs, bristled its whiskers, and squeaked: "Now, bring on your cat!"
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has 28.61 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal
A blind man was describing his favorite sport - parachuting. When asked how this was accomplished, he said that things were all done for him: "I am placed in the door and told when to jump. My hand is placed on my release ring for me, and out I go." "But how do you know when you are going to land?" he was asked. "I have a very keen sense of smell and I can smell the trees and grass when I am 300 feet from the ground," he answered. But how do you know when to lift your legs for the final arrival on the ground?" he was again asked. He quickly answered "Oh, the dog's leash goes slack."
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has 28.61 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal, sport
What do you call a dinosaur that's a noisy sleeper? A Brontosnorus.
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has 28.61 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal
I love my cat. My cat does not care.
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has 28.61 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal
The more people I meet, the more I like my cat.
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has 28.61 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal
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