The best animal jokes

Q: What did the emu say to the nurse? A: Mend her bones or walk the plank
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has 28.11 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal, nurse
Q: What is black white and rolls around in the sand? A: A black man and a segal fighting over a carp.
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has 27.81 % from 90 votes. More jokes about: animal, black people, racist
Q: What creature has more lives than a cat? A: A frog, after all, they croak every night.
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has 27.74 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: animal
One day, two skunks named In and Out, asked their mother if they could go into a store and play. Their mother said yes, but only for an hour. An hour later, only Out came back. Their mother said, "Out, you'd better go back in and find In." About 10 seconds later, Out comes back with In. Their mother asked how Out found In so quickly. "Easy." Out said. "In-stincts."
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has 27.71 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: Why did the atheist throw her watch out the window? A: She wanted to see if it was designed intelligently enough to evolve into a bird.
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has 27.60 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: animal, atheist
Three animals were having a drink in a cafe, when the owner asked for the money. I'm not paying," said the duck. "I've only got one bill and I'm not breaking it." "I've spent my last buck," said the deer. "Then the duck'll have to pay," said the skunk. "Getting here cost me my last scent."
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has 27.24 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal, duck, money
Question: Why did the Army send do many women with PMS to the Persian Gulf? Answer: They fought like animals and retained water for 4 days.
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has 27.24 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal, military, women
On the street strolls a chick dressed with fur from head to toes. Near hear another chick stops and says to hear: Do you imagine how many animals they had to kill for this coat? But do you know with how many animals I had to sleep with for it?
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has 26.98 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: animal
What did the dog say to the hot dog bun? "Are you pure bred?"
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has 26.98 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: animal
A plowhorse, a honeybee and an old geezer are debating about which of them is the greatest. 
The horse says, "I can plow all day long to provide food for dozens of people!" "
The bee says, "I pollinate all the plants every year and make honey besides!" 
 The old geezer says... (We're waiting...)
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has 26.76 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: animal, horse, old people
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