The best animal jokes

What does a cow ride when his car is broken? A COW-asaki MOO-torcycle.
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has 64.78 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal, car
Why did the farmer put brandy in the cow's food? He wanted to raised stewed beef.
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has 64.78 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
Little lad is sitting between his Mum and Dad on the sofa and they are playing a game about what sounds animals say. His Mum says "What does a duck say Tommy?" He says"Quack quack Mummy." His Mum says "Very good Tommy,that's right." She says "What does a dog say?" He says "Woof woof Mummy." She says "Very good." She says "What does a cat say?" He says "Meow meow Mummy." She says "Yes that's right." Tommy says "Let Daddy have a go." His dad says "Ok Tommy,what does a cow say?" The little lad looks confused and his Dad says "Come on Tommy you know what a cow says." Tommy says "Yes I do but do you mean a cow that eats grass and gives us our milk, or the one you where talking to Uncle John about, that said you could'nt go to the Stag show with him?"
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has 64.76 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: animal, family, game, insulting
Q: What is the difference between a rooster and a whore? A: The rooster goes cock doodle do and the whore goes any cock do!
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has 64.72 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, vulgar, work
Chuck Norris was once bitten by a venomous cobra .... After 5 days of excrutiating pain the cobra Eventually died
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has 64.71 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death
This little kid is walking up the street with his Daddy. They see two dogs going at it. The little kid says "Hey daddy what are those doggies doing?" The father says "Ahh, they're making a puppy." That night the little kid walks in on his mother & father and daddy's on top driving it home to mama! The little kid says "Hey daddy what were you doing with Mommy?" He says "Oh, were making it a baby." The kid say "Turn her over, I want a puppy!"
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has 64.23 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: animal, family, kids, sex
A blind man with a guide dog comes to a town square, takes the dog by the tail and starts whirling him around. „What on earth are you doing?!" asks a passer-by. The blind man replies, „Nothing, just looking around a bit."
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has 64.23 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: animal, black humor, dog
If God didn't want us to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them out of food.
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has 64.05 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, god, life
Q: Why is a sheep better than a woman? A: A sheep doesn't care if you fuck her sister.
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has 63.81 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, family, sex, women
A firefighter was working on the engine outside the Station, when he noticed a little girl nearby in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle. The girl was wearing a firefighter's helmet. The wagon was being pulled by her dog and her cat. The firefighter walked over to take a closer look. "That sure is a nice fire truck," the firefighter said with admiration. "Thanks," the girl replied. The firefighter looked a little closer. The girl had tied the wagon to her dog's collar and to the cat's testicles. "Little partner," the firefighter said, "I don't want to tell you how to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could go faster." The little girl replied thoughtfully, "You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have a siren."
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has 63.81 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat, dog, work
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