A mother and her young son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The son turned from the window to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?" The mother said, "Well, maybe that’s something you could ask the stewardess." So the boy asked the stewardess, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big planes have baby planes?" The stewardess responded, "Did your mother tell you to ask me?" The boy admitted that this was the case. "Well, then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time. You can ask your mother to explain it to you."
Chuck Norris doesn't just bring home the bacon, he brings home the whole pig.
Chuck Norris can make a turtle go faster.
I thought I was at a Nicki Minaj concert for 20 minutes before I realized I was just watching a homeless man yell at a pigeon.
Q: What is worst than raining black cats and bloodhounds? A: Hailing taxi cabs!
Why did the farmer fence in the bull? The farmer had too much of a steak in him to let him go!
Why did Bossy tell the cowpoke to leave her calf alone? She thought children should be seen and not herded!
Chuck Norris once broke a mirror over the head of a black cat while standing under a ladder on Friday the thirteenth. The next day he won the lottery.
Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.
Did you hear about the pub owner who raised a baby rabbit? It was an inn-grown hare.