Chuck Norris doesn’t ride a horse, he uses his crotch to carry it.
The mommy Cobra with her little son are taking a “walk”. The little cobra asks; "Mommy, are we poisonous?" "Yes, we are. Why you ask?" The little cobra asks again; "Are you sure that we’re poisonous?" "Yes I am!" says the mom with pride. The little one asks again; "Are you very very sure that we’re very poisonous?" "Damn sure! We’re the most poisonous snakes in the whole world! But why you ask?" The little cobra burst into tears; "Cause I bit my tongue a bit before!"
One afternoon I was walking on a trail with my baby daughter, chatting to her about the scenery. When a man and his dog approached, I leaned down to the carriage and said, “See the doggy?” Suddenly I felt foolish talking to my baby as if she understood me. However, just as the man passed, he reached down, patted his dog, and said, “See the baby?”
Q: What do you get if you cross a bear with a toilet? A: Winnie the Pooh.
Did you hear about the pub owner who raised a baby rabbit? It was an inn-grown hare.
How do you make a rabbit fast? Don't feed it.
Chuck Norris eats black holes for breakfast. They taste like chicken.
What's wet and wiggly and says how do you do sixteen times? Two octopuses shaking hands.
Chuck Norris doesn't get shark attacked, the shark gets Chuck Norris attacked.