Chuck Norris tangled with Wolverine.
He beat to him to a bloody pulp, then dared him to heal himself.
Wolverine will not be in the next X-Men movie.
Rabbit: "Are you sure this bottle of special carrot juice will cure me?"
Doctor: "Absolutely. No rabbit ever came back for another."
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a tadpole and turned it into a frog, then he kicked it again and it died.
First Caribou: What kind of math do owls like?
Second Caribou: Owlgebra.
Why was the racehorse named Bad News?
Because bad news travels fast!
Q: What is the difference between a chicken and a turkey?
A: Chickens celebrate Thanksgiving!
A rattle snake bit Chuck Norris in the leg and the snake died instantly!
If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have?
Plenty of milk.
A retiring farmer in preparation for selling his land, needed to rid his farm of animals.
So he went to every house in his town.
To the houses where the man is the boss, he gave a horse.
To the houses where the woman is the boss, a chicken was given.
He got toward the end of the street and saw a couple outside gardening.
"Who's the boss around here?" he asked.
"I am." said the man.
"I have a black horse and a brown horse," the farmer said, "which one would you like?"
The man thought for a minute and said, "The black one."
"No, no, no, get the brown one." the man's wife said.
"Here's your chicken." said the farmer.
A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road.
A woman is driving down the same road.
As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells "PIG!"
The man immediately leans out of his window and replies, "BITCH!"
They each continue on their way, and ... as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road ... and dies immediately.
If only men would listen...