The best animal jokes

What gas do snails prefer? Shell.
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has 64.78 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal
What did Cinderella Dolphin where to the ball? Glass flippers.
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has 64.78 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal
Why did the jellyfish's wife leave him? He stung her into action.
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has 64.78 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal, wife
What kind of noise annoys an oyster? A noisy noise annoys an oyster. (Try saying that fast!)
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has 64.78 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal
What do you call a gay dinosaur?…… Mega-sore-ass.
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has 64.73 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: animal, dinosaur
At the pet shop, a man spots a parrot without any feet. The man leans in, "Hey buddy, how do you hang onto your perch without any feet?" "I wrap my little parrot penis around this wooden bar, kind of like a hook." "Wow," says the guy. "I can't believe you're so smart! I'm taking you home." Weeks go by, and the parrot not only understands everything the man says, but he gives good advice. The guy is delighted. One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot says, "Hey, I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife and the mailman." "What happened?" asks the guy. "Well," the parrot says, "when the mailman came to the door today, your wife greeted him in a sheer nightgown and kissed him on the mouth." "What happened then?" asks the guy. "Then, the mailman came into the house and lifted up your wife's nightgown," reports the parrot. "Oh no!" the guy says. "Then what?" "I don't know," says the parrot. "I got a hard-on and fell off my perch."
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has 64.72 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: animal, parrot, wife
If it looks like chicken tastes like chicken and smells like chicken and Chuck Norris says it's beef then it's beef.
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has 64.71 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, food
Yo Mamma so stupid she put on bug spray before she goes to the flee market!
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has 64.59 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: animal, insulting, stupid, Yo mama
Chuck Norris once walked in the opposite direction in the Running of the Bulls. The bulls turned around and ran for their lives.
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has 64.52 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
A black guys is walking through the woods, he starts to hear a sounds. It goes ching chong wu. So he starts to walk to wear he heard the sound. Soon enough he comes across a Chinese guy and a river. The black guy ask was that noise. The Chinese guy say, every time I throw a quarter in this river it tells me a name of an old relative. See watch, Chinese guy throws a quarter, ching chong chun. The black guy says let me try. He throws a quarter in and the river says, chimpanzee.
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has 64.35 % from 281 votes. More jokes about: animal, asian, black people, racist
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