The best animal jokes

White owl: who who. Black owl: who dat who dat.
Vote: has 65.91 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, racist
Yo mama so ugly that when she delivered a little baby after birth the baby saw mum and screamed "It's a gorilla!".
Vote: has 65.88 % from 55 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, baby, insulting, ugly, Yo mama
Chuck Norris was once bitten by a venomous cobra .... After 5 days of excrutiating pain the cobra Eventually died
Vote: has 65.80 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death
Chuck Norris walks into a bar, and as he enters, notices a horse and the end of the bar with a sign on it. Out of curiosity, he approaches the bartender and asks what the deal is with the horse at the end of the bar. The bartender tells him: "The sign says if you can make the horse laugh you'll win $50. Take note though that hundreds of people have tried and no-one has been able to do it." "Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back." So he walks to the end of the bar, whispers something into the horse's ear, and within seconds the horse is laughing hysterically. "That's amazing," said the bartender. "Tell you what, if you can make him cry I'll double your winnings." "Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back." So Chuck walked again over to the horse, came back to the bartender 2 minutes later, and the horse was balling and sobbing like a baby. "Well," replied Chuck Norris, "First I told him a had a bigger d*ck than he did. Then I showed him."
Vote: has 65.80 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, bar, Chuck Norris
Yo Mamma so stupid she put on bug spray before she goes to the flee market!
Vote: has 65.55 % from 68 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, insulting, stupid, Yo mama
Two hunters were dragging their dead deer back to their car. Another hunter approached pulling his along too. "Hey, I don’t want to tell you how to do something… but I can tell you that it’s much easier if you drag the deer in the other direction. Then the antlers won’t dig into the ground." After the third hunter left, the two decided to try it. A little while later one hunter said to the other, "You know, that guy was right. This is a lot easier!" "Yeah, but we’re getting farther from the truck," the other added.
Vote: has 65.48 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, death, hunting, life
Once Odhiambo a dark kenyan man was travelling to london by air sitting next to a white lady with his pet monkey. Oodhiambo stood up and went to the washrooms and when he came back he found his bunch of bananas missing. He asked the white lady "Sorry your brother here ate them all" she said while patting the monkey. After a while the lady got up and went to the washroom to come back and find his pet monkey dead She inquired on the matter, Odhiambo camly replied "I killed it." "Why?" asked the lady. He replied "This is family matter it doesnt concern you."
Vote: has 65.48 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, black people, family, racist, travel
Teacher: Students, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing? Class: "Brotherly love."
Vote: has 65.39 % from 71 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, love, school, teacher
A Guy goes into a bar with his pet octopus and says, "I bet $50 that no one here has a musical instrument that this octopus can't play." The people in the bar look around and someone fetches out an old guitar. The octopus has a look, picks it up, tunes up the strings and starts playing the guitar. The octopus' owner pockets the fifty bucks. The next guy comes up with a trumpet, octopus takes the horn, loosens up the keys, licks it's lips and starts playing a jazz solo. The guy hands over another fifty bucks to the octopus' owner. The bar owner has been watching all this and disappears out back, coming back a few moments later with a set of bagpipes under his arm. He puts them on the bar and says to the guy, "Now if your octopus can play that I'll give you a hundred dollars." The octopus takes a look at the bagpipes, lifts it up, turns it over, and has another look from a different angle. Puzzled, the octopus' owner comes up and says, "What are you pissing around for? Hurry up and play the damn thing!" The octopus says, "Play it? If I can figure out how to get it's pajama's off, I'm gonna screw it!"
Vote: has 65.36 % from 94 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, bar, disgusting, money, music
An ant and an elephant share a night of romance. The next morning the ant wakes up and the elephant is dead. "Shit!" says the ant. "One night of passion and I will spend the rest of my life digging a grave!"
Vote: has 65.32 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal