Why are rabbits like calculators? They both multiply a lot.
Chuck Norris doesn’t ride a horse, he uses his crotch to carry it.
A lonely frog telephoned the Psychic Hotline and asked what his future holds. His Personal Psychic Advisor tells him: "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you." The frog is thrilled, "This is great! "Will I meet her at a party?" he croaks. "No," says the psychic, "in biology class."
The mommy Cobra with her little son are taking a “walk”. The little cobra asks; "Mommy, are we poisonous?" "Yes, we are. Why you ask?" The little cobra asks again; "Are you sure that we’re poisonous?" "Yes I am!" says the mom with pride. The little one asks again; "Are you very very sure that we’re very poisonous?" "Damn sure! We’re the most poisonous snakes in the whole world! But why you ask?" The little cobra burst into tears; "Cause I bit my tongue a bit before!"
Q: What do you get if you cross a bear with a toilet? A: Winnie the Pooh.
What do you get if you cross a cow with a spaniel, a poodle, and a rooster? A cockerpoodlemoo.
Where do cows like to ride on trains? In the cow-boose.
What do you call a chocolate Easter bunny that was out in the sun too long? A runny bunny.
What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? Dam.
A man walks into a bar, after buying a beer he looks around the bar and sees three men and a dog playing cards. Amazed, the man wanders over and starts watching the game. Aftere watching the game for ten minutes, the man leans over to one of the other player's and whispers " Wow, that's a really smart dog!". The man whispers backs "He isn't that smart, every time he gets a good hand, he wags his tail!"