Buy a dog a toy and it will play with it for ever. Buy a cat a present and it will play with the wrapper for 10 minutes.
A boy at a cinema notices what looks like a bear sitting next to him "Are you a bear?" "Yes" "What are you doing at the movies?" "Well, I liked the book!"
What is a chameleon's motto? A change is as good as a rest.
What powerful reptile is found in the Sydney opera house? The Lizard of Oz.
What did Cinderella Dolphin where to the ball? Glass flippers.
A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, “Where were you during the first half?” He replied “Putting on my shoes!”.
Chuck Norris eats gummy bears and shits out grizzly bears.
When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.
I feel like every nature documentary is directed by a psychopath. "Here's the cutest baby animal ever." "Now let's watch something eat it."