The best animal jokes

Q: How does a blonde kill a worm? A: She burys it.
has 64.34 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, death, stupid
If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have? Plenty of milk.
has 64.28 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, math
A little lizard was walking through the forest to see his pal the monkey. The monkey call out hey little buddy come up here I got some great pot. So the little lizard climbed up the tree. The little lizard and the monkey smoked a great big joint. The little lizard said hey this stuff is great but I have horrible cottonmouth. Well there is a river just down there. So the little lizard walk down the tree through the brush and started to drink the water. All of a sudden a crocodile came out of the water. Hey little buddy waz up said the croc, "I just got stoned with my pal the monkey." "Really" said the croc, "where is he I want some." He is through the brush and up the tree. So the croc walked through the brush and to the tree. The monkey said "holy shit how much did you drink little buddy."
has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, weed
A blind man with a guide dog comes to a town square, takes the dog by the tail and starts whirling him around. „What on earth are you doing?!" asks a passer-by. The blind man replies, „Nothing, just looking around a bit."
has 64.23 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: animal, black humor, dog
Yo Mamma so stupid she put on bug spray before she goes to the flee market!
has 64.10 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: animal, insulting, stupid, Yo mama
A nude guy was sunbathing at the beach, a little girl comes to him, he covers his private parts with a newspaper. The little girl asks, "hats under there?" So the man answers , "A bird..." The girl goes away & the man falls asleep. When he wakes up, he finds himself in a hospital & in alot of pain. A doctor comes up to his bed & asks, 'What happened?' The man answers, "I don't know. I was at the beach & fell asleep after talking to a little girl." So the doctor tells this to the Police, and they go to the beach to find any witnesses. When they got there, they see the little girl the man was talking about. So they ask her if she did anything to the man...? She answers, "I din't do anything to the man, but he was sleeping, I played with his bird, After a while, it spat at me, so i broke its neck, burnt its nest, and smashed all its eggs!"
has 64.05 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: animal, cop, doctor, men
If God didn't want us to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them out of food.
has 64.05 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, god, life
Q: Why is a sheep better than a woman? A: A sheep doesn't care if you fuck her sister.
has 63.98 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, family, sex, women
What do you call a snake that is exactly 3.14 meters long? A πthon.
has 63.82 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: animal
Do you know the difference between a postal box and a monkey's arse? Well if you don't know I will never ask you to post a letter for me.
has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, insulting, mean
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