The best animal jokes

Q: Why can't the bankrupt cowboy complain? A: He has got no beef.
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has 63.00 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, cowboy, money
If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program. The rest of them will write Perl programs.
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has 62.88 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: animal, coding, computer, IT
Mama Raptor and Papa Raptor were in court getting a divorce and the judge offered Baby Raptor a choice of which parent to live with. JUDGE: "Do you want to live with your mother?" BABY RAPTOR: "No! She beats me." JUDGE: "OK, then you can live with your father." BABY RAPTOR: "No! He beats me too!" JUDGE: "Well you have to live with someone. Who do you want to live with?" BABY RAPTOR: "I want to live with my Aunt Bertha in Toronto." JUDGE: "Is there any chance she'll beat you also?" BABY RAPTOR: "No sir. The Toronto Raptors don't beat anybody."
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has 62.75 % from 90 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby, dinosaur
A boy asks his mother for breakfast. She says, "Not until you feed the animals." The boy goes outside and says to the chicken, "I don't feel like feeding you today." So he kicks the chicken. He does the same with the cow and the pig. The boy goes back into the house and tells his mother that he's hungry. His mother says, "I saw you kick the chicken, so you're not getting any eggs, I saw you kick the cow, so you're not getting any milk, and I saw kick the pig, so you're not getting any bacon." Just then the boy's father walks down the steps, trips and kicks the cat. The boy says, "Mom, should I tell him?"
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has 62.74 % from 105 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat, food
An ant and an elephant share a night of romance. The next morning the ant wakes up and the elephant is dead. "Shit!" says the ant. "One night of passion and I will spend the rest of my life digging a grave!"
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has 62.61 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal
Where do you find a down-and-out octopus? On squid row.
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has 62.61 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal
What do you get from a short-legged cow? Dragon milk.
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has 62.61 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
What gives milk and has a horn? A milk tank.
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has 62.61 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
What lives in the ocean, is grouchy and hates neighbours? A hermit crab.
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has 62.61 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal
Did you hear about the rabbit who got a job in a watch factory? Alike did was stand around making faces.
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has 62.61 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal
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