How can you tell that elephants have been doing it in your garage?
All your Hefty Bags are missing.
What is the longest organ in a sheep's body?
A New Zealander's cock!
A kangaroo mom with seven babies in her pouch told another kangaroo mom, "These sleepovers are killing me."
One day little Bill was playing in the sand out of the sun underneath his front steps.
Soon his mother walked up the steps without underwear due to the heat of the day and little Bill looked up and yelled out, ''Mother, what's that black thing that you're carrying under your dress?''
''Don't worry, Bill, it's just a squirrel,'' she said.
So little Bill kept on playing, and soon his grandmother came along, also without underwear, and little Bill looked up and said, ''Grammie what is that hairy animal under your dress?''
''Ah, it's a squirrel,'' she answered.
So little Bill asked his grandmother, ''Why is it that your squirrel is grey intead of black?''
The grandmother replied, ''If your mother's squirrel had popped the nuts that this one has popped, it would be gray too.''
A dog with three legs walks into a Wild West bar and says, ‘I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.’
A mailman meets a boy and a huge dog.
‘Does your dog bite?’ asks the mailman.
‘No,’ replies the boy.
And the dog bites the mailman’s leg.
‘You said he doesn’t bite!’ yells the mailman.
‘That’s not my dog,’ replies the boy.
How is cat food sold?
Usually purr can!
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
You don't because it won't come.
What do you call a dinosaur that's a noisy sleeper?
A Brontosnorus.