The best animal jokes

Three women escape from prison….one is a redhead, one a brunette, and one a blonde. They run for miles until they come upon an old barn; they decide to hide in the hayloft and rest. When they climb up, they find three gunnysacks and decide to put them over their heads for camouflage. About an hour later the sheriff and his deputy come into the barn. T he sheriff tell his deputy to go up and check out the hayloft. When he got up there the sheriff asked him what he saw. The deputy told him just three gunnysacks. The sheriff told him to find out what was in them…..so the deputy kicked the first bag, which had the redhead in it……and she went “Bow-wow.” So the deputy told the sheriff there was a dog in the first one. Then he kicked the one with the brunette in it and she went “Meow.” The deputy told the sheriff there was a cat in the second one. Then he kicked the one with the blonde in it and there was no sound at all, so he kicked it again and the blonde said “Potatoes.”
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has 62.19 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, cop, ginger, prison
Yo' Mama is so fat, her Polo shirts come with real horses on the pocket.
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has 62.04 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: animal, fat, Yo mama
How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh? Ten-tickles.
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has 61.92 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: animal, nerd
When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.
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has 61.92 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, food
Knock, knock. Who's there? Kanga. Kanga who? Actually, it's kangaroo!
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has 61.78 % from 108 votes. More jokes about: animal, knock-knock
What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow? Cowboom!
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has 61.63 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal
Do you know the difference between a postal box and a monkey's arse? Well if you don't know I will never ask you to post a letter for me.
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has 61.63 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal, insulting, mean
Q: What will a giraffe do, if you spit in its face? A: It will kick off your ladder…
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has 61.63 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal
Lion wakes up in the jungle and finds that a tool is missing, he goes to elephant and asks "Have you seen my tool?" Elephant replies: "What does it look like?" Lion: "Well it's got four points on it." Elephant: "Sorry, I haven't seen it, try mouse." So the Lion goes to the mouse and asks "Have you seen my tool?" Mouse: "What does it look like?" Lion: "Well it's got four points on it." Mouse: "Sorry mate, I've not seen it, try croc." So the lion proceeds to the crocodile and asks "Have you seen my tool?" Croc: "What does it look like?" Lion: "Well it's got four points on it." Croc: "Sorry I've not seen it, try Jaguar." So the lion goes to Jaguar and asks "Have you seen my tool?" Jaguar: "Of course, I ate it." Lion: "Why did you do that?" Jaguar: "Well I'm a four point tool eater Jaguar."
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has 61.63 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal
The mommy Cobra with her little son are taking a “walk”. The little cobra asks; "Mommy, are we poisonous?" "Yes, we are. Why you ask?" The little cobra asks again; "Are you sure that we’re poisonous?" "Yes I am!" says the mom with pride. The little one asks again; "Are you very very sure that we’re very poisonous?" "Damn sure! We’re the most poisonous snakes in the whole world! But why you ask?" The little cobra burst into tears; "Cause I bit my tongue a bit before!"
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has 61.63 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal
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