One day a man heard knocking at his door. He opened the door only to see a small snail sitting there smiling. The guy picked the snail up and threw it as far as he possibly could. Three years later he heard knocking at the door again. He opened the door to see the snail. The snail said, "What the hell was that all about?"
Knock, knock. Who's there? Owls say. Owls say who? Yep, that they do.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Kanga. Kanga who? Actually, it's kangaroo!
A deer hunter who was an atheist was out in the woods when suddenly a 1,000-pound deer stepped out. "Good God!" exclaimed the hunter. Suddenly, a voice from Heaven said, "I thought you don't believe in me." The hunter replied, "Up until now I didn't believe in 1,000-pound deer either."
What dinosaur can't stay out in the rain? Stegosaur-rust.
Knock knock. Who's there? Allahu Akbar. Allahu AK- BOOM!!!
Knock Knock. Who's there! Ice cream! Ice cream who? Ice cream if you don't let me in!
There was once a puppy called May who loved to pick quarrels with animals who were bigger than she was. One day she argued with a lion. The next day was the first of June. Why? Because that was the end of May!
Knock, knock! Who's there? Spell. Spell who? W-H-O.
Some scientists decided to do the following experiments on a dog. For the first experiment, they cut one of the dog's legs off, then they told the dog to walk. The dog got up and walked, so they they learned that a dog could walk with just three legs. For the second experiment, they cut off a second leg from the dog, then they told the dog once more to walk. The dog was still able to walk with only two legs. For the third experiment, they cut off yet another leg from the dog and once more they told the dog to walk. However, the dog wasn't able to walk with only one leg. As a result of these three experiments, the scientists wrote in their final report that the dog had lost it's hearing after having three legs cut off.
Knock Knock Who's there! B-4! B-4 who? B-4 you take the diploma, shake the dean's hand.