The best animal jokes

Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.
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has 65.19 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, food
Q: Did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic insomniac? A: He stayed up all night wondering if there was a dog.
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has 65.16 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal
Two neighbors are talking to each other. First neighbor: Do you know that my dog is so smart, he waits for the newspaper to drop at the doorstep and then delivers it to me? Second neighbor: Of course, I know that very well. First neighbor: Really, well then, how? Second neighbor: My dog came and told me.
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has 65.16 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q:Why do dogs stick their noses in women's crotches? A:Because they can.
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has 65.16 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal
How do elephants hide in the jungle? Paint their balls red and pretend they are cherries! What's the loudest noise in the jungle? Monkeys eating cherries...
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has 65.16 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, elephant
Why are rabbits like calculators? They both multiply a lot.
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has 65.16 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, math
A computer programmer happens across a frog in the road. The frog pipes up, "I'm really a beautiful princess and if you kiss me, I'll stay with you for a week". The programmer shrugs his shoulders and puts the frog in his pocket. A few minutes later, the frog says "OK, OK, if you kiss me, I'll give you great sex for a week". The programmer nods and puts the frog back in his pocket. A few minutes later, "Turn me back into a princess and I'll give you great sex for a whole year!" The programmer smiles and walks on. Finally, the frog says, "What's wrong with you? I've promised you great sex for a year from a beautiful princess and you won't even kiss a frog?" "I'm a programmer," he replies. "I don't have time for sex.But a talking frog is pretty neat."
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has 65.14 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: animal, computer, IT, programmer
Chuck Norris doesn’t ride a horse, he uses his crotch to carry it.
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has 64.88 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
When Chuck Norris wants salmon he eats the bear too.
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has 64.88 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
The mommy Cobra with her little son are taking a “walk”. The little cobra asks; "Mommy, are we poisonous?" "Yes, we are. Why you ask?" The little cobra asks again; "Are you sure that we’re poisonous?" "Yes I am!" says the mom with pride. The little one asks again; "Are you very very sure that we’re very poisonous?" "Damn sure! We’re the most poisonous snakes in the whole world! But why you ask?" The little cobra burst into tears; "Cause I bit my tongue a bit before!"
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has 64.88 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal
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