Yo Mamma so stupid she put on bug spray before she goes to the flee market!
A turtle was walking down an alley in New York when he was mugged by a gang of snails.
A police detective came to investigate and asked the turtle if he could explain what happened.
The turtle looked at the detective with a confused look on his face and replied "I don't know, it all happened so fast."
Did you hear about the pub owner who raised a baby rabbit?
It was an inn-grown hare.
How do you make a rabbit fast?
Don't feed it.
What does a bunny use when it goes fishing?
A harenet.
What's wet and wiggly and says how do you do sixteen times?
Two octopuses shaking hands.
This little snail bought a little car and took it to the body shop to have it painted.
The service man asked him exactly what he wanted done, and the snail said he wanted little's s painted all around and all over his car.
The service man asked him why, and the snail answered "When people see me in my car I want them to say, look at that S-Car-Go!"
Two deer hunters were not having any luck so they asked for advice from an old-timer.
"You can just about guarantee a deer if you learn to hunt with dogs," he said.
The two hunters got a trained deer dog and hit the woods.
At the end of the day and still empty-handed, one hunter said to the other, "Maybe tomorrow we'll get one if we throw the dog out of a higher treestand."
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Owls say.
Owls say who?
Yep, that they do.
Vote:
Two elephants meet a totally naked guy. After a while one elephant says to the other: "I really don't get how he can feed himself with that thing!"