Two deer hunters were not having any luck so they asked for advice from an old-timer. "You can just about guarantee a deer if you learn to hunt with dogs," he said. The two hunters got a trained deer dog and hit the woods. At the end of the day and still empty-handed, one hunter said to the other, "Maybe tomorrow we'll get one if we throw the dog out of a higher treestand."
Teacher: "What does a duck say?" Jenny: "Quack Quack" Teacher: "What does a cow say?" Madison: "Moo" Teacher: "What does a pig say?" Little Johnny: "A pig says *holds up gun* get on the wall, you motherfucker!"
A man runs over a cat. The cat’s address is on its collar so the man goes to apologise to the owner. He knocks on the door and a little old lady answers. The man says, ‘I’m so sorry. I’ve just run over your cat. Can I replace it?’ ‘I don’t know,’ replies the old lady. ‘How are you at catching mice?’
Q: What is height of De-hydration? A: A cow giving milk powder.
What's the best way to make a bull sweat? Put him in a tight jumper !
Why did the farmer put brandy in the cow's food? He wanted to raised stewed beef.
What does a cow ride when his car is broken? A COW-asaki MOO-torcycle.
What do you call it when one bull spies on another bull? A steak-out.
Why don't cows ever have any money? Because the farmers milk them dry.
Cow: "Why don't you shoo those flies?" Bull: "I ll let them go barefoot!"