Animal testing is a terrible idea;
they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.
How do you confuse a frog?
Put it in a round bowl and tell it to take a nap in the corner.
The more people I meet, the more I like my cat.
A mother was reading a book about animals to her 3 year old daughter.
Mother: "What does the cow say?"
Child: "Moo!"
Mother: "Great! What does the cat say?"
Child: "Meow."
Mother: "Oh, you're so smart! What does the frog say?"
And this wide-eyed little 3 year-old looked up at her mother and in her deepest voice replied, "Bud."
Yo mommas so stupid when she licked a dog she said meow.
Two drunks had just gotten thrown out of the bar and are walking down the street when they come across this dog, sitting on the curb, licking his balls.
They stand there watching and after a while one of them says, " I sure wish I could do that!"
The other one looks at him and says, "Well, I think I'd pet him first".
I got a cat the other day.
I had to swerve, but I got it.
Q: What creature has more lives than a cat?
A: A frog, after all, they croak every night.
Q: What side of the cow gives the most milk?
A: The utter side.
Q: Why did the atheist throw her watch out the window?
A: She wanted to see if it was designed intelligently enough to evolve into a bird.