A mouse chanced on a pool of whiskey that was the result of a raid by prohibition-enforcement agents.
The mouse had had no previous acquaintance with liquor, but now, being thirsty, it took a sip of the strange fluid, and then retired into its hole to think.
After some thought, it returned to the pool, and took a second sip of the whiskey.
It then withdrew again to its hole, and thought.
Presently, it issued and drew near the pool for the third time.
Now, it took a big drink. Nor did it retreat to its hole. Instead, it climbed on a soap box, stood on its hind legs, bristled its whiskers, and squeaked:
"Now, bring on your cat!"
My cat can talk.
I asked her what two minus two was and she said nothing.
A Bosnian catches a goldfish.
The goldfish says: "Let me go and I will grant you one wish."
The Bosnian says: "No way, I'll take you to the pawn shop – gold is gold."
What do you call fish poop?
BassTurds!
Q: What do you get when 100 rabbits stand in a row and 99 take a step back?
A: A receding hare line.
I got a cat the other day.
I had to swerve, but I got it.
What is the difference between turkey and mother-in-law?
There is no difference: both are the best when they are cold on the table.
Vote:
Q: What is black white and rolls around in the sand?
A: A black man and a segal fighting over a carp.
Vote:
Is it just me, or do alligators always look like they are in the middle of a push-up?
Why does the chicken is sad?
Because his dad is a cock.
Why does the chicken is even more sad?
Because he faces the same future.