One day a man heard knocking at his door. He opened the door only to see a small snail sitting there smiling. The guy picked the snail up and threw it as far as he possibly could. Three years later he heard knocking at the door again. He opened the door to see the snail. The snail said, "What the hell was that all about?"
Knock, knock. Who's there? Owls say. Owls say who? Yep, that they do.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Kanga. Kanga who? Actually, it's kangaroo!
One night, there was a knock on my door... i open it and no one was there every night I would get the same knock and still no one was there... Untill the morning I was just making myself some tea as a person knocks on my door it was a black man he walk in and stole my tea .... i said to myself did he just mug me .... I still didn't know who was knocking on the doors at night Untill one night I opened my door and there was a floating mug I was still confused.
What is the difference between a man and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker and the other is a fish.
A man is trapped on a desert island with a sheep and a dog. After a few months, the sheep starts looking really attractive to the man. However, whenever he approaches the sheep the dog begins to growl in a threatening manner. The man takes the dog to the opposite side of the island giving it some food as a distraction. He runs back to the sheep only to find the dog growling at him. The man ties the dog to a tree with a large leash. He goes back to the sheep only to find the dog growling with a gnawed off leash around its neck. By now, the man is getting depressed and frustrated. As he sits under a palm tree staring out to sea, a beautiful woman in a tight-fitting wet suit emerges from the surf. She asks him who he is and, taking pity upon his lonely state, asks if there's ANYTHING she could do for him. The man thinks for a moment and then responds: "Could you take the dog for a walk?"
Yo' Mama is so fat, when she went to KFC, she ordered the bucket of chicken on the roof.
Knock, knock! Who's there? Spell. Spell who? W-H-O.
Knock, knock; Who is there? Love; Love who? U, U, U!
It was a hot summer night. Slowly I spread her legs and my hand was trying to find its way to her nipple... I was so excited! I never milked a cow before...